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08-27-03, 05:00 PM | #1 | |||||||
"Cuz bruk said so"
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~Game Over~
IP: F005 00C3
Something I keystyled durring a tense and hectic day this week...
Stressed beyond relief, completely drained, and still had to deal with issue's at work, very very very alarming issue's. Then to have only more added after work.... So you get the mood I was in now... As always I appreciate your feedback. Gave Over I’m distracted by a mental Chaotic overload Pulled in every direction I’m about to explode Blood pressure’s rising Restricting my Hemoglobe Burning pains in my chest Tormenting my soul Voices echo in my head Telling me to let go Everywhere that I turn I face a new episode Go ahead and gun me down Let my body corrode Rip the flesh from my bones Leave me dead on the road With blood pouring from my eyes Shivering from the cold Tell my daughter Daddy loves her But they just broke the mold My body’s riddled with lead My brain’s a stain on the floor Aggravated by love I’ll never feel any more Ravaged by scorn Just another day in my war I awake and ask myself What does God have in store How much more can I take Before I’m wore to my core My mind is breaking down Don’t make me even the score! Don’t make me wage a new war! Don’t make me let out a roar! Anger, frustration and hostility Are so common to me Undermining my central philosophy Guiding, directing and protecting Those associated with me Giving my life for their tranquility Disrespect, disregard and dishonesty Is what they return to me Why so many destructive tendencies Game over They brought me to my knees!
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FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!! |
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08-27-03, 05:12 PM | #2 | |||||||
Tampons are expensive
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IP: EF0A E7B2
Shiznit's Thoughts:
Very emotional piece. The tendency sometimes when u feel like the world is against you would be a continually stressfull life. Regardless of how you wanted your life to be in tranquility, there are still endless problems, difficulites, and thoughts pressuring you. Your brain starts to overload and gives you more pains and distractions. I felt that you wanted a break from everything. You feel like its too much. Being preoccupied every minute seems a bit hard that it would make you say "ahhhhhhhh..just shoot me". But come to think of it. Everything happens for a reason. Youll never know despite of all that stuff that youve been experiencing right now would have a better possibility of having something good/better in exchange. Its worth reading it. Rhetorical Insights VII is up. Ive seen your written stuff on there. Its quite amazing...so if u have a time out from all ur stress..jsut drop one in there. THanks.
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<br><br><center>- Shiznit - - Tampons are still expensive - - That's a Fact - </center> |
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08-27-03, 05:23 PM | #3 | |||||||
Guest
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IP: C83E 424D
Quote:
i like how you let out your emotions directly into this peice i can only say that keep writing becasue teh more you let out the more you feel like you can deal with the new issues that are bound to arise and you need to be prepared to fight them ~~elev~~ pz DF |
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08-27-03, 07:01 PM | #4 | |||||||
Special Ghost To Blow
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IP: 4577 CD9A
you have the ability to write or rhyme
whenever which is definately a wonderful gift... many of us can and cant do it and write well but for those that are capable of it always make something presentable for you and yours.... I dont wanna be repetative...this made me think of eminem's song 'rabbit run' on the 8 Mile soundtrack..lyrically this was even with it as well as emmotionally... dealing with life in general..his daughter.. and just about everything around him (his stress on the other hand is nothing like yours) in between considered an obstacle beyond his opticals making things that were recently in sight just not seem possiby possible... you can make it possible though man...you got a good heart and something to live for... something to die for..something worth 'preserving' just keep treating your daughter like fine wine mi hombre well done....well done la paz Last edited by Content : 08-27-03 at 07:05 PM. |
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08-27-03, 07:04 PM | #5 | |||||||
"Cuz bruk said so"
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IP: F005 00C3
Shiznit you hit it on the head, this was a straight forward type piece, I did not add the level of complexity I normally do, but I guess that's because it was more of a vent. You really got what I was trying to convey. I was tired and just feed up, I got into a scrape after work that day and I was like fuck it. Do what ya got to do, I guess homie knew I was a little crazed that day. He went on his way, then my EX cuased me some drama. Nothing new, just not needed at the time. By the time I sat down and wrote the drop, I was ready to snap, so yeah you nailed it. Thanks for reading it, and leaving your thought's, as you are one of my favorites here on RB. No diss to anyone else, but you really leave honest thought's, good or not.
I will drop something later in the Rhetorical Insight's, that is one of my favorite threads... I did not forget you Dead and Famous, we seem to have an avitar in common, and most likely alot more, since it is Bob Marley we both are flossing... I thank you for the comments and will do my best to keep writting and elevating.. Can't forget Content... Thanks man, for the insight, ya know what I mean... I can honestly relate to M&M, my life has been a real piece of work. I don't want to sound like a net thug, but I have been through some shit and more. I have fought and fought for as long as I can remember, mostly for others, but this time it's for me... I am sure you know what I mean... Thanks for your kind words, comming from someone with ton's of talent, they really mean alot to me... Peace... Respect to all
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FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!! Last edited by bouncedoggydog : 08-27-03 at 07:10 PM. |
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08-27-03, 07:41 PM | #6 | ||||||||
Registered User
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IP: E511 FA9D
Quote:
^^^^^^^^my thoughts exactly u have alot of talent and everything happens 4 a reason u gotta play tha hand that life has dealt.Good drop>keep uppin i give it a 8/10~1luv~ Last edited by shiznit : 08-27-03 at 09:18 PM. |
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08-29-03, 07:47 PM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 5F0A 0E4C
^*wonders what she edited*...
A powerful full on vent. Which didn't ignore the depths of your anger and problems. Some parts of course were so personal that it's up to the reader to work out "what's he talking about with that?"... Overall, you came with a strong vent. Letting your emotions drop onto paper. No real critique. Though some links were loose. It didn't matter. As it's a vent. Some might say that adds to the effect even. ...resp.... EDIT: Oh alright, i see. Thought it was something more juicy than that. Gah! Bouncy's piece was mucho betteros (er..)...agreed. Very nice. Last edited by varentao : 08-29-03 at 10:30 PM. |
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08-29-03, 08:52 PM | #8 | |||||||
Eternal
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IP: 82FB DEB5
I have to say, i hated this, bounce is quite a terrible poet, no feeling, no emotion, no understanding and no talent...
What possessed you to write that? First i hated the entry to the poem, and it was too quickfire to savour anything, second, there were general mistakes everywhere and third it revealed nothing and even worse was of no consequence!!! Ahem, turn everything i just said around to it's opposite and make it a good thing...I jus wanted to be different with my compliments I have to say, i loved this, bounce is quite a great poet, feeling, emotion, understanding and talent... What possessed you to write so well? First i loved the entry to the poem, and it was quickfire and didn't give any time to savour anything, which shows exactly the hectic truth in you, second, there were general mistakes everywhere in grammar, spelling which showed rushed, enthusiastic anger and third it revealed nothing and even better was of no consequence leaving us thinking, wondering and truly feeling what you felt to a tee!!! Most of all, it had what i find the most important, heart. You put yourself in there and threw it out... Excellent, Amazing, Brilliant drop... (but i'm still better ) |
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08-29-03, 10:05 PM | #9 | |||||||
Tampons are expensive
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IP: EF0A E7B2
^^Have you checked in the Tourny yet?
Varentao..she just kinda posted twice by mistake. So i kinda edited it to post the one that she really wanted. Just keepin everything organized. P.S. Bounce, your entry in Rheto. I. was amazing (as well as Varentao's) BRILLIANT.
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<br><br><center>- Shiznit - - Tampons are still expensive - - That's a Fact - </center> Last edited by shiznit : 08-29-03 at 10:07 PM. |
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08-30-03, 03:18 AM | #10 | |||||||
BANNED
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IP: 5231 27A4
Quote:
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