gangstas they know my name to swallow the streets i 'od novocane~
known to slay bars and margins i hold my hat and know a hobo's pain~
cause im a rolling stone life's death grip holding my heart~
unfolding my sanity unknowing the two of us are growing apart~
flip check it on the realm of real i gain insight of death~
and in the life after i seek to escape the plight of my rest~
i would kick knowledge heavily but intelligence is feather weight~
so delicate so i'm witty in my non breathing like a clever wake~
fuck my last bar my mind closes in on the bigger polaroid~
i tell u son to listen to my bland speach like a solar noise~
fuck my last bar im tryna touch king status and hold gold on my brow~
blowing winds of pain knock me over cause of my address wut im holdin is foul~
fuck my last bar the cold chrome is heaven the trigger is dipped in the reverse~
i read verse-es and as i cross the desert of truth i stop treading and plead thirst~
that was merely mediocre hold a poker facer as im swarmin the block~
my holster tastes of souls taken without a warnin i drop~
pain has struck again in the form of my fallen wife~
my heart slows its beat as i retreat rather then stand tall in strife~
FUCK MY LAST BAR rage grips my mental strings and plays a gangsta tune~
a melody of tombstones and bones of heaven's ghetto but no slang to use~
u know the drill my mic meditation is mettled in mediocrity~
toppin me and being you leaves u etched in hypocrisy~
but as a sidenote my pain did i mention my love, beat without a heart?~
love lost and as my seems seperate my life just comes apart~
but simplicty strikes my dome no longer am i in fear of us being estranged~
i see the reflection of ecstatic rage as i peer into the window of pain~
1luv.

This was certainly random. I mean, I actually figured this at the beginning to just be a bunch of spewed dry dribble of mental vomit to come pouring out.

But I kept reading. It was more like blood pouring out your proverbial fingertips to the keyboard. Y'know... something in side of you. Something good.

Thing is, this peice had no real beginning nor had it any real end. And I think that is really part of it as a whole. It sorta encompesses some sort on anarchaic being within the mental blood drippings of yours.

At least that's what I got outta it.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

an insightful and enjoyable reply Necro thanks a mil for that i just wanted to twist a few of my unsettled issues and have some annonymity rather then state the facts i wanted my meaning hidden but u dechyphered much of my goal, thanks again, 1luv.

tight peom dawg................................i would give ya 8/10..................yo can u do me a favor and voe on dis battle..................
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=75517

^thanks for your insightful reply but thats a pretty cheesy way to get votes homie if u liked the poem "Keep buisness and pleasure completely seperated" if not then BLEH! please any more intelligent replies (like Necro) 1luv.

i do hate upping my pieces just because they are low but im proud of this one so elevation is key, 1luv.

fuck my last bar my mind closes in on the bigger polaroid~
i tell u son to listen to my bland speach like a solar noise~

FUCK MY LAST BAR rage grips my mental strings and plays a gangsta tune~
a melody of tombstones and bones of heaven's ghetto but no slang to use~

order in chaos i like how you use a repeating theme in an obviously chaotic poem....it was if you jumbled it up so the reader would have to search out your pain......good drop a different format with an excellent flow and hidden meaning my type of poetry.......1

^precisely, thank you for your reply all, any mo? 1luv.

elevation is key, 1luv.

Shiznit's Thoughts:

Whoa..u had my mind twisted on that one. THe title redeemed itself perfectly.

Total Randomness acquired skills to reach at some point where one can actually affects his written ideas.

As you continually say "Fuck my last bar" reflected the fact that you wanted to jump from one idea to another. It started with you talking about perspectives inside swallowed by emotions. The pains youve expressed reconstuct to a whole new meaning into your piece. Regardless of hidden messages. You came across something far more important. Being able to pursue an intact idea which supported on how the way uve constructed it all through out.


No real meaning but just uncertain feelings.

Sometimes its fun to be 'Random'

Well well...Rhetorical Insight Week VII is up. Maybe you can share some random thoughts too and drop em in there. Thanks

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

Thank you for your reply as always a queen's approval speaks volumes, 1luv.

sorry for not getting back to you on this man this
was really well done instead of what necro said
from the first look...

skimming over...
third times the charm but you fucked up four bars
literally and the random effect of it made it seem
like something id wanna listen to..and anyone that
reminds me of nas ( Poison-Stillmatic..saying poison)
with concepts and lyrical capabilities gets and okay
from me anyday

actually reading......
your vocabulary was good ans well as the flow of things...
many people wont think something flows because some
us may have manuy styles and abstract deliveries but
this here would sound good in audio..with another verse
attached to it....if you do audio....once again well done

nice vocab and good structure and it was flowing wit emotion hope to see more of ur work keep uppin ~1luv~

well i dont know what half these weirdo fucks are tellin you brah...but imma tell you in plain english n not some blood or soul portrayin over exaggerated love for poety bullshit....heh....son this was deep...your flow and wordplay were on point to a T...preach gives you'a thumbs up!....the structure is average but you portrayed somethin more...nah mean...i feel ya


igido

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freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S