100 lines but worth the read



A dark day in Bradford, December 21st…8:26 am


Morning rays of sunlight exposing his mourn for days
Mentally torn…closing his eyes briefly in the daunting haze
Alone he waits at the bus stop - and through his hassles time ticks
A fast car representing life…the way it passes by quick
But can take different routes, like when deep pain starts to set in
Alive with a dead heart, the bus arrives and Mark steps in…

He can see the distinct faces slowly staring him down
It was eerie, Mark finds a seat there was barely a sound
But still despair was around so, he wished he would see light
Exhaling on the window but wishing he could breathe life
With the tip of his finger, he begins to instantly inscribe
The letters of WHY the touch stinging, thinking in his mind
Why did his father pass away, why was his life stolen
Why was he on that day the one doomed to be chosen?
Mark was lonely, releasing sorrow in each of his breaths
A young mind in turmoil, he whispered
‘What is the meaning of death’…

No one heard, but places like this is where he belonged at home
So he repeated the phrase, but in a much stronger tone
Like he awaited an answer…he knew life was no game
He felt a touch on the shoulder and heard
‘Son, are you okay?’…


This man was a stranger still Mark wished to converse with him
Explaining he would rather die…for it was worse living
For his father died recently, and not peacefully
Mark just could not accept how he could lose him so easily
This man named Malik listened attentively, then to speak
Giving advice, but Mark replied that he was life’s enemy
Then he said, repeating what he was seeking in his mind

‘What is the meaning of death?’

Receiving his reply…

‘I can see the pain your going through, being lonely too
But death is not a simple matter, even if you know the truth
Would it soothe, or in anyway affect your reality
Just think son…but I do understand your mentality’

Mark paused for a moment as the words sunk in painfully
Till a sudden burst he shouted…

‘Fuckin explain to me….’
The man now knew Mark needed help for he was worsening
But he thought of something that would be of worth to him….

‘Life is cruel; we all die one day and cannot prevent it
And no day is promised…just the day it will be ended
Could even be now…we all speak and death is known to hush
The effects of it are clear when we lose someone close to us
But it can show what respect and love is in us all, see…
If someone died…there would be no other chance to say sorry…’

Mark took heed, for now the message was not failing to send
But he questioned him again…

‘Is death really the end?’

‘Son, you see death is part of a much larger scope, life
Maybe the final part, but for many not all hope dies
They believe the next chapter lies all in an afterlife
Many look forward to that…and with a real appetite
But we do know when it grips, we will never know
Life is a short journey…death will seize you on that very road’

‘That very road…’ Mark spoke, ‘you know I feel so hopeless and dark’
Silenced…see those were the last words ever spoken by Mark….
And when he turned to him, the man was no longer there…
So he looked around…no one was…they had just gone somewhere….

Disappeared…Mark began to shake as he silently stared
Worried in confusion…see not even the driver was there
He started to panic, could not even see a reason…
To it all…scared, he could not believe what he was seeing
Just then he realised he was in danger of dieing
See the bus was still travelling and that just horrified him
He had to save his life, get up…make the bus stop too
So Mark tried to stand up…but failed, he could not move…

Confined to his seat, Mark saw clearly through his blackened eyes
But he could not even utter a word, and sat paralysed
Accepted what came, his hope faded as the sky darkened
His soul felt unjustly pierced…and he was never armoured
Never prepared, so what was he just made to witness…
His eyes wide open, his desperate screams made no difference
Overwhelmed by this power, as the truth went gradually in
And it went pitch-black…but why was all this happening to him….

WHY….

So the bus hit a tree, swerved with speed till it overturned
The impact was enough, so any little hope was burned
Mark was a good child, had never done wrong in his life
But the truth hit hard….
Mark, was no longer alive….
……………………….
……………………….
Though at 8:46 it only took seconds to end his life
The message of this story will remain and never die…
……………………….
Never die….

The bus symbolized life, with no warnings or shots in the air
He screamed, but when he most needed help…nobody was there
And that is life, though we all have something to call a home
And we see many people…but in the end we are all alone
Just like he was…so we fight until our soul will give
And life is just like that crashing bus…we have no control of it
The case remained unsolved, still missing in history…
Then again it links back to life…see it was all a mystery

Just a mystery….

And anyone who knows about it, will never speak of it
But this story has a chilling message…if you reach for it
It has many; see I was the man who was teaching him
And in fact you are all Marks that could die after reading this
And your buses will crash too, who knows when it will be
WHY…. that word remains on every bus for many to see…
But discussing death further is pointless and barren
See through those unclear windows…all became apparent

Death gave the answer; its mere purpose is to terminate life
And to that…as Mark found out…

There is no reply…



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=218776
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219058

Uppin...read this shit and leave feedback

holy fuck thats long. reading it now though.

you better gdamn return the favor like 5x haha. give me a bit to read...

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Blow It - Topical

No feedback on this?

Shit, it doesnt even take THAT long to read people....

Oh shit I forgot I said I would haha. Doing it now.

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Blow It - Topical

Dope as fuck.

Excellant concept, story telling, imagery and emotion. Vocab was nice too. I do think if you included a bit more internal rhymes it would have been even better though. This is one oif the better pieces i've read on the OM forum in along while, the best in a good 2-3 months easily.

Long, yes, worth the read? Fuck yah. The message you sent was vivd, very well explained and easily understood. Good for most the heads on RV... they don't decipher shit.

Exceptional drop man, though I know you're not a regular here, I would encourage you to be. Would make a nice addition to the scene.

Peace.

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Blow It - Topical

lol, the time in the topical is 20 min n it took me just as long to read

you do a good job settin the scene and the characters, by the end i know exactly what Mark is like, lots of emotion and then you tie it all together at the end, and give the whole thing meaning
only thing i dont like is how you worded the last part sounded like you were basically explaining the rest of the piece... which you were, and it was good you did cause no one would see a lot of that, but u shoulda worded it differently then "the bus symbloizes..."

VERY good drop, better than most of what i've read on this site

RTF to my OM, http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219595

Finally....

Appreciate the in depth feedback...and Mentalz thanks nominating this piece bro

I will try returning the feedback if I find time tomorrow

whoa dude, this is extremely overlooked....probly because people are too lazy to read it all, but yeah, this was awesome....the vivid storytelling was amazing, the message hit very well and it just provokes every thought you have about life and death, it was awesome man, i love this piece, very well done....i would quote lines, but there were alot i liked, it was simple, yet effective, like, the way to told the story, was how you made it work so well.....very well done, this was awesome....good read....oh, and join OG

and rtf, or something

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Good lookin Drakel

And I appreciate the detailed feedback....as for joining your crew, since I am not that active on this site there is no real point

Uppin for more feedback

Stop sleeping on this mans piece.

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Blow It - Topical

Woah homie... this was long as fuck but dope i was really feeling this!..your stroy telling was dope i was really feeling the emotions and feeling that you put into this peice..you had nice wordplay and very good vocab ...You had a very creative point of view in life or death..and i was really feeling it nice job homie..keep it up.

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Thanks for taking the time to read it....^^^