|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-25-06, 04:17 PM
|
#1
|
|||||
|
Light Weight
|
I'm a Writer
IP: E1C5 C42E
I'm a Writer
I'm a writer; my thoughts are a swirling ambience I write lots of whirling happiness to avoid a moving ambulance I try too much, to be right and avoid the wrong But stories are told in forms of grace, not song Sometimes I write on a cold and dampened night So the page ripples as the tears hamper my blurry sight I'm a shallow being, scared of the future and what my destiny holds It's like God gave me the tools, all I need is a mould I’ll take what I have, my present, my past And use it to reshape my future with a pen and a pad Line after line, use the emotions to guide me But if I speak from my heart then the words stay inside me So I open my mouth, after I’ve taken a minute or two Just to jot down some lines and think things through Learn to say what I think, without breaking the rapture Because I’ll know when I go, that these moments were captured. N.Stant. - Catching Tears .. Introspection - Malnourished
__________________
Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? Last edited by I Am Unreal. : 04-26-06 at 10:52 PM. |
|||||
|
|
04-25-06, 06:31 PM
|
#2
|
||||
|
IP: 5B30 0354
Drop two links or this will be closed
__________________
The Competition
 |
||||
 
|
|
|
04-25-06, 06:54 PM
|
#3
|
||||||
|
Above Originality
|
IP: 9465 0DDF
^^word drop two links!
malice wats good! anyweays I AM nice vocab and imagery! I’ll take what I have, my present, my past And use it to reshape my future with a pen and a pad Line after line, use the emotions to guide me But if I speak from my heart then the words stay inside me So I open my mouth, after I’ve taken a minute or two Just to jot down some lines and think things through ^^my favorite lines! nice man RTF on the ones in my SIG!
__________________
Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
||||||
|
|
|
|
04-26-06, 03:42 PM
|
#4
|
|||||
|
Light Weight
|
IP: 58A1 E892
done and done..
__________________
Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
|||||
|
|
|
04-26-06, 09:07 PM
|
#5
|
||||||
|
New to RV
|
IP: 2029 97B3
vocab was good, the length seemed right and you really didn't even need to throw multies to keep it interesting cuz your word play took care of that
"Line after line, use the emotions to guide me But if I speak from my heart then the words stay inside me" nice play on words "Learn to say what I think, without breaking the rapture Because I’ll know when I go, that these moments were captured" good way to end it, makes everything come together yup you are a writer! BTW My first drop`s linked in my sig im still tryna get sum feed. rtf and return the favor aight? stay up
__________________
ASSIMILATED CONCEPTZ |
||||||
|
|
|
04-27-06, 12:37 PM
|
#6
|
|||||||
|
New to RV
|
IP: A1F4 7B78
even though it lacked multies....it was a realli gd drop...the complexity and flow was on point nd ur vocab was mint
8.8/10 |
|||||||
|
|
|
04-28-06, 10:00 PM
|
#7
|
|||||||
|
Middle Weight
|
IP: 324E AE4C
good shit... it really flows... I can hear it being said in my head as I read and it never skips a beat or veers off topic... Short simple and sweet, and a good read...
|
|||||||
|
|
|
05-02-06, 08:27 PM
|
#8
|
|||||
|
Light Weight
|
IP: E056 3770
thanks bro............
__________________
Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
|||||
|
|
|
05-02-06, 09:06 PM
|
#9
|
||||
|
-da prophit-
|
IP: CF86 0039
good shit.... u had some powerfull lines inthere all favorite is this bar.
I’ll take what I have, my present, my past And use it to reshape my future with a pen and a pad pretty nice, u had lots of imagry and nice vocab plus it had a good flow and structure. really good kidd, keep it up!
__________________
im so ill that cancer thinks im its father. |
||||
|
|
|
|
05-04-06, 01:00 AM
|
#10
|
||||
|
oh yea?
|
IP: 9383 96F6
not bad man
had some cool lines in there short and sweet, cool flow and aight rhyme scheme keep up the good work son "Line after line, use the emotions to guide me But if I speak from my heart then the words stay inside me So I open my mouth, after I’ve taken a minute or two Just to jot down some lines and think things through Learn to say what I think, without breaking the rapture Because I’ll know when I go, that these moments were captured." ^word
__________________
AIM = David Lama says
|
||||
|
|
|
|
05-04-06, 06:19 PM
|
#11
|
||||||
|
I beat bitches up
|
IP: F1FE FCAA
It was str8. had a lot of good vocab and emotion. u got ur point accross in a smooth manner. structure was good and so was the flow. most of it after the 4th line began to get deep. thats when it really picked up. good shit. 8/10
__________________
Quote:
|
||||||
|
|
|
05-04-06, 07:11 PM
|
#12
|
||||
|
Middle Weight
|
IP: 731E C69D
I like I like....very nice....nice wording...my only think is that i wish it was a little longer...but other than that....8/10....keep doin ya thang boo....
__________________
 It's hard being beautiful but some one has to do it  |
||||
|
|
|
|
05-09-06, 11:36 PM
|
#13
|
||||
|
New to RV
|
IP: F79E D621
this was hot. i enjoyed reading from start to finish.
flow - perfect multis - decent metas/similes - decent content - original I’ll take what I have, my present, my past And use it to reshape my future with a pen and a pad ^^^^^^^^i liked these a lot overall, dope. i wanna read more.
__________________
..::You couldn't touch my SkyLL if i wrote lines on my palm and placed my hand on you::..
Battle Wreckord
33-2
.:::~*!*~Line Of Tha Century~*!*~:::...
^-=!~I was checkin' my *reflection*, i'm just as *dope* as *coke on mirrorz*~!=-^ |
||||
|
|
|
05-15-06, 02:30 PM
|
#14
|
|||||
|
Black Poet
|
IP: F17F 09D9
I'm a writer; my thoughts are a swirling ambience
I write lots of whirling happiness to avoid a moving ambulance I try too much, to be right and avoid the wrong But stories are told in forms of grace, not song **Well dope opener fams,. nice flow and vocab*** Sometimes I write on a cold and dampened night So the page ripples as the tears hamper my blurry sight I'm a shallow being, scared of the future and what my destiny holds It's like God gave me the tools, all I need is a mould ***Dope flow and the vocab was godly*** I’ll take what I have, my present, my past And use it to reshape my future with a pen and a pad Line after line, use the emotions to guide me But if I speak from my heart then the words stay inside me ***Nice fams *** Line after line, use the emotions to guide me But if I speak from my heart then the words stay inside me So I open my mouth, after I’ve taken a minute or two Just to jot down some lines and think things through Learn to say what I think, without breaking the rapture Because I’ll know when I go, that these moments were captured. ***Nice flow and vocab really good flow fams !! Overall this was a really dope verse keep em coming. 1~ |
|||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
