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03-19-03, 10:31 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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individual riot
IP: B20F 67F7
bleh... felt like keying something... yeah... its about a guy who can't say shit for himself... but ends up making a difference in the world -edited in-
sitting on the toilet-he's joyous, the king of his words-nobody's annoying| his life's spite is boyant, a dead-end job and no enjoyment| a robot to employment-till one day, his therapist suggests medication| so he starts off swallowin' and experiences head-spins| instead of hatin' he hides his anger inside of a basement| his only best friends are the bare walls and displacement| its been a week now and death is what the pills are craving| they thin his veins and make him feel the pain of hatred| the world's reality pushes him... so he loses his patience| fresh outta pills and light bulbs, his mind is vacant| he grabs a gun and shakes it but the tv screen doesn't flinch| getting mad is all he can do, so he screams "you fucking bitch!"| the sparks fly and singe the curtins, he laughs and grins| he leaves his apartment burning, the streets spin as people stare| he swings the gun in the air and goes insane on 9th and philip ave.| he kills a mother with a stroller and claims he didn't care| .................................................. ........................................| a few years later he doesn't work the crappy job but became a author| the shit i just rhymed was a novel he wrote, the pills gave him the offer| stay tuned for the next issue "cruel vicadin and the meat locker"| yeah, it sucks, so what, i was bored |
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03-20-03, 01:51 AM | #2 | |||||||
..terror walks again..
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
whats up the other half. i was feelin this till u rushed your ending. c'mon now how do kill sum1 with a stroller. so untill the cruel vicadin and the meat locker part duce is coming out, know this is the terrible dooce signing out
peace
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the one that watches the watchmen: |
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03-20-03, 03:25 AM | #3 | |||||||
one wink
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IP: D27D 0B18
welll....mos def not your best.
I must say it was rather original. But, come on dog, your better then this, you gotta get yaself back, it will happen, you just gotta let it. |
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03-20-03, 07:42 AM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 35A1 0D66
hey dogg it was good with origininality but no real 'flaring' in your endin dogg.. but still vocab was good and flow aight
keep spittin though peace out... |
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03-20-03, 08:23 AM | #5 | |||||||
The Golden Chyld
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IP: E716 7F87
This was nice for a key....I know U can do better....But like U said it was a key....Not meant to come out hot....I do that shit so I feel U....But get at me on PM....Peace
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03-20-03, 10:07 AM | #6 | |||||||
Got More Meds Than Pfizer
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IP: 144A ADA4
It was a'ight... still not the best shit i've seen, but for a key it was pretty hype.. followed a story and shit, flowed pretty nicely.. yea uppin' yo..
could u check one of mine...
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Authentik Intelligence
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03-20-03, 08:46 PM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B20F 67F7
joey... dude... where did i kill a someone with a stroller... i'm sayin' the gun went off and killed a mother with her baby IN the stroller... anyway... i ain't stressin' that this was wack, but yeah, i was just messin' around with words as a key... replies were appreciated...
peace |
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03-20-03, 11:54 PM | #8 | ||||||||
.-.Marxism.-.
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IP: C390 5181
not much else i can say that anyone else hasnt already said.... except!
Quote:
^^^ that was cool... keep rhymin |
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