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Old 03-11-05, 01:24 AM   #1
Red Stroke
I'm Back....
 
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--Love Story--

IP: 93C0 D1DD



This Is How I Feel, I Feel What Is Real, Girl I Miss You So Much Now-A-Days You Don't Know It Yet But Uhhh........


Now That Your Gone Girl, I'm Going To Need One More Tissue
Got Me Asking Your Friends, And Saying How Much I Miss You
I Can't Explain It, But I'm Missing You So Much Right Bout Now
Never Anwser Your Phone, When I End Up Calling Your House,
Now I See It Clear, How Much I Really Loved You, And Cared
In The Begining I Didn't Show It, Coz I Felt Like I Was Scared
It's Nothing Personal Girl, You Don't Know How Much You Mean
I See You As My Light, My Love, Life And My Beauty Queen....
Let You Slip One To Many Times, I Guess This Time It's Over...
It Hurt Me Inside, A Dark Spot Of My Heart Just Got Colder.....
Your Friends All Said We Make A Perfect Couple, Even Ya Ex.....
But I Guess It Was A Cover Up For Being With Me, What's Next?
I'm Into You More Then Rosses, With Thorns Sticking Out Girl..
Said You'd Never Leave Me, And I Made You My Whole World...
My Nighst Stay Black As The Color Of The Clouds During Storms
They Say I'm To Young To Know Love, But It Comes In Forms..
My Shoe Laces Is Untied, Coz My Friends Say I'm Just Tripping
Found Baseball To Occupy Me, And Liqure To Start Sipping......
I Guess The Old Me Has To Come Back, Before You Changed Me
Gave Me A Heart, Turned Around And Crushed It ReAranged Me
Now I'm Going To The Wizard Walking Down The Yellow Brick Road
It Feels So Loneyl, Now I Realize This, Coz My World Is So Cold...
You Lead Me On Thinking We'de Be Together, For A While And....
Left Me Standing In The Shadows, Darkness Now Covers The Depths
Of My Thoughts Coz I Feel Like There is Nothing Real In My Life
Despite The Fact, That You Knew Me And You Together Was Right
I'm Confused My Brain Seems Abused By You, Don't Know Why.....
For You I Did My Best, It's What It Was I Did More Then Tryed.....
Read My Lips, Girl I'm Going Out Of My Mind, Incase You Still Care
I Wrote This To Let You Know How I Feel......If You Wasn't Aware





http://community.rapverse.com/showt...eferrerid=36617

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...eferrerid=36617
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Last edited by Fatal Lyrikz : 03-11-05 at 01:30 AM.
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Old 03-11-05, 01:27 AM   #2
Red Stroke
I'm Back....
 
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IP: 93C0 D1DD

Alright Ppl Let Me Get Some Feed Please
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Old 03-11-05, 06:02 PM   #3
Red Stroke
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Bump, Bump..........................
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Old 03-11-05, 09:47 PM   #4
Affinity
Banned: Cheating
 
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thats fuckin ILL man, some of the lines rhymes seemed forced tho like this line:
Now I See It Clear, How Much I Really Loved You, And Cared
^^forced rhyme, try giving it room for the emotion like 5 words or so, and make sure the syllable count is equal and you would be on my level fo sho, the imagery was very nice you got me into writing tonight so im gonna get at it, ight
keep doin ya thang and take my advice i jsut got that same advice form wet willy last night

Return a vote if possible, vs. big city pz
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Old 03-11-05, 09:50 PM   #5
Red Stroke
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Alright Hommie I Got You Tonight Weerd
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Old 03-12-05, 04:42 AM   #6
Red Stroke
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Bump, Bump..............
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Old 03-12-05, 12:43 PM   #7
Red Stroke
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Well I'm Still Bumping This I Guess
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Old 03-12-05, 04:53 PM   #8
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..........................................
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Old 03-12-05, 07:23 PM   #9
Effect
..::shut the fuck up::..
 
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very good this was quite a deep verse welldone i liked it.
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