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12-13-04, 10:46 PM | #1 | ||||
.L.B.S. PUSHER.
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...guilt inside...
IP: 88C4 C811
for somereaosn im feelin guilty of myself even thou i just turned the age of 12// my heart has undaneath this G as something keeps on building up inside of me//I would tell her i do n truly do care but i cant cuz i dont wanna see her form head to toe just to see my last n final faint of her sayin no....//Compared to me or u,id pick u cuz ur my sky n my son n finally realized ur my only one//
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12-14-04, 01:08 PM | #2 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 28AD 5545
For a twelve year old, this was good, watch yuor spelling and structure, so its easier to read, but your words were sweet...keep droppin..1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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12-14-04, 01:57 PM | #3 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 11AF 50EC
^^agree's w/ fluid dis was a GOOD drop for a 12 year old, n yea watch ur structure n wat not nice words n ect
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12-14-04, 04:44 PM | #4 | ||||
yawn
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IP: CB2A 9D70
Definantly work on your structure... Dont use the crappy newb rap battler stucture with the //'s.... And watch the spelling, i'm pretty sure you meant to say 'sun' and not 'son' cause....thats just weird
Return the favor? Just a Vent
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12-16-04, 09:49 PM | #5 | ||||
.L.B.S. PUSHER.
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iight
IP: ABE5 5A5C
iight sure ill keep those in mind also.. n yea thanks for the props for this one...
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