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Old 01-20-05, 02:51 AM   #1
kaveh
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yo peep this track..remember tho im still new at audios...eney tips or feedback would be much appreciated!..drop links also

www.soundclick.com/kaveh7
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Old 01-20-05, 03:11 AM   #2
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this is aight....you just need to work on emotion...and your presence...

its like your reading.....oyu need to memorize your verses....

nice beat for the topic....
yeah you have nice quality....just try to use more emotion..and actaully spit your shit..dont read.....but good shit..for your first song....

chorus...could have had alot more anger or somehting in it.....but nice lyrics

all i can say.....for right now
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Old 01-20-05, 03:35 AM   #3
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^i disagree dj i actually think the emotion was good what you need is a better flow you kinda went off on the last chrous part the chrous is ok but should just be done with maybe effects on your voice or some shit this is nice good lyrics sounds eminemish good track i like the topic you shouldve had a longer beat so you could get deeper into the topic but still i liked this good drop.
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Old 01-20-05, 03:40 AM   #4
kaveh
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ight thanks for the feedback man...lookin to keep improvin on it
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Old 01-25-05, 11:23 AM   #5
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yea...this was a good track...with your flow it was good for topic...the only thing you could do is instead of just a glock type flow...pop pop pop...in some areas speed it up a lil bit to a AK type flow...poppoppop...but other than that it was dope...keep it up mayne...
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Old 01-26-05, 12:26 AM   #6
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ight i feel ya man...thanks alot for the tips, much appreciated
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Old 01-26-05, 01:19 AM   #7
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i approve i liked this actually i felt this alot idk why maybe bc its an emtional type that i just did one...lol yo the flow wasnt bad the hook had goos flow/delivery,the 1st verse flow was a bit..off,second verse was much better....ur new huh? the quality and flow nd even the delivery wasnt bad at all for u i give ya a 8/10...return the favor please...maybe we can collab soon...1
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Old 01-26-05, 01:33 AM   #8
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ight...thanks alot for the feed man, ill return the favor right now..and yeh ill definatly drop a track wit you
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Old 01-27-05, 09:11 PM   #9
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Turn down your vocals a lil bit, work on your breathe control so you don't have to record in patches. Polish your flow as well, it's bland and boring, you need to attract some attention and a Depressin beat and song like this isn't goin to work with a bland delivery, stay up tho.
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Old 02-04-05, 12:50 AM   #10
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ight..definatly, ill work on it
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Old 02-04-05, 05:16 PM   #11
Ike
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yea i honestly wasnt feelin your flow.....it wasnt too great in the first verse....although it did improve in the second verse....you just need to work on your flow a lot......delivery was pretty good.....beat was nice for this type of topic......the hook....you shoulda put some more emotion into it in my opinion.....it did seem like you were reading it........just elevate yourself..........lyrics were pretty good by the way
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