Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
11-03-03, 12:46 AM | #1 | ||||||
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For the cause
IP: B7D6 05D6
never let my knees buckle D cypha
I need you masta c Being white jus10 I'ma clown nigga you a stand around and pound nigga, Say my shit babypool shallow and still I drown niggas, Tryna hide from me on the web ricky found niggas, Like Vets and sick pets on the real I put down niggas, Round niggas up like cattle on the move, Town niggas what you battle and you'll lose, Brown niggas blood we'll rattle all you fools, I'm on the go others stay on the corner like trash, See your shot at fame lame you just watchin it pass, Back in the day I played the game find a watch and then grasp, Sack n the hay I stayed the same mind on knotchin the cash, I dream money shcemes maybe acres of green, Anything just to be hit like baker's nah mean, Gettin the dough when ready and it flow so steady, Like a rat in this race I'm just out for the cheddi, Cheese but on the real please hold your applause, C I didn't start a G in the cells wit no ba's My attitude when I'm mad at you meant mo sca's But lattitude made me a happy dude tit's no bra's Phoenix is the home of hoes sluts and one nights Genius's are know to hit bitches like bumfights I know dude breathe cool like he play wit lung ice Days are hot as hell but stay and we'll have some fun nights, Live it to the fullest no bullets got only one life, Rc some stuff I did on another site. This site is on another level so I wanted to see what people think. Copyright 2003 Cg inc. |
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11-03-03, 11:39 AM | #2 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
once i got past the first few lines, i thought it was a decent enough read.....your vocab could use some work, and i m not sure bout the rhymin scheme......it seems a bit forced in places, the flow was good, on a whole it made for an alright read.........
could you hit this plz........... http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=89218 |
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11-03-03, 07:41 PM | #3 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
that shit was pretty tight--i'm on the go others stay on the corner like trash--keep bringin that AZ heat!!
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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape! |
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11-03-03, 07:45 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 19AF 50C1
it needs work bur your not talentless just needs a lil spice to make this a real solid piece
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11-03-03, 07:53 PM | #5 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Aight....
I liked how you used multis in this piece. It made the flow link together and come out nicely. I see a lot of battle pieces for open mics all over...try an touch on different subjects instead. I'd like to see different pieces come out from you. The piece was pretty simple...so the vocab fit the vibe you was pushing...but more hard to touch subjects up for better vocab, so keep that in mind. Overall.....I enjoyed this...some lines was actually good...like Phoenix is the home of hoes sluts and one nights Genius's are know to hit bitches like bumfights ^^^it made me laugh
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"Knowledge is intelligence. Intelligence is power. Mind is music, but music is forever." - Trip Marxx <font color="red"><font face="comic sans"><center>An you thought I was wack?</center></font> <h2><font color="blue"><center>-- Merkin You One Line At A Time --</font></center></h> <center>www.soundclick.com/tripmarxx</center> |
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11-03-03, 08:48 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: B7D6 05D6
what is a multi the language and stuff puzzles me? still
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11-03-03, 09:20 PM | #7 | |||||||
one wink
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IP: 17A6 BC21
That sites on another level?...yeah, below...
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11-03-03, 09:26 PM | #8 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
its when you have more than just that last syllable that rimes--
FIRST I BLAZE THE HERBS-FORMAT AND PHRASE THE WORDS THIS MC OF A DIFFERENT KIND IS RIPPIN RIMES SUPERB EVERY LINE AND WORD CRIPLE YOUR SPINE AND NERVES THE BEGGINING OF THE END 4 ALL U CATS JUST OCURRED (thats one of my hooks) you see how blaze the words and phrase the words rime--you can do it with a whole word(not just the last syllable) or a few words or as many as you want. don't try to change your style up but throw some in, it helps it flow smoother.
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let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape! |
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11-03-03, 09:53 PM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: B7D6 05D6
check your pm's man I just talked to my cousin and any help you can give would be more than greatly appriciated would you know how to contact pokafase we got a song we need someone with some weight to be on.
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11-03-03, 10:57 PM | #10 | ||||||
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IP: 99A4 4566
dat shit was tight but u could use more vocab aiight dawg dats mi suggstion
Aiight Peace (v) |
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11-04-03, 02:01 AM | #11 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
Yeah this was a alright piece....the flow to this piece was pretty decent i thought....liked the use of multies....your vocab was ok, needs to be up'd a little though....you structured it pretty well also...overall it was a alright piece....keep at it....and keep dropping.
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11-04-03, 02:57 AM | #12 | |||||||
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IP: 99A4 4566
Quote:
tha shit he saidis basically wat i was goin to say aiight hope ya get more shit on this aight Peace (v) |
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11-04-03, 02:50 PM | #13 | ||||||
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IP: B7D6 05D6
i'll be back
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11-05-03, 08:04 PM | #14 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B7D6 05D6
Uppin for feed back one more time
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11-06-03, 03:31 PM | #15 | ||||||
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IP: B7D6 05D6
uppin one more time thx for all so far
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