AK47 make ya whole block num
im workin big chips yeen workin wit nun
my weed make a smart nicca go dumb
i kno bout nines n shiit cuse i got me one
yeen bout throwin da handZ
mo like bitch talkin
den runnin 2 ya momma crib
cuse u kno how my hood do
on da low low but stil doin it googa loo
u wanna battle dude ima hurt chu
mo den a virgin loosen day virginty foo
fuckin wit me everyone u kno n sorrow
hope u go 2 heaven cuse u wont live 2 see tomorrow
ull be six feet deep wit 2 shots da head n a hungry head n ya kidney
homeboi i dont care how u tote ya shiit
cuse i got a lot of hatas on my cock like o bitch
den ya best friend thankin he want da beef
put ya n saran wrap so my dog hav sumtin to eat
i got a whole state ride wit me
so if u want drama we can go 2 war like USA n dem iragese
im down for a 187 2 mac 11s 3 full clips
n a whole lot of chips
yes i grip nines u shood kno bout me
ima hustla ask about ask about me

It's not bad I guess, kind of lost you on a few bits,

**Opener was ok, it flowed, not much word play or multies,. just lacking
a little complexity but it will come in time**

AK47 make ya whole block num
im workin big chips yeen workin wit nun
why i dont kno u shood ask ya son
i kno bout nines n shiit cuse i got me one

***Don't know what is it, it don't rhyme or nothing*****

yeen bout throwin da handZ
mo like bitch talkin
den runnin 2 ya momma crib

*** this was good, could up vocab a little & spell word correctly
no hate by the way***

cuse u kno how my hood do
on da low low but stil doin it googa loo
u wanna battle dude ima hurt chu
mo den a virgin loosen day virginty foo

Anyway this was alright, keep writing stay active and holla at me if you need
any help elevating.

1~

DROP TWO LINKS !!!!! OR THIS WILL GET CLOSE ***********

u had alot of of average bars noting to complex or anything just basic flow was aight as-well, am not into that vocab shit so that was good to me but u had no real punches or noting like that if u gonna spit raw get into it dont let it brake ya head into thinking what u should put just let it flow but this was aight for u'r first drop like poet said it will come in due time an its not a hate just helping so keep droping..........

__________________
NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!!

this was written like you was high when you was writing it

nigga your the type of nigga that people tell to STAY IN SCHOOl
but anyway ya verse seems like it would sound better in audio at some parts

but keep doing you cause their is always going to be haters but that should motivate you and listen to what the haters say cause good or bad critism should only make you better