Battle Rules:

Topical

10 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Topic: An Insane Man's Sane Plan

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 02-05-05 at 11:22 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

THE_ONE has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-02-05 11:23 AM.

As I sit here and write this I can't help but think....
If I am truly crazy maybe I might be on the brink....
of Insanity could I be a truly insane individual....
I can't come to grips that I have a deteriorating mental...
My Mind is all distorted I'm talking to Malcolm X and Ghandi....
Their dead
Their dead? what the fuck but I talk to them constantly.....
and what about my conversations with Che Guevara & Marcus Garvey?....
about revolution revolting against injustices that constantly remind me....
about why I was taken from africa and forced to work hard....
trying to cope with the everyday stress of being a slave always talking to GOD....
But you were never a slave
I am a slave to the system meaning I was never meant for great things...
I was deemed a threat before I was even born so do you know what anguish my pigment brings...
I'm always looked at as a burden to the american dream....
I mean~what am I to do if everything I do is for not....
and I wasn't going to make it out of the hood without getting shot...
So am I always the one robbing liquor stores with a mask and a gun....
statistics said I wasn't going to make it to twenty-one....
Why are you talking to yourself?
SHUT THE FUCK UP! Why are you always being so damn negative....
I have my own life my own existence so can I live?
I'm thinking out loud that is why my mouth is moving....
They keep me in this jacket and this padded room my sanity I'm steadily loosing....
so when I'm released from my prison I know what must be done...
I can't take another day without looking at the sun....
so I'm going back home since from heaven I was sent....
and when I'm gone all my past sins GOD shall repent....
YOU IDIOT SUICIDE IS THE ULTIMATE SIN

__________________

~Da_Illest~ has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-02-05 03:16 PM.

here's my 1st one of these.............

An Insane Man's Sane Plan

I got a call 2day from da hospital saying my girl who had breast cancer just died//
& i'm still an emotional wreck because i just lost my cousin the other night//
all this emotional strain & stress is just 2 much 4 me 2 bare//
i'm at the end of my wick's & i'm close 2 pullin out all my hair//
so i go into my bedroom shut the door & just think this thang thru//
so i sit at my desk 2 write a sane plan of stuff that i need 2 do//
number 1: start mediating this way i can learn how to
challenge my issues of each day//
number 2: need to treat otha people the way i wanna
be treated & watch what it is i say//
number 3: change my lifestyle, & stop hanging out at
places with people i have got over with//
number 4: learn to control my anger & come to terms
that with my life i need 2 get in grips which

Voted For: ~Da_Illest~

i think da illest won this battle
he had better structure
had better multies and his punches hit stronger
both had good flow
but da illest won
da illest favorite lines:
I got a call 2day from da hospital saying my girl who had breast cancer just died//
& i'm still an emotional wreck because i just lost my cousin the other night//
all this emotional strain & stress is just 2 much 4 me 2 bare//
i'm at the end of my wick's & i'm close 2 pullin out all my hair//

__________________

Voted For: THE_ONE

i thought this was pure wack if ya ask me...anywayz The ONE got my vote..he had betta structure i thought and shit was less gay...both elavate on topical cuz i see potential in bouf of you...

v/the one...and get fukkin active cuz you aint da co leader anymore in TG fam...~1~

ok uppin yall uppin

__________________

Voted For: ~Da_Illest~

i like da topicals especially cuz diz is where ur creativity comes into play:

i like ill's verse even know it was short cuz it was more direct & got straight 2 da point; i considerally like his lines of "I got a call 2day from da hospital saying my girl who had breast cancer just died"/ i'm an emotional wreck cuz i just lost my cousin the otha night/ & his next bar
on da otha hand the_one i think u had da concept but kinda got lost afta dat 1st verse 2 try & figure out wut u should write next; basically i'm saying u didn't say on topic 4 me so ill wins my vote

Voted For: THE_ONE

i liked how social outsider took this topic and made a stand point where the insane man was hearing voices and talkin to himself.. Da Illest you came pretty straight forward but i wasn't feeling your whole set up... i felt like you coulda gave an idea of the plan instead of just laying it out right away.. give your readers something to look into, and keep them guessing.. however you content was still nice, just need to work on what i mentioned.. these lines were effective in this battle:
I'm thinking out loud that is why my mouth is moving....
They keep me in this jacket and this padded room my sanity I'm steadily loosing....
so when I'm released from my prison I know what must be done...
I can't take another day without looking at the sun....
so I'm going back home since from heaven I was sent....
and when I'm gone all my past sins GOD shall repent....
^^that was an excellent portion of your piece, social.outsyder.... you stuck to the topic well (both of you).. But i'm leaning towards the better setting (plot) and content.. social.outsyder..

__________________

ight good lookin out y'all 4 my votes fo sho uppin uppin

Voted For: THE_ONE

no contest social derfinitly won this, he did better in every category,
i dont think that the illest really understood the topic, if he did it wasnt interpreted well, the structure was also fucked, the rhymes were basic and didnt have any wordplay
the vocab could have been up'd a little
social had a good verse, better in every category... nothing really needed MAJOR improvement

v/ social.outsider

rtf, links in sig

haha, da illest voted for himself wit his alias...da throwdest, ip's

haha, i aint gonna turn him in, but anyone else can feel free to

Voted For: ~Da_Illest~

diz was a pretty interesting topic 2 write about but i'll say that both of y'all started off pretty good on this: ill u were direct & 2 the point with your insane man sane plan; & the_one u were good 2 but the only thing that made my sway towards ill was b'cuz u never really explained what drove u 2 b'come insane in the first place