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View Poll Results: Who won this battle?
Topical 0 0%
Limited Edition 5 100.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 05-11-05, 03:22 AM   #1
CounTREE Jay
The New King Of New York
 
CounTREE Jay's Avatar
 
From: Da Branch, N.Y.
Limited Edition vs Topical

IP: 3FF1 0D3E

Topical vs. Limited Edition

Crhyme Sindicate vs. 6 Feet

Topical Battle:

Topic:

Suicide Note

Battle Rules:

6 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes (Includes The Establishment and The Council)
No Recycling
No Biting

Minimum posts to vote: 500

Check in by: 05-14-05 at 03:22 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.
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Old 05-11-05, 02:47 PM   #2
System
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP: 87C5 5C3A

Limited Edition has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-11-05 02:47 PM.
 
Old 05-11-05, 04:59 PM   #3
System
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP: CE10 8C0C

Topical has ACCEPTED this battle on 05-11-05 04:59 PM.
 
Old 05-13-05, 05:14 PM   #4
Topical
New to RV
 
IP: CE10 8C0C


Suicide Note

As I awoke in the morning I noticed, outside, it was pouring
Time to get up and do nothing, I got no job, my life is boring
Making me some lunch, I grab the knife, and began to wonder
Would anyone care if I took my life, went on an eternal slumber
But I always wonder about death, it's cuz im always stressed
Because at the end of the night, Im the one who is gettin left
Alone, this community is cold, with there eyes they keep staring
Feindish looks bewaring, this life is dark, and unimaginably scary
I live in a 2 room apartment, with no carpet, so it hurts your feet
Most of the money i got pay bills, so for me, it's hard to just eat
Tried sellin on the streets, but with that came police, time in jail
So for a while there, my grocery money, went to my own bail
I sit down and watch some tv, and reminice about old memories
The phone rings, this girl sayin she comin over, I said u better be
Eventually i hear a knock at the door, I rush over to greet her
Open the door, she's lookin sexy as hell, staring at her curves
Invite her in, we both sit down, i make light talk for a little while
Flirtin with her, I look in her eyes, she looks in mine then smiles
I told her i need to shower, and she asks if i want any company
With that said, i pitured her naked, on top, and crazy humpin me
But I said no, and went on with my business, and took a shower
I herd her creep sometime later, it hadnt even been but a half hour
She yanked the curtain open, and i noticed she was holdin somthin
Then she said, "Look." and took what she had held, like it was nothin
Slit her fuckin throat, and then I screamed and ran out to the table
Tried to pick up the phone and dial for help off of the nine-11 label
As I was talkin i notcied a piece of paper, i put down the phone
Opened the note, read it, it said how she didnt want to be alone
I never shoulda declined the offer to fonicate, but now it's too late
Then at the end it said, "This is my letter of love, lust and anger.
So thanks for leaving me alone," i think i guess i shoulda banged her,
"Im suicidal, you never shoulda left me to be a threat to myself.
If you woulda just fucked me, i'd have lost stress and it coulda helped.
So this is the last thing you will read, i loved you, wanted us to be, i hope...
That seeing me die, is great, cuz now all you got is my suicide note"
__________________
Chryme Sindicate

Battles:
vs Limited Edition down 0-1 (topical)
vs CrazyDogg up 3-0 (txt)
 
Old 05-14-05, 01:29 PM   #5
L.E
L.E
 
L.E's Avatar
 
From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
IP: 6022 FE6A

...I sit at the desk that has given me pressure on my chest...
...Image of death in my mind, why have I failed God's test...
...I begin to scribble down, jot letters that hold my repentance...
...Left defenseless, I die even more, I cry even more each sentance...

To My Family...

None of this is your fault, we have had a tough going...
...Whether it was rain or snowing, we had just quit growing
It all started when Pa died, please let my explain myself...
...These are the reasons that I am gonna end the pain I dealt
When Pa died, the world collapsed, and the stars vanished...
...Oh such a lonely planet, why do we face something so tragic?
The words that ran through our heads........He's really gone...
...That drove so many people so crazy.......Even Dad and mom
Dad started drinking even more, and Mom couldn't take it...
...Instead of encouraging Dad, she tried a fast way to escape it
It's my fault that they're divorced, I already faced realization...
...The skies are ragin', so I'm gonna end the tears, my eyes are blazin'...

To My Friends...

To the few that I have, please don't take this as offence...
...Do you love me as a brother, or do you hate me in a sense?
Do you use me and abuse me, and find that so amusing....?
...I can't even tell anymore...so this is the path that I am choosing
You say don't do it, what is the message from that motive...?
...If you truly did care for me, then you should have shown it
I sit alone, cold, drink a brew have a smoke in the dark...
...You don't even have the guts to talk to me, and I'm not too far
So this is what I am saying to you, at my time of death...
...If you did care for me, then you should have shown respect
But no you pushed and reject, pushing me to do this...
...And if you didn't care for me, than I guess I'm the one who's stupid....

Signed,
Chad W. McGhie


...I fold the piece of paper, put it in an empty envelope...
...I hang the rope, and I tie the noose around my throat...
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Old 05-14-05, 01:30 PM   #6
L.E
L.E
 
L.E's Avatar
 
From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
IP: 6022 FE6A

...I sit at the desk that has given me pressure on my chest...
...Image of death in my mind, why have I failed God's test...
...I begin to scribble down, jot letters that hold my repentance...
...Left defenseless, I die even more, I cry even more each sentance...

To My Family...

None of this is your fault, we have had a tough going...
...Whether it was rain or snowing, we had just quit growing
It all started when Pa died, please let my explain myself...
...These are the reasons that I am gonna end the pain I dealt
When Pa died, the world collapsed, and the stars vanished...
...Oh such a lonely planet, why do we face something so tragic?
The words that ran through our heads........He's really gone...
...That drove so many people so crazy.......Even Dad and mom
Dad started drinking even more, and Mom couldn't take it...
...Instead of encouraging Dad, she tried a fast way to escape it
It's my fault that they're divorced, I already faced realization...
...The skies are ragin', so I'm gonna end the tears, my eyes are blazin'...

To My Friends...

To the few that I have, please don't take this as offence...
...Do you love me as a brother, or do you hate me in a sense?
Do you use me and abuse me, and find that so amusing....?
...I can't even tell anymore...so this is the path that I am choosing
You say don't do it, what is the message from that motive...?
...If you truly did care for me, then you should have shown it
I sit alone, cold, drink a brew have a smoke in the dark...
...You don't even have the guts to talk to me, and I'm not too far
So this is what I am saying to you, at my time of death...
...If you did care for me, then you should have shown respect
But no you pushed and reject, pushing me to do this...
...And if you didn't care for me, than I guess I'm the one who's stupid....

Signed,
Chad W. McGhie


...I fold the piece of paper, put it in an empty envelope...
...I hang the rope, and I tie the noose around my throat....
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Old 05-14-05, 01:55 PM   #7
50Cal.
STROBE's Favorite Rapper
 
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From: New York
This was feedback posted for Limited Edition

IP: 3147 6785

l.e owned him hahahahahahahahaha checkinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Old 05-14-05, 02:31 PM   #8
eph
As Seen On T.V.
 
IP: 5867 FD83

Voted For: Limited Edition

summary:

Limited Edition, your words were few and powerful. i mean, the way you brought this was good. although i despised the way you worded many things, i enjoyed the duration of the multies and structured flow. the verse was overrall, good. you had some minor mishaps. but i believe you deserve my vote, both hands down. word. um the only advice i would see fit to pass to you, is to udilize the thesaurus hidden in your cerebral quater. good read.

Topical, i saw your verse as handled incorrectly, im not sure there is such a thing as a illigitemate topical, since topicals are cardiovascular, meaning they are told with one opinion, one view and one only. therefore your verse cannot be blasphemis, it just wasnt as enjoyable as LE's. it was good, but your rising action (approach) didnt really connect with the climax. looking at it this way, clarifies that it was good...just not well premeditated. good luck with the rest of the polls.

vote: Limited Edition
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quote your own damn lyrics...
 
Old 05-14-05, 04:27 PM   #9
Topical
New to RV
 
IP: CE10 8C0C

yeh i kinda just threw something together.........i didnt plan out what i was writing i just kinda keyd it in a sense...........but yeh i agree LE had a more powerful drop.......so i dont expect to get many votes.....if any

good drop LE

uppin
__________________
Chryme Sindicate

Battles:
vs Limited Edition down 0-1 (topical)
vs CrazyDogg up 3-0 (txt)
 
Old 05-14-05, 09:57 PM   #10
Hate chew
Yes you.
 
Hate chew's Avatar
 
This was feedback posted for Topical

IP: 5285 DC82

close battle...close battle.............cant vote cause im TC
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Im A Throwback
 
Old 05-15-05, 03:39 PM   #11
~Babylon~
~Lyrical Nirvana~
 
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From: Newark,NJ
This was feedback posted for Topical

IP: 0825 899A

checkin polls............................................. ....
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Old 05-16-05, 12:33 AM   #12
Topical
New to RV
 
IP: CE10 8C0C

uppin...i guesss my verse was a lil better than i thought
__________________
Chryme Sindicate

Battles:
vs Limited Edition down 0-1 (topical)
vs CrazyDogg up 3-0 (txt)
 
Old 05-17-05, 08:52 PM   #13
Topical
New to RV
 
IP: CE10 8C0C

^________________________________________________^
__________________
Chryme Sindicate

Battles:
vs Limited Edition down 0-1 (topical)
vs CrazyDogg up 3-0 (txt)
 
Old 05-18-05, 04:16 PM   #14
Compose
 
From: Bronx, NY
IP: D5FE 7245

Voted For: Limited Edition

Emotion-Limited, i liked the emotion a lot in limiteds piece...there were many good lines that brought this aspect out, the breaking up of the sections like friends and family were great...there were good liens from each of them that brightened the emotion aspect...topicals verse was ...ok with emotion, it felt too normal and played out though...

Imagery-Topical...i thought topical had more imagery here...basically had more lines describing how the situation looked and all

Beginning/Ending-Limited for beginning, Topical for ending...Limiteds beginning had a better transition into someone about to read a piece...it didnt have a beginning that made the reader feel like there was a lot more to read...and it brought the reader into the situation good, but i believe Topical got the ending...i loved topicals ending and i wouldve never thought the girl would of killed herself...

Overall it was close but im going with Limited because of the reasons posted above also his transitions in his piece were a lot better...near the middle to end of Topicals verse it felt like it completely changed the subject from the girl in another room to her killing herself in a bathroom...it didnt come together that good...

no hate thought, good luck to both
peace

Rules say no votes from The Council
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Old 05-18-05, 04:28 PM   #15
Topical
New to RV
 
IP: CE10 8C0C

sorry to say.....im glad a vote finally came......but it states No Crew Votes (Includes The Establishment and The Council)
sorry again....but rules are rules.....
__________________
Chryme Sindicate

Battles:
vs Limited Edition down 0-1 (topical)
vs CrazyDogg up 3-0 (txt)
 
 


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