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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-15-04, 10:42 PM
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#1
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New to RB
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Fresh Fragrence
IP: 0825 899A
tappin my pencil starin at the clock/
Maybe its off so I look down at my watch/ When I hear the door click then shut gently/ I staired at here and tried to think simply/ But as she took a seat in front of me, I got lost/ In the smell comin off her hair and neck/ She smell like she needin some attention, thinkin she was neglect-ed/ I could be the best elect-ed to give you respect-and/ I was askin her question and about her love life/ She said she was single but lookin for a man that loves life/ So I took a breathe and was again takin by her tameness/ I couldnt help but to take another smell of her fresh fragrence/ (JUST A DIALY HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH STORY, YADDA YADDA......) uppin for feedback, holla!
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ILL Philosophy:::: Myth MC Prephickz Mistah_Tate "Wif him I feel no more pain/ Like I been baptized in novacain/" ------Genisis |
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09-18-04, 03:10 PM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: 28AD 5545
uppin yall! gimme some feedback!
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ILL Philosophy:::: Myth MC Prephickz Mistah_Tate "Wif him I feel no more pain/ Like I been baptized in novacain/" ------Genisis |
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09-18-04, 07:43 PM
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#3
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Light Weight
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IP: 28AD 5545
This don't seem like it's finished. When I got to the end I left me hanging like there should be more. Maybe you might want to write more to this and see what else you can add.
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09-19-04, 11:16 AM
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#4
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New to RB
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IP: 28AD 5545
yea, I was thinkin dat too dawg, good eye. I am still pretty new to da whole "POETRY" thing too, but yea, thnx for feedback ^^^^uppin^^^^
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ILL Philosophy:::: Myth MC Prephickz Mistah_Tate "Wif him I feel no more pain/ Like I been baptized in novacain/" ------Genisis |
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