Condescending, parent intending to chuck you out
Many times I’ve heard it, bores me wouldn’t’ inflict
Same old arguments, threatening, nearly physical bouts
Always doubts, no gumption on to directly insist
Only silence, days on end only speaking when it’s needed
Finding reasons to be righteous, with emphasis
Only complaining for feedback to feed it
Can’t believe, how it concedes it, knowing she’s wrong
Creates more friction, knowing in right
10 fold compared to normal, abnormally strong
Uptight, full blown with fury vocal fight
Alter ego personality modern Jeckle And Hyde
Jeckle’s hidden away, lost in the suppression
Must be alien, moulded parent from outside
What age is it when you become so depressin?
When your kids adolescent or are you born with resentment
Don’t give a fuck, ignore, my unwritten law
Much worse for her allows me contempment
Gives me a break sound proof invisible door
Unlike before I would add fuel to the fire
Blaze her anger, damping my flames
Meaning 1-luv to her like stollen attire
Like new years tradition, first foot she attains

What age is it when you become so depressin?
When your kids adolescent or are you born with resentment

^Really liked those lines.

The message was a little blurred to me here, I feel the anger and you are descriptive in the opening when describing the continuous ill feeling and arguments. My first thought was this is anger directed at your mother, but as I read on I wasnt so sure.
The ending was a little abrupt, seems unfinished a little.

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uppin for ma dawg

COM, y tha fuck did u take my icon, and....mutate it into some ugly lookin thing???

oh, tha poem was nice, i liked, good wordplay, good flow...

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<marquee>?</marquee>

REMIX made the avy for me, blame him

I understood what you were saying but the message was a little lost on me. I have much respect for the 1,2,1,2 rhyme scheme because i can never pull it off.

paece

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We are the music makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams.

uppin

Attached Images

potent sig.gif (16.6 KB, 6047 views)

hmmm sometimes emotional pieces lose their potency because our feelings block our talent..........don't fret.............this was a good piece i think the message just needs to be fine tuned just a bit.............it really wouldn't hurt to revamp this maybe add a little more thought to it.............but leaving it the way it is wouldn't be bad either poetry just like hip hop isn't about how or sometimes even what you say but how it makes you feel to say it...........1

thx, it ISNT finished yet as some have guessed....
uppin

Attached Images

ndeva sig.gif (22.4 KB, 1514 views)

you had a very nicely displayed usage of wordz in this piece...poetry has never really been my thing but this was dope...

COM, like the sig

Don't N.D.eva to good/N.Deva to be bad/never beleive wot people say/cos drugs dont make you mad PEACE