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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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..Soft Focus..
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Soft Focus: The Weathers Art
IP: 1B3B C284
Replied To: Deva, Ace Of Spades, Robo
Winter A dark silent walk home I glance to see the beuatiful trees glow Remarkable the vision after the storm layed a blanket of snow Trapped in this peace of mind of the soft focus of the evils illusion Sparkling drops of snow eazing my mind putting rest to confusion It's cantagious I could stare at the mysterious eye candy all night An never feel i've had enough, It helps my ego..believe i'm alright Who would have thought just a walk could be a helpful therapist Take away the evil stop you from going and slitting your wriste Eyes feel focused staring at how the ecosystem actually works The winter is so precious maybe it's because of jessus's birth Spring The year is changing like the baby who was born in december Gods cryin rain to wash up snow another season to remember Paralyzen hate with waterfall of lust that begins to prove love You sit and hear the angels play with the thunder from above Puddles left in the ground from the rain storm...nights perfection You stare in the dew of the damp leaves to see your reflection Unparishable the items on the trees that begin to slowly sprout The lakes begin to flow hard and you see fishermen netting trout This season is another blessing indisguise from powerful angels We pray to the keeper of earth to show we're forever thankful Summer Inflatuated by the power from the sun and the bliss handed Down in rays lettin flowers bloom an migrated birds be landed Animals awake from hibernation morning you hear birds churping Look out side at the surroundings and see everythings working From the smallest insect to the largest bear summers majestic With a symphany of sounds in the morning leaving us goin hectic Wake up a little early so you see the sun go down feel the sunset Open yours eye like flowrs see summer is beuatiful...no regrets Heating up the water so our race can swim and enjoy pleasure Another season change that was opened up golden treasure Fall The temperature starts to fall similer to the leaves on the trees See the animals packin up an birds gettin ready tobe diseased Flowers being drownded in rain rivers start to have a light ice A sheet so thin but sets the mood just right an for know price Covered in leaves and mud from a little river on your property You can tell the seasons talken to you by the rain fallen promply Trust this season will come back with more stormy weather Rain drenching ya close fog stallen your journy..anything better? This is special in its own little way everything is a young waterfall Maybe this is actually why they declare this fallen season..fall The Art Seasons can't cure the blind but they help them feel there way Give a right purpose similer to thoughts on why christians pray Showing different pictures from rivers to snow on the trees Incredible it's so blissful could take away the air you breath Take a glance around you and feel the mystical painting it draws Deserves an aplause for many ways it leaves your eyes in awes Doesn't use a paint brush a pad it simply uses it's suroundings Tangles vains around trees leaving certian remarkle findings This is the portrate of life a daily picture that'll never depart Helps your insight rain snow fog mist all a beuatiful art
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 Last edited by rule : 12-13-03 at 11:33 AM. |
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Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
tight shit dawg keep yah ead
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Guest
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IP: 202C A952
Yo ... Beef set aside ... no matter what the beat...
this shyt was tight fa sho dunny's... well at least the first one was winter... but overall shyt was on point an hittin the target... good spit... now *back to the beef* YALL ASS'S SUCK Caesar on3 |
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Flyweight
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IP: 399E F0FD
YO RULE THIS IS HOT NIGGA, I LIKED THE CONCEPT OF IT.
YOU FLOW,VOCAB,MULTIS, WERE ALL GOOD IN THIS. A 8.5/10. I LIKED THE WINTER VERSE THE BEST. RETURN THE FAVOR AND DROP SOME FEEDBACK ON MY NEWEST OPEN MIC THE REBELION PT.2-REMIX THX,PEACE
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NUCLEAR CONCEPTS- DA ILLEST CREW Niggas we dont work with tecks, we work with BOMB threats/ So fuck with us and i'll have WORD aim FAT BOY 2 at you and your whole set/- S.S. |
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Guest
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IP: 29E3 BDD7
This is a pretty good piece. Definately worth the time invested in writing it. I thought the first paragraph was excellent in structure, the picture it presented through metaphors, and flow.
I started reading, not quite knowing what to expect, and was definately surprised in finding that the content is so vivid, and alive with imagery. I enjoyed the majority of the piece, especially the first verse: 'Winter', and the last: 'The Art'. I felt that 'Fall' could have been more refined in concept, as it didn't quite follow the same type of imagery as the other verses, sort of took me out of the mindset of the rest of the piece. I thought it could have been more "on point", having more to do with the theme previously set than "what I'm doing" in this time of year. Other than that, I have no more "constructive criticism" for you on this piece. Overall: 7.4 Keep at it, this was some tight-ass work. Return tha favor and watch for mine. |
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A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
This was a really nice drop hommie. I was feeling the vocab, the subject matter, and the conisistancy of the flow. It was definently a good read, and you had alot of lines that grabbed my attention in there. You always droppin that ill shit, Nice work hommie...
OUT -High Class a.k.a Confusion
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![]() Sig created by "Tha Sick One..." CRHYME SINDICATE Open Mic Drops -Defying The Odds- Higher Thinking League Record 2-0 High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match) |
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
Thanks uppen for some critiques
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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Registered User
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IP: 9077 C569
it was straight flow,wordplay,imagery
i liked it 8/10 |
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
thought the best part was the imagery....really got the feeling across....along with the structure n flow n shit....it really set it off.....nice drop interesting concept...keep up the good work man...pZ...
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Guest
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IP: ABB2 EC94
this was tight....real peice and the concept was bangin..... the vocab was nice in this and the best part was you knew what you were saying with the vocab instead of jus forging words in there..... good peice and keep elevating....pz
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Flyweight
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IP: 64C2 D7B2
it had good wordplay in the piece....nice multis and metas also. the flow never fell off and this was a dope piece
9/10...great job can u please return the favour and hit up the openmics in my sig, thanks alot yo |
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Word.
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IP: 340D 8B8F
Yeah i agree with everyone this was a Good piece here....structure in this was good.....the flow in this was nice, it stayed on through out it i thought as i was reading it....vocab was good in this.....you had some nice multies i though...i liked the imaginary...overall a nice drop...keep at it.
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Middle Weight
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IP: 4744 B0EC
Very Good. Actually worthy of some serious recognition.
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This is my first post!
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IP: F536 F407
concept was hot
flow was hot,structure was,and this isnt played 9/10
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Reppin NUCLEAR CONCEPTS Grimey - Records |
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Banned
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IP: B836 4E64
Dis shit was off da hizzle fa shizzle
9.5/10 flows and all was tight main |
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