Check In: Tuesday.

Verses: Thursday.

Alright, The Rules...

16-48 Line Limit...

No Bullshit...

Topic: If Only...

chek in
good luck cam......
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Cool.
G'Luck. .

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If Only. .

these pages could speak, would they serve a purpose to rhythm?
or Depict Merciless Killings Throughout the Words Of A Villain?
create serges so thrillin the readers held in the freights & screams
of a fairytales Life and Dreams, inside the pages, an Exciting Read
Where Knights and Queens Co-Exist Among Legends and Myths
In a supernatural landscape where mistakes are pledgeing the fifth.
Dreading Lips Temptin` Fate, so the Page barely Mentions Names,
but Decorates each chapter w/ inked Laughter in a Bid to Entertain.
Hoping Kids will Be Drawn In By Its Abundence As The Sun Sets
Another Reader. Another Victim In A Story That Hasnt Begun Yet. .
See somethin` inside each story Gives It a Twisted mind of its own,
And every Time its Read, its Takes A Shred of The Childrens Soul.
With This in Its Posession, it Begins Etching With Sickened Rage
Grinning Slightely as The Childs Gaze becomes Fixed On The Page.
With each pictured scene imagened, they fall deeper into Madness
then as they turn the final page, their finally encased n held captive.
The souls merge with the book, body and mind combined w/ words
Bound together with force.. the closing paperback is all thats heard.
Consider this a lesson learned, this fable of the fairytales spirit
Bury your face in books . . and your burying your soul with it.

Meaning: Everytime a child reads a story, part of their soul becomes entwined with the book. And every story we read, the characters depicted are really the souls of the children who've read the books before us. Peace.

If only...i had gone according to plan wud i be typing this now?
the mind wonders how, i inadvertently escaped from the underground
6 feet down...the incident severed our bonds of friendship
a marble scribed with dead scripts their only mention
it all began with a simple sentence....never thought words meant existence
'I forgot my ticket!'....'Man you fuckin dip shit, where is it?'
Fact is it was on a mision...in the kitchen the $20 cost saved my skin
My friends made their decision….it was too late to return for life
I was dropped off that night at the nearest bus stop in sight
It loosened deaths sickled knife…I returned home regretting my loss
It was a replayed thought…questions rebounding in my head but not caught
An unforseen lesson taught…destinies unforseen hand swapped my place
And stole another face to fill it's archive of fateful grace
The buses engine raced….and mirrored my mental state of being
A clouded black sky viewed from my seating…ominous cries for friends bleeding

(months later)de ja vu appeared and i boarded a bus to visit my fated homies again...
i shuddered to life As the greyhound sprinted towards the bend……….

Meanwhile…

If only…we had turned around and missed ten minutes of the rap show
But no…our selfishness overcame humanity and he had to go
Dam it was so low!…it took us hours to que and get in the grounds
Remorse rose and pronounced your name and screamed over the sounds
Then they announced…the sound system was broken and to refund our cash
So much for that…the three of us got the receipt for deaths empty hand
Reunited with our ride back…ignition to our journey home
A twisted key had evil seeds sown…not long till they were fully grown
We couldn’t have known…as blunts passed our lips on the snaking road
Fate placed a glittering sharp stone…BANG!…the right tyres hissed and blown!
Struggling for control…the shadow man clenched the wheel and turned
Aimed at the rock wall stern……and painted afterlifes canvas with a crash and burn
Our souls spurned…..dashed by crunching metal and engulfed by flames
Turns out though the wall owned our names…If Only's are mere expressions that do little to change
So as we look at our companion firmly embedded in lifes game
U were destined to leave that ticket for life far away
Your shed tears water our flowered graves but fear not we willl meet again one day
Don't take life for granted OK….your end may be just around the corner!!!!!!!


and there u have it....

god dam........................................
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Aight,

Baron:You Had A KIlla Flow Dawg, One Of The Best...Your Content Was Ill, Not GOin' Of The TOpic, Not Playing It Out Too Much, Loved Bars Like: "Hoping Kids will Be Drawn In By Its Abundence As The Sun Sets
Another Reader. Another Victim In A Story That Hasnt Begun Yet" - nice..
Flow:9/10 Content:9/10 Vocab/wordplay:9/10 Overall:9/10

Fgee:You Had more Of The Stroy Telling Sort of Thing GOin ON, YOu FLow Was Good, BUt Was A Little Weak in Some PLaces. Your Content Was NIce, It Was A Good Read, Kept Me Inticed In It All The Way Through.
Flow:7/10 Content:8/10 Vocab/wordplay:9/10 Overall:8/10

Vote:Baron Mynd

aight
Baron:You had a good drop.Flow and vocabulary was good here and everything. I liked the concept, and boy, I wish I could show that to my parents. Then I wouldn't read anymore. Good piece, loved the content.8.5/10

Fgee:Wow this piece was freakin suspenseful.After the first verse was done I thought it ended there, but it didn't Good work, I did not expect a piece like this at all. Now it just makes the whole voting part harder.8.5/10

Now this is the hard part of my job.
I enjoyed reading both stories to the fullest, but Fgee had more of a story tone to it, which kept me alot more interested. But the only problem with the verse was that the flow was a lttle off in some places, while Baron had his flow consistent at all times.This is the toughest vote i ever made, but I'm givin it to Fgee. Both pieces were hot, but I was feelin Fgee's story more.

Vote-Fgee.

peace

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

dang this was a mad hot competition right here. hard choice


Baron: had good wordplay, vocab, def killa flow. very interesting concept, spin most wouldnt think of. 8/10


Fgee: again good wordplay, vocab, good flow. great story, had good ending. i like how it is somethin that would really happen, like i could see that happenin most def. 8.5/10