I grew up
Ready for anything
Ready for war
As i lay hear bleeding

I'm ready to fall
Should have took
Life real serious
But i didn't like living at all

Now i'm
In the street dying
Cause i wanted to war
Should have never

Taken that call
Dude say he had beef
Cockin the glock
I'm out tha door

Look at my watch
Its bout quater to four
At that time didn't know i'd be hittin the floor
Lookin at four

We had six
That night i had floor tickets for Dallas at the New York Nicks
See them niggas
They looked scared as shit

I didn't think i was gone be the one to get hit
I know it was the third shot
Out of his clip
Then the shit took me out at the hip

Two more hit me
On in the chest and one at the knees
I'm thinkin id be takin some permanant Z's
My body is burning

Like getting stung by hundreds of bees
I'm a changed man
I'm still living my life
But now i know a new way

To walk in life

I walk in life only where the path is light
Now i know that life isn't just a permanent fight
I walk in life only where the path is light
Now i know theres a better time to ride than at night

This was a solid peice. Almost. I mean, it had a simplistic voice, but it was well utilized. Really the only problem was that the lines were very choppy. I'm sure you did this on purpose, but it's rough for those like me who always take a pause at the end of each lines.

But even despite the structure, everything came across well.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

lines were very choppy, quote necromencer

i agree but the post was aight............................................. ........................................

I thought so to, but that's just the way i read poetry, i read it again correctly and it sounded better. very good format/layout whatever i liked it.

peace

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We are the music makers,
and we are the dreamers of dreams.

thanks for tha love...uppin

agree wit the rest was a bit choppy but thats the way i read it. good peice, keep droppin

It was hot if u read it quick like a rap but then it would be a rap so decopitize it or head toward open mic for the respect u deserve, hot piece eitehr way, 1luv.

iight

it was a good piece, it was a nice story, worth reading it. lots of detail in spots, and in other spots i wanted to know more about it.

i agree it was choppy, but you had to read it twice at least to get it right, and then when you did it sounded better.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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i was gonna put it in open mic..but i changed my mind....thanks for tha love...HEAVY