Elevate my voice till its louder than thundering in air
never hesitate with choices i wonder if any care
i sundered in the stares like a kid's kaleidoscope
ive survived by gloat but i'll die when i collide with hope
hopefully i'll continue to float with no fear in my look
keep making good stories it sounds......................
................like i stole Shakepeare's one rhyme book
my tears leave time shook im so tense im a sprinter
too dense for ya'll im sticking to this like splinters
man its rough and cold and a must to stay tough and bold
was cuffed and told that i'll never do so now i buff and mold
training my mind straining my time to increase my words
pain is my sign etched in brain and it never ceased to be heard
birds are free with peace i'll be like them one day
to see at least something of importance is pure gold to me
like treasure if any measure hits i'll cheish it never to be sold for free
im gonna be going fast as i can like cars doing a buck fourty
my dark story wont be gory man i know this is for me


With a strong burst im gonna be quick to bomb first
taking out competition no need for petitions i got a long herse
above the worst loving to curse heres another nightmare
when my sights paired straight they tremble cause my fights scare
they not prepared for me and my exceptional abilities
no one cared so i'll probably end up in correctional facilities
protect your own utility thats gonna change my life
you'll see me round nothing gonna bring me down in deranged strife
the lane changes everyday so i'll take it one day at a time
make it quick to be done you do whats yours and i'll do whats mine
my crimes evolved becoming more elaborate but never completed
it doenst bother me im gonna go at it properly and defeat it
up and over the shit nothing will be able to stop me
no cable will lock me you cant knock my hustle theres no copy
just try to rock me im heavily ready with a spark to vibe
its rough staying alive going through life dark but i gotta survive

Feeling like i got "Po Nigga Blues" confused like i cant figure clues
no soothing for me cause life's giving me a bigger bruise
i try to cruis but questions in my mind are saying if i die tonight
what would i do cause theres no gliding right or riding light
just hold tight for this rough ride around the corners theres light for souls
if i dont find it i cant stress my mind cause thats the best of time
gotta go forward dont wanna be in back like the rest in line
gaining confidence along the way each day gives me spirit
when i spit you hear it ya'll behind me like i stared thru my rearview
u think i care well i dont need to i just gotta do what i do
fools trying to block and lock while im 'cool' staying 'hot'
i cant stop cause the worl around me is getting colder
now i have to get bolder like atlas................................
.........................................i got the world on my shoulders
im a soldier maybe i'll stay heartless to get through darkness
at the end i'll try and spark this to be so live
ive cried felt like ive died but thats life and i gotta survive

The structure's messed up, i kno. I just found this in one of my rhyme books and decided to post it.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2666884

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222834

hey that was dope dawg keep it up elevating a must and you i don't think can elevate much more than you already have 9/10 keep it up 1 love

thanks........uppin

nice shit homie, good vocab, nicely structured and a good flow. the multies really helped out the flow as well homie, nice drop

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nice drop, i see you focus for this one, alot of good flow, a couple of nice bars couple of multis that made this a hella read im likeing this alot holla

RTF i got 3 drops tat need feed back

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NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!!

Yea i try and focus, thanks man uppin for more feed

uppin for more feed, i'll rtf

Hey JuSt Dropping Feed:

Overall, i really enjoyed ya piece, especially if i can sit and rap it, and get the vibe i know its hot....Ya Structure was banging, and i can tell u put a lot of heart and depth into this piece....my favorite line was:

"up and over the shit nothing will be able to stop me
no cable will lock me you cant knock my hustle theres no copy"

i never heard no shyt like that, very nICE..ha..

Ya last verse, it seem as if u was just hurry up to finish it or something, like you aint put into it as much as ya first too...but it was steal decent...

Keep Droppin and u will soon see a fan in me...YUP!

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~*~ Open Micz In Need of Feed~*~
Tashay n BonaFide Collab FreeStyle..

I LaunCh RoCketz Da Size Of CoCk Pitz../LyRiCists only "Cum QuiCk" with a "DilDo" and a Sex "FliCk"..//

Thanks for the feed uppin for more.

truely enjoyed this shit. u was like 100% focused on this and didnt leave it till it was done.
flow was good. had lots of multies and mixed very well. and had a constante sturcture. so im given this a 9.5 out of 10 (minus 0.5 cus it was long and i was lazy so i took me 4 eva 2 read.)
keep it up kidd.

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.

Overall an okay piece. I get the message and the overall vibe of it which is a good thing. I think the rhyme was pretty good and flowed well throughout. Structure isnt as bad as you think it is. ONE MAJOR GRIPE, very played topic, Iunno so many people talk about surviving and just dealing with the hand your dealt.

Thanks for the feed man