Battle Rules:

10 Lines
Due 30 min. after check in
Blind spit
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting


..checkin' in

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 07-17-05 at 12:24 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

nonchalant has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-14-05 12:25 AM.

Pair-A-Docks has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-14-05 12:25 AM.

Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that...
You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"...
Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell...
I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will...
You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you...
Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview...
You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill...
Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still...
Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel...
How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill!

Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes
He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes'
When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin)
It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks
It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke'
Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats'
I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya
Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza'
To beat me is impossible...like bein' a <b>P</b>ussy-<b>A</b>nd<b>D</b>ick(pair-a-docks)
Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip'
(whip cream)

ya whole verse was nice, but most self glory...good job though....uppin votes

Voted For: nonchalant

Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that...
You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"..
lame.....
Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell...
I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will...
didn't really rhyme but first line was nice
You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you...
Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview...
um...ok i guess
You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill...
Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still...
ok
Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel...
How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill!
ok finisher



breakdown-verse wasn't really all that hittin...punches seem like they were thrown by a drunk dude how badly they missed...but it was ok for a newbie



Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes
He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes'
nice
When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin)
It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks
ehhhh.haha
It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke'
Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats'
ok...could have been harder
I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya
Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza'
haha...ok
To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick(pair-a-docks)
Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip'



Breakdown-nice verse...you got some real potential....nice punches nice play on his name too....could have used a lil more complexity to spice it up but your verse overal was pretty goood

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uppin' for votes...

Voted For: Pair-A-Docks

good verse...flow,wordplay an rhyme scheme keep it up

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uppin' for votes...

Voted For: nonchalant

Pair-A-Docks [u]
Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that...
You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"...
Rhymed that and that. Bad punch with ass like dat, decent concept though.
Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell...
I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will...
Forced rhyme. No punch, just saying you doubt he will win.
You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you...
Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview...
Bad punch honestly. Set up wasn't great either.
You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill...
Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still...
First real punch I've seen. Kinda played though.
Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel...
How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill!
Decent closer.

Overall, I see the potential, but you need to work on your wording because it keeps making your punches mere statements then a personal. Similies are bad as well. I liked some of your concepts though.

[u]nonchalant
Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes
He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes'
Decent punch. Bad filler though.
When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin)
It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks
Take out his name and would have flowed better. Ok punch, not that great.
It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke'
Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats'
No. Bad punch.
I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya
Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza'
Dissed yourself a bit here.
To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick
Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip'
No. Bad punch again. Decent wordplay.

Overall the potential is here as well, but you need to work on your wording and punches. They are weak, and every now and then you have a filler. I liked some of your punches.

My vote goes to nonchalant for punches. His wordplay helped a little, but his punches hit harder in my opinion.

v-nonchalant

__________________

Damn it, the structure messed up. Do you all care?

__________________

Voted For: Pair-A-Docks

Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes
He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes'
aight
When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin)
It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks
nice
It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke'
Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats'
played
I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya
Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza'
weak
To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick(pair-a-docks)
Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip'
(whip cream)
played but ok
5/10
Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that...
You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"...
weak
Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell...
I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will...
weak
You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you...
Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview...
ok
You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill...
Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still...
nice!
Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel...
How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill!
nice
6/10

it was a preety weak battle but i like pair-a-docks verse better and he had better structure wich won my voe cause it was a close battle

R/F or the vote will be removed

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=199762

uppin' for votes