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07-07-05, 10:13 PM | #1 | ||||
Flyweight
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Rate this Punchline
IP: EF60 770B
sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. some faggot named Gongshow voted on my battle saying this line made no sense. i wanna hear the opinons of some real hip hop heads.
this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters let me know what ya think
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Battalion For Life Washington Heights Forever Looking for honest votes, will return the favor
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07-07-05, 10:18 PM | #2 | ||||||
hullabaloser
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IP: 3240 794D
I dont get it, but i can see how it would make sense.
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.The Council |
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07-07-05, 10:19 PM | #3 | ||||
GG Haterz
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IP: E573 07DC
I get it. What's the set up line though?
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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07-07-05, 10:34 PM | #4 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: EF60 770B
ya can follow the link in my sig and check it out, and this aint a thread meant to ask you to vote, but i would appreciate it if ya did while you were there. but back to this line. i never though i would have had to explain this to anyone, but im doing just incase
this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters a cock is another word for a rooster in slapboxing, you dont punch, so there arnt "punch" lines so a slapboxing rooster wouldnt have punchlines
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Battalion For Life Washington Heights Forever Looking for honest votes, will return the favor
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07-07-05, 10:35 PM | #5 | |||||
Engineer / Club Promoter
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IP: 86B1 7019
seems like a strech armstrong-sizes reach IMO. Just forced the hell out of it IMO
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I Turn Rappers into Legends Welcome to the Business world. www.soundclick.com/apexx ^Make no mistake about it, the boy is a fuckin BEAST^ The Rush Ent. |
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07-07-05, 10:37 PM | #6 | ||||
Non-Convicted Rapist
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IP: 408F 52FC
makes sense...but i feel like not clicking the link
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07-07-05, 10:37 PM | #7 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: EF60 770B
im sorry, but i dont get what your saying. what do you mean its streched? it flows with the verse, unless you mean somethin diff.
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Battalion For Life Washington Heights Forever Looking for honest votes, will return the favor
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07-07-05, 10:38 PM | #8 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 3240 794D
yea i get it its hot
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07-07-05, 10:39 PM | #9 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: EF60 770B
thank you. oh yeah, just to make this fun, if ya feel like it and you think its a good punchline, pm Gongshow and let him know lol.
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Battalion For Life Washington Heights Forever Looking for honest votes, will return the favor
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07-07-05, 10:48 PM | #10 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 3240 794D
ight fo real u want me to do it
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07-07-05, 10:51 PM | #11 | |||||||
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IP: 7F4E CC2E
It's played anyways..
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07-07-05, 10:52 PM | #12 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: EF60 770B
if ya want to lol. i cant belive that nigga didnt get it! i think that he would feel real stupid if he realized he dont dont know shit about rap
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Battalion For Life Washington Heights Forever Looking for honest votes, will return the favor
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07-07-05, 10:54 PM | #13 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: EF60 770B
what?!?! whatever, i asked for critisim, im getting it. but i made that shit up off the top. thank ya for the input
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Battalion For Life Washington Heights Forever Looking for honest votes, will return the favor
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07-07-05, 10:58 PM | #14 | ||||||
Engineer / Club Promoter
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IP: 86B1 7019
Quote:
I didn't say it was stretched, I said it was a Stretch Armstrong-sized 'reach'. You forced it. You forced that square peg into the round hole that was that line. It jsut didn't fit together and I can't see how anyone woudl think it's "hot". Especially if you gotta explain it. The lines and content should explain themselves or else you didn't build the line properly. Here's some reasons why: "this cock raps without punchlines like slapboxing roosters" First up, roosters don't throw punches - so you coulda easily flipped the line to "This cock packs less punches than two fighting roosters". That line is more usable since it's already know that roosters don't throw punches - so why mention slap boxing? They already exist in the form that you want them to in order for that lien to work. Also, you said "punchlines". You lose it even more when you put that 'line' suffix on 'punch". Just make the meta (which you turned into a similie that I turned BACK into a meta) far more vivid because the words lock perfectly. You bastardized it fomr wordplay to a regular-ass similie. That's why it was a long-ass reach.
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I Turn Rappers into Legends Welcome to the Business world. www.soundclick.com/apexx ^Make no mistake about it, the boy is a fuckin BEAST^ The Rush Ent. |
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07-07-05, 11:02 PM | #15 | ||||
(TeamOne)
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IP: 01EE 735F
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i get it, it was wack tho... wow, dooms explained the whole thing and how it could be better... dooms the rap teacher. LMAO |
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