Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
06-16-06, 12:11 AM | #1 | ||||
Jack The Ripper
|
When I grow up
IP: 9D21 DBB5
When I grow up
When I grow up I want to be a spic, nigger, kike, jew, wop, kraut, honkey, white trash, trailor trash, monkey, hippie, Nazi, KKK, Black Panther, crip, blood, gang member, greedy, selfish, money making, poor, healthy, lazy, sweaty, hairy, masculine, feminine, quirky new waver, extremist, right wing, left wing, chicken wing, chicken shit, ass kicking, dumb fuck, nuclear physicist, alcoholics anonymous counselor, drunk, psychiatrist, journalist, stink fist, romance novelist, racist, chauvinist, prejudice, sexist, feminist, lesbian, dike, gay, queer, faggot, homosexual, homo-erotic, homophobic, heterophobic, heterosexual, transexual, transvestite, cross dressing, well dressed, bitch, bastard, ugly, beautiful, crippled, junkie, HIV positive, hermaphradite, obese, anorexic, bulimic, king, queen, jester, president, world leader, a lap dog that bites the hand that feeds him, pawn broker, stock broker, pot smoker, (all is swell, less is more, God is gay, harpoon a catch) religious, athiest, stuffy, cranky, middle-aged, mid-life crisis suffering, bitter, little, big, old, young, scrawny, muscular, sensitive, vain, self-concious, self-centered, opinionated, arogant, minority, majority, booking agent and editor of a fanzine that segregates the the small percent into an even smaller percent, keep them divided, ghettoize, united we stand, united we fall, do not respect others sensitivities, kill yourself, now, kill yourself, kill, kill, kill, killer, murderor, die, rape, rape, rape, rape, kill, i'm bad, i'm bad, i'm bad, i'm... good. - Mr. Jack The Ripper
__________________
It's JTR, lyrical art
The towers aren't still standing but the pyramids are... Last edited by JTR : 06-16-06 at 01:30 PM. |
||||
06-16-06, 01:24 AM | #2 | ||||||||
Zar Bi-Shup
|
IP: 4312 793E
Wow...
Thats all I can say... Well... can you tell my retarded vocabulary what "hermaphradite" is? I've heard it b4 just... I'm a retard... :P
__________________
Quote:
|
||||||||
06-16-06, 01:26 AM | #3 | ||||||||
Zar Bi-Shup
|
IP: 4312 793E
Oops... you didn't drop links.
ME: Dedede!
__________________
Quote:
|
||||||||
06-16-06, 01:37 AM | #4 | ||||
Jack The Ripper
|
IP: 9D21 DBB5
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2770951
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=229620
__________________
It's JTR, lyrical art
The towers aren't still standing but the pyramids are... Last edited by JTR : 06-16-06 at 02:05 AM. |
||||
06-16-06, 02:10 AM | #5 | ||||
Jack The Ripper
|
IP: 9D21 DBB5
Bishop, please leave me alone...
__________________
It's JTR, lyrical art
The towers aren't still standing but the pyramids are... |
||||
06-16-06, 03:13 PM | #6 | |||
1926
|
IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Haha, shooting for a nerve ay?
I can definately understand what you wanted to accomplish with this piece, pure unadulterated shock value. I mean, on a superficial level you clearly achieved that goal, but on the other hand you leave a more intellectual reader thinking that you were running short on literary techniques. The contrasting slers were interesting, it could work anyway, one being that you were expressing an obtuse hate for everyone... But for me the subject matters oposition worked negatively(not the good kind) for you. I feel like if you picked one, catagory of individuals to really attack with more than just obesnity than the piece would have read alot stronger. To me, obsenity is nothing more than a word, it really pacts no true punch for me as a reader, but had you used sentances and lines that really ripped apart this group of people you could have been alot more offensive. I've written pieces that are meant to be obsene, yet that have minimal swearing, and the shock is in the approach of the topic and in the subject matter of the lines. So, this piece battles itself because a new reader taking a glance along superficial value would easily pick up the obsene objectivity of the piece yet they probally wouldnt see the great goal of the poem... And a more advanced reader really isn't going to find a simple word to be offensive in any way, because it's the delivery of a word that makes it offensive or acceptable, not nessisarily the word itself. Glad to see you back and writing though man. |
|||
06-16-06, 03:44 PM | #7 | ||||
Jack The Ripper
|
IP: 9D21 DBB5
k, thanx, I was really trying something new here, I guess it didn't really work. Aw well.
I know what this piece of works means to me, but it's one of those kinds of poems that you're not supposed to understand, and you have to take it however you want to take it, it can mean anything. And it wasn't just to be obsene and shock, there was some meaning behind it, but I guess I didn't express it clear enough, Oh well, first and last time I try something like this anyway, I just wanted to experimant, lol
__________________
It's JTR, lyrical art
The towers aren't still standing but the pyramids are... |
||||
06-16-06, 04:30 PM | #8 | |||
1926
|
IP: 0825 899A
Lol, you get brownies points for stepping outside the box
+5 |
|||
06-17-06, 01:12 AM | #9 | ||||
Jack The Ripper
|
IP: 9D21 DBB5
woooooot, that means I win!
__________________
It's JTR, lyrical art
The towers aren't still standing but the pyramids are... |
||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|