Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
11-27-05, 05:42 PM | #1 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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If Tonight's The Night
IP: 5218 F156
If tonight’s the night, I roll in the casket
Party for to my life, don’t morn and look past it I was rollin dumb and not givin’ a fuck Was thrown out the cradle and into the mud Let the petals thrown by pharaohs be settled on my grave Rebels be named, settlers that helped render this game Because I’ll reach Lucifer, crucified and through the eyes Of those who died cruel and derived of values and pride Statues of guys that severed this man like a reverend that stands Rigged and strict, got me fitted to spit…a heaven in land Cause I’ll place my name on the stone, slave to the throne Bathed in a foam that’s got me twitching, an ache to the bones I can notice the road is focused on my potential No credentials, but a man to stand who holds life’s essentials Cause if the end is near, don’t the fear to drop a tear But rejoice in the voice that held up for all those years If tonight’s the night, I roll in the casket Party for to my life, don’t morn and look past it I was rollin dumb and not givin’ a fuck Was thrown out the cradle and into the mud I’m placed in a nice suit, surrounded by a group…of people I must walk through the valley of death, but shall fear no evil Since a sequel is out the question so I’m wreckin this session I rest to infest in the ears of the kids who take in this message And the vessel I wrestle to be in is seeing another direction A human being who wishin not to fall in the devils intentions Settle this tension for blood spills once I fill my grave It’s like I’m hangin as a picture for evil to penetrate my frame Hence, it gains no fame, for the decomposed role models Who choke hollows, so tomorrow lies for another to go follow If tonight’s the night, I roll in the casket Party for to my life, don’t morn and look past it I was rollin dumb and not givin’ a fuck Was thrown out the cradle and into the mud i'll drop my links next |
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11-27-05, 07:37 PM | #2 | ||||
leave you rest'n pz's
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IP: 34E4 9FE7
your first couple bars flowed very well....i was feelin them
more then the rest, decent concept, the hook was pretty good vocab was decent, the ache to the bones line fell off on flow but other then that it was`well worded... improve on: connectin with the reader, maybe try to use more metas even wordplay is good in open mics imo.. overall this was a good piece.. 7/10
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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts what the fuck, was you high..? did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...! . . fake fucks..move on...! |
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11-27-05, 10:17 PM | #3 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5218 F156
thanks for the feedback bro........
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12-05-05, 10:18 AM | #4 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 1FB2 546D
uppin this thread
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12-07-05, 03:29 PM | #5 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: DA08 DCF2
uppin this thread
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12-07-05, 04:03 PM | #6 | ||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: C40A 7675
Ok better than i expected, flowed nicely to point of no return imo
I can notice the road is focused on my potential No credentials, but a man to stand who holds life’s essentials that was cool It’s like I’m hangin as a picture for evil to penetrate my frame Nice It was worded nicely too could of been worded nicer but still Content wise was cool need some more meta's in there though This is the sort of piece u need lines to really make the reader think But yeah interesting read respect http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2566854 Return the feed please |
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12-07-05, 06:53 PM | #8 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 7812 DAB6
Nice Drop.......
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[CENTER]~WAR leaves RAW consequences~ Open Mics
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12-07-05, 07:14 PM | #9 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 7812 DAB6
Try to give me some good criticism....other than that then don't give me advice [goes to madik]
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