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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-05-06, 03:10 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Come Back
IP: F6BF B7AB
My mind aches each line breaks it sparks flames my charm aims holding you tight my arm pains the whispers is all i have left, enough to remind me a sign seeks, how i use to kiss your right cheek missing you all night, where does my love sleep just thinking of your name, makes me feel lovely if i just had you i wouldnt need nothing beside me with a kiss you made me feel harmony inside see think about it before you unpack your dresser drawer one chance is all i want before you exit the door Baby come back, i just need you right next to me Baby come back, my mind grips, your lips it's sexy Baby come back, i just want another chance Baby come back to me, for one more dance see each girl has a mind but yours move me when you kiss me and hug me in school see, i've bin with other chicks but none like you and never found the one, the one quite true on the fone til late, silence d by you laughter sometimes argued but always made up after talking about thing i want to do to you mama and the way you giggled when calling me papa i feel like malino with a one more chance song cause the bond we shared made love so strong Baby come back, i just need you right next to me Baby come back, my mind grips, your lips it's sexy Baby come back, i just want another chance Baby come back to me, for one more dance this song is dedicated to my one love charlenne also coming in audio soon check that out http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2812155 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2812158
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Moment Notice Music
^Coming Soon^ |
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08-06-06, 05:20 PM
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#2
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
this is a good read.
have some cool mutlis in it, and structures sitting ok. One thing I feel you could fo upp'd is vocab, which will nautrally add a bit more emotion into it. But yeh, i liked it. stay dropping. PS. old rv head returned? or simply new member? |
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08-06-06, 08:07 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: 4FDA E3FC
read your pm's yo you'll see
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Moment Notice Music
^Coming Soon^ |
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08-07-06, 03:54 AM
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#4
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Above Originality
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IP: D40E 67D5
Baby come back, i just need you right next to me
Baby come back, my mind grips, your lips it's sexy Baby come back, i just want another chance Baby come back to me, for one more dance see each girl has a mind but yours move me when you kiss me and hug me in school see, i've bin with other chicks but none like you and never found the one, the one quite true on the fone til late, silence d by you laughter sometimes argued but always made up after talking about thing i want to do to you mama and the way you giggled when calling me papa i feel like malino with a one more chance song cause the bond we shared made love so strong Baby come back, i just need you right next to me Baby come back, my mind grips, your lips it's sexy Baby come back, i just want another chance Baby come back to me, for one more dance this was kinda played off the topic buit this was nice i liked the writing and choice of diction and wordings my dude!...nice metas and ish man keep writing i see potential but work on complexity you came a little simple in this but nice overall!
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Chryme Syndicate
-Chalkin' Up Your Future |
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