Topic - You are a janitor.. for the fbi... you've seen some strange things in your life of cleaning.. but the strangest thing you EVER encountered in the hallowed halls of the hidden was. .



Silently id Pass Through the Hallways of Glass Rooms
wondering the secrets they held, grasping at my broom
the Last Few days, special agents have worked all out,
on "weapon omega" something few agents knew about. .

Pacing the Chrome halls armed with but a Bucket & Rag
behind the glass, something moved, figured 'fuck it' & ran
after a while i crept back, hoping to catch a quick glimpse
the glass was now shattered,& on the floor lay an air-vent
prepared for the worst,i dropped rag,unbuttoned my shirt
rolled my sleeves up,then placed onmy glasses to stay alert.
obviously the 'thing' that was caged,had somehow escaped
i took it upon myself to catch it, suddenly the room shaked
a roar bellowed then echoed up through the metals features
Noise sounded troubled. Some sort of wild hybrid creature
Up into the shaft i climbed, only guided by the flash of light,
my pocket torch provided . . heart was beating fast inside.
A second roar, louder this time. The sound became deeper
at the opposite end of the vent i could see "weapon omega"
a seven foot figure, w/ green eyes, its huge jaw had opened
walked toward me, wanted to run but seemed to be frozen.
i turned hoping somehow id just wake up,or maybe escape
we now stood Face to Face, and i realised it was too Late
with my final breath, i closed my eyes, gave the lord praise
before being swallowed alive by the thing w/ the gore gaze

Weapon omega was never captured. . now spoken of only in pardon
And the only recollection of me is my Missing pic on the milk cartons. .


Written For Note It, The FWTL. .

Rhyming/Flow
Dopeness, The Flow Was Smooth All The Way Through, You Had Killa MUlti's In here As Well: "Pacing the Chrome halls armed with but a Bucket & Rag
behind the glass, something moved, figured 'fuck it' & ran" - THought That Was Dope..lol .... 9/10

Vocab/Wordplay
You Really DEscribed The Actions, MInute By MInute If You KNow WHat I mean, You WEnt Really In Detail About It. Mad Vocab, Lot of Good Wordplay Here Too: "Noise sounded troubled. Some sort of wild hybrid creature" ....9/10

Concept/Topic
Brutal Original Topic, I Always Like catz Who Give A SHort Description At The Beginning, It Helps Us Understand It more, You KNow..You PLayed It well, Spreading It Out Evenly....9/10

Overall
9/10 - Nothing Really Wrong With THis, It Was Dope As Hell...Brilliant Stroy-Telling Song, Was Worth The REad & I Hope To See more Of It In Future

Word!

^word.

real nice bob, as usual.

really liked it, nice imagery throughout.

peace1

Janitor for the FBI huh?? LOL... nice shit... great flow, vocab was decent... concept was original as hell... Hot shit...

^ I Didnt Come Up With The Topic, Its For A Weekly Topical League, They Give You A Topic And You Have To Write To That Set Topic. .

Fuck You, Dont Sleep On Me After I Went And Replied To At Least 9 Of The Pieces In Here. .

............

I didn't catch any of the multiez that these kidz are talkin' about

Pacing the Chrome halls armed with but a Bucket & Rag
behind the glass, something moved, figured 'fuck it' & ran

and

with my final breath, i closed my eyes, gave the lord praise
before being swallowed alive by the thing w/ the gore gaze

those were the closest thing I seen to multiez in the whole verse... but other than that the verse was aiiight...you stuck to the subject pretty well... and the flow was smooth...

Silently id Pass Through the Hallways of Glass Rooms
wondering the secrets they held, grasping at my broom
the Last Few days...

^ And You Cant See The Multi's? Blah. .
Learn To Read Without Having To Use Hyphens.

Man, some kids have 6/ 7 pieces in here and get 20+ replies, i post one and get fucking slept on. .

Up.

l.ifj,kyuxtrdbhtderu dk

Word..It was fuckin good shit!

lol.
you can get banned for posting one line replies. .

ill plot... IMO the ending coulda been way nicer and more graphic... overall it was straight... good read... just disapointed and suprized that you didn't put up a good fight in the end...

keep writing and exciting...

peace...