This started off pretty hurt-sack. The first verse gave me the impression this would be wack as shit, but you did a great job pulling it together.

-Excellent structure and syllable count in the piece, really made it flow smooth.
-More multies and internals would have been plenty beneficial.
-Great use of emotion, decent imagery.
-Great finishing line, closed off the piece beautifully.
-Fix up the first couple bars and this will help the piece along greatly

Word.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202243

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