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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-07-05, 08:50 PM
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#1
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Flyweight
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My Mirror Image
IP: 3E65 4A0F
My Mirror Image
The mirror was reflective of my emotions Pale face, blue lips, fingertips touching devotion. Making motions to recite a letter, written anew, Spoken to few, It’s been hidden from you. Hidden from view, the mirror was only reflective In a defective perspective…I read my objective, “If I could be selective, baby, I’d always do you right, I’d hold your hand in the day, and not just the night. Let’s end the fighting, girl, I never meant to go wrong, I thought we had something special, I even wrote it in song. But yet we don’t get along, it’s the same in your dreams Because you know I’m watching you, even when you sleep.” A sigh of relief fogged the mirror with vapors, As I tossed my poem onto a stack of newspapers. It tapered off as interest in the mirror was created. The pupils beneath my stretched eyelids were dilated. Remained jaded, awaiting to enlighten my girl, Prepared my poem again… For she was my world. I reached for the poem but the news line jolted my spine, “Stalker shot down while out of line on Bryne Drive”. The clock read 10:35, I had heard nothing prior to then. The mirror copied my move and applied lipstick again. Curling my hair with a pen, a nervous wreck… The temp hit the deck as a chill ran down my neck. I needed some comfort, so I got up to leave, “Wait… what the fuck? Oh God, this isn’t me”. I walked down the hall, while looking into the mirror The reflection was clear… I had simply disappeared. I was never a thing to her, just a creep at most… But she’ll always hear my poems… For I am a ghost.
__________________
Spilled Inc.  -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-07-05, 08:57 PM
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#3
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Flyweight
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IP: 3E65 4A0F
__________________
Spilled Inc. -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-07-05, 09:13 PM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP: 79A9 7BA4
this was really good. your flow was basic to the point of poem rather than rap but the story line was solid and the whole mirror thing like is a metaphor for how shes only concerned with herself. i think, nice drop
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07-07-05, 09:17 PM
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#6
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Flyweight
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IP: 3E65 4A0F
lol, ^ close but no.
its about a stalker whos obsessive with this girl, then the girl kills him, and he becomes a ghost. he doesnt realize hes dead, and he sits infront of the mirror reciting a poem he wrote for her. then he sees the headline of "stalker gets shot" and realizes that the mirror image isnt him... its the girl. the girl then walks away and leaves him looking into the mirror, and seeing no reflection...because hes a ghost. ya dig'?
__________________
Spilled Inc. -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-08-05, 12:30 AM
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#7
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: EED8 5A88
ok, i get it now thanks to ^, lol.........this was a good drop, flowed well and vocab was ok, might want to think of audio with this, in some spots there are hints for usin voice effects, but anyway good drop man, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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07-08-05, 04:26 AM
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#8
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New to RV
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IP: DEFD 64E7
a little to deep and out there for my style of rap but i love the vocabulary and rhyme scheme
__________________
"and i dont wanna see none of my people hurt or murdered it aint worth it i cant think of a better way to word it then to just say that i love yall to much to reach the verdict so ima walkaway before it goes any further and no dont get it twisted its not a plea that im coppin im just willin to be the bigger man if yall could quit poppin off at the jaws wit the knockin cuz frankly im sick of talkin and im not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscious" Eminem |
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07-08-05, 01:18 PM
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#9
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Flyweight
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IP: EE34 FF07
thanks still lookin for more feed...................
__________________
Spilled Inc. -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-08-05, 10:20 PM
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#10
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Flyweight
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IP: 3CDD B636
*gets all his posts from upping threads that are slept on*
__________________
Spilled Inc. -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-09-05, 10:14 AM
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#11
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Flyweight
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IP: C859 4D2E
..............................
__________________
Spilled Inc. -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-12-05, 01:16 PM
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#12
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Flyweight
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IP: 9335 1E1A
still lookmin for feedback... and adhearing to the new OM rules:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2285909
__________________
Spilled Inc. -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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07-12-05, 05:24 PM
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#13
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
this was a good drop... it was very creative...good imagery...nice wordplay..and vocab usuage... nice feeling's and emotions going into this drop...i can tell you took time out to do this peice... Overall it was a good drop....nice flow...and good structure... keep it up .. nice job 8/10
__________________
The Competition
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07-12-05, 11:27 PM
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#14
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Soon to be legendary
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IP: 5545 EF20
Very nice drop, felt a poetic vibe comin on
Your very descriptive with words, and i like that......Your scheme was working well, and your choice of vocabulary was superb and excellent...........and advanced lol Overall this was very dope homie, im looking foward to see some more from you, keep it up and never give up `1 check out The Escape |
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