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Uppin this shit 4 comments

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i didnt like the begining....hennesy....man its all about E an J

lol

but for real this shit was aight....i can tell that you wanna elevaTE... you are trying to be one of the bets at topicals and poetry,,,,,,all you need is a lil more work.....i understand ( you may be good) in text but these are totally different... you need different vocab..you need words that express more than just one sensary detail....ya feel

thats pretty much it for now...get back to this later

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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours

4 sho./////////////

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i like how the way you wrote this, i kinda agree wit D J emcee .....about the Hennessey part NAW JUST JOKIN! lol.. you can tell that you want to elevate in the poetic side of text, which i believe you will soon, because i notice you are writing in a stand point where people can understand where you are coming from, once you know people can get on your level then you can get more descriptive wit ya words and express the lines the way you want the reader to take it in.. you on your way, keep droppin that hot stuff, i'mma keep supportin' your workz.. stay up.. 1

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^^what they said lol no I mean it was a good peice but like dj emcee said you need a different vocabulary then regualr texts and you need to really paint a picture with your words witht the imagery you use you dont want them to just read it and be like oh nice peice you want them to see and feel what your trying to say..just keep at it..its all good

thanks ya...ya kno im jus use 2 batteling
same thing in my topicals
i need 2 work on my imagery

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