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12-02-03, 05:03 PM | #1 | |||||||
The Ultimate Weapon
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Love at First Site
IP: FF53 66D0
Check this...
An increase of pulsations, my heart's beating faster// Ceasing my breathing, while walking right past-her// Unparalleled passion, an instant loss of words// Surrender my existence if thats the cost of hers// Can't talk to her, apprehension rising with my every step// The wings of this angel spreading with her every breath// Take me away, the destination is hers to choose// The absence of her presence is the worst abuse// A split second of expent glances is a gift in itself// Can't envision spending life with someone else// The climax impacts upon this very moment, I'm living a dream// How can someone I've never spoken to mean so much to me// i dunno...something to think about peACE Last edited by Ace Of Spades : 12-03-03 at 01:51 PM. |
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12-02-03, 05:05 PM | #2 | ||||||
Anti Drug=Pre-marital Sex
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IP: 2F46 BF0E
damn...pretty deep...i like the way it's written, fairly simplistic but you kept it pretty dope...good topic to write on as well....one...
Diverse
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12-02-03, 10:46 PM | #3 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 4F0F 6843
nice. stayed on point, never lost flow. like diverse said deep stuff. i really think you should add on to this and make it a song. good stuff. stay up
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I tried to rewind time but my hindsight is blind |
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12-02-03, 10:58 PM | #4 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: E98D 7B4B
I liked it bro. easy read and pretty simplistic but it's got meaning behind it for sure, some good imagery to.. not much else I can say everything was on point bro, nice topic, keep up peace.
and if u got the time peep my open mic called "Freedom" and leave some feedback, muchly appreciated, thanx in advance.
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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center> <center>Corrupted Visions</center> <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center> |
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12-03-03, 03:38 AM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 5084 2C7F
It was good had real good flow and never got off topic Deep as hell I'm out ONE
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12-03-03, 03:58 AM | #6 | |||||
This is my first post!
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IP: 7A9E 4512
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[nicepeice i have to say ...girl must be special to write something with emotion] sted of balttle verses -goodwork]
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<center> <img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9076&stc=1"</img> <A Href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111987">t</a> We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office Aesop. |
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12-03-03, 12:27 PM | #7 | |||||||
The Ultimate Weapon
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IP: FF53 66D0
thanx for the feedback peepz...much appreciated...i thought
about it...and i think im gonna add on 2 more verses to this... and yea Dao...she is special...thanx again...much appreciation peACE |
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12-03-03, 12:35 PM | #8 | |||||||
Veteran
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IP: FF89 3C60
Nice drop, my friend...
I can tell ya really young, man... Old motherfuckers like me have ta actually fuck a chick a few times before we become whipped. But, dude... I totally remember times like this verse is relating to. Shit... Missy Stevens and Sharon Haro were two babes from my junior high and high school years... I worshiped the air they breathed... But never had a single conversation with either of em. Just head nods and the occasional, "hi" in the halls... But, man... I'd have whipped your ass back in the day if ya ever said anything derogatory about em. That's being young and vulnerable about the heart. Memories.
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Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T. For my convenience, not yours! |
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12-03-03, 01:09 PM | #9 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 5B2B 528A
yeah that shit was on point ya know wha' i mean everyone can relate to this its something we all feel at one point in life.......good one...................
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12-03-03, 08:11 PM | #10 | |||||||
The Ultimate Weapon
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IP: A044 7DA1
^thanx man...much appreciation...and yea, most people
have felt like this before...and if not...then they aren't people peace |
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12-03-03, 08:49 PM | #11 | |||
...
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IP: A9A7 727D
you need to reply to three other open mics and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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12-04-03, 01:11 PM | #12 | |||||||
The Ultimate Weapon
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IP: A044 7DA1
my bad...thanx for telling me...
threads replied to: Nuclear Concepts Freedom Jack peACE |
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12-04-03, 01:14 PM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 19AF 50C1
overall this was a good read simple yet in its depth complex i like the style and the diversity within you got poetic concept in very street format and a view for targeting emotional aspects.i would love to see more material.
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12-04-03, 01:18 PM | #14 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 0AC2 1A85
Yo, man tha' was some ill shi'...everythin was perfect, a flawless verse if ya ask me...fuckin' awesome....check me n E-Lyrical's verse comin in a couple of minutes...
10/10 Fo Real --G1 |
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12-04-03, 01:28 PM | #15 | |||||||
De M-O-D Bruk
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IP: FDD6 AE15
that's pretty good dude..really in depth...good vocab..tight flow..
good job..8.5/10
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It's Gunna Be Some Stuff You Gon' See, That's Gunna Make It Hard To Smile In Da Future...
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