ok so i jack a wildchild beat and come up with this
here are the lyrics followed by a link(s) to the audio
this was a fun little rip i wrote to test out my new mic
hit me up with your thoughts
i wasnt going for like incredible depth or mad wordplay
just a nice flow so dont get all gay about it.

Show time

Lost at sea, I’ve come to see the real me
Welcome to this deranged state of reality
has me tied down to the earth when I’m reaching for the stars
Breaking free from my shell to only see the other walls
That surround this sound sending me homeward bound
Only to loose the respect that I never really found

And it has to be now because I’m not down with never
Always trying to jump me thinking that I cant be clever
Forced to sever ties when lies shut out the lights
Forced to send others to sleep consequence of stupid fights
Despite what I may write and proclaim within a story
I’m still the same kid when I wake up in the morning
And It’s conforming to the norm that scares me half the time
that’s why I battled for perfection in the words of written rhyme
And at times I may loose, down but never for the count
Its coming back to show the world exactly what I’m all about
To alleviate the doubt when I’m dealing with the devil
When I face the faces of the hate and don’t allow my knees to revel
I’m not a rebel, just another scouted soul
Trying to cancel out the voices as the fight for the control

Of me, a child of the muse just known as B
I’ve had a lot of dreams in life but all I want is to see
This happen, magic attaches grasping to fasten
To my soul it shows me lights so I know this all will happen
I cant be caught napping sleepers know they wont achieve
Because when your living in a dream its hard just to believe

in all from writting to recording this took 2 hours tops but i was watching espn2 so i was a bit distracted haha
pizeace

AUDIO

Lo Fi

Hi Fi

dont fucking even start sleeping on me

wtf what is this?

fuck the sleepers yo..this was pretty damn ill man..i was feelin it...keep it up yo !

yo man this was a pretty tight verse

Flow: It flowed smoothly to me, nice man...8/10

Wordplay: Nice wordplay here, not to much but good amount...8/10

Concept: Very nice man, you stayed with it the whole way...9/10

Vocab: Nice vocab here...9/10

Overall: This was a tight verse man, keep it up...8.5/10

check my piece out "Mistakes"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=68292

thanks man
hit up my soundclick
peace

UPING! YALLLLLLLL

i know we can do better the 2 real replies

nice drop

wow man thanks for that deep input

i thought 1 liners got banned?
haha
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Rhyming/Flow
Was Hott. I Read It With The Audio In The Background, And It Flowed Well, Could Have Used More MUlti's But..meh...8/10

Vocab/Wordplay
Was Good, You Don't Hear Much Vocab In Audio Pieces, But You had It n' Blended It Into Your Own Style...word...7/10

Concept/Topic
What Was The Actual Concept Cos i Could'nt GRasp It...5/10

Overall
7/10 - I LIke It, The Advangate Of Being Able To Listen To It As I Read Was Dope, Keep Droppin' Them Like This!
- You Achieved It
Word!

there was no real concept. its like let words coem to u and put them together. a lot of my pieces just mesh. bits and pieces of broken messages taht all make sense when you just think about it.

thanks for the reply
good lookign out
peace
-B