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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-15-04, 08:34 PM
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#1
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A King Missing a Queen...
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" Lost Hope " ( Real Nice )
IP: 8D7B 43DF
" Lost Hope "
The drastic times continou, a line forever being elastic Where hell reaks its havok, and drugs creat more addicts Post holding extatic thoughts, the future serving hateul plots As the birds tune stops, more wars created and left fought One shot is all it takes, then the scale will rase its rate Fates holding no weight, means more deaths will accumulate Are we used as bate, or of a master plan to intimidate? If love keeps loseing its grips, whats left to manage hate The truth is held in us youths, and the paths that we choose Were fools to not learn now, cause lacking knoledge, we'll lose... Without Passion, we will take wrong action and have no ration If you know the car will reck, then keep the seat belt fascend There are many intentions, but were ordering wrong missions Think of the potential of man kind, and reveal the intuitions Your vision seep's through the cracks of blessed lands of facts So instead of the great... Where stuck withh opinions of the past Life is a long task, so why put our children through harsh reality Where we judge nationalities, and words can only cause fatality People have given up, and minds for centurys have been feeble Our skriptures going through times so lethal... Yet its our sequal These waves will one day ingulf our boat, and forget all we wrote With this I wont Kop, we must end the beggining of our " Lost Hope " ( Tell me what you think guys, be honest... Good enough to be in the legends? LOL. Well, this was just emotion I had in me. So I decided to write down how I was feeling at the time... Holla Back everyone... ) |
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01-15-04, 09:15 PM
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#2
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Like Whoa...
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IP: 3273 E58A
Defenitley a really nice pecie....
Flow...Vocab...structure was all perfect (but you spelled alot of words wrong.... lol) Content was pretty well put together to, you stayed on point, overall I can't say much is wrong with this... Legends....??? maybe........ Hit my peice up when you have time....link in my sig |
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01-15-04, 09:19 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: 5203 B663
Wow. Loved it. The piece was great, structure was good and you used complexity but not to the point where it couldnt be understood. It went along really well with the piece. It flowed pretty good and the message came through. It was a very good piece . props to you.
plz return the fev if you have time http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107227 |
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01-15-04, 10:09 PM
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#4
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I Used To Pray
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IP: 4577 CD9A
very good man, nice vocab good rhyme structure, liked this alot, dunno about legends but nice peice, keep workin
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Corrupted Visions |
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01-15-04, 10:40 PM
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#5
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: E7E2 6F94
Nice Drop Dawg, the rhyming was very good, liked how you rhymed in between lines and stuff that's coo, the vocab was really good, and the flow was too, overall very good drop, keep it up
peace |
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01-15-04, 11:01 PM
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#6
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Fuck yo couch
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IP: 96B8 1862
Yea, the structure was solid the entire way through the verse, nice use of vocab, internal rhyme scheme. Solid drop. Metaphors hit right on. This was really good.
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I rhyme better than who rhymes better than you |
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01-15-04, 11:38 PM
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#7
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R.B's Demigod
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IP: 5570 9B20
Nice shit. Flow was on, and ya vocab was pretty good. The structure was right and overall the topic was good too. Keep doing shit like that.
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<marquee>FUCK YOU!!! YEAH YOU BITCH</marquee> <center>  </center>slept on battle http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105181 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113861 |
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01-16-04, 12:02 AM
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#8
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<~(BlOoDTiK ThOuGhTz)~>
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IP: A9AC 4434
damn ni¢¢a, thyz ma fir5t read on yo 5hyt an now im a ¢hek it more often... i waz fallowin the flow great an yo volkab waz amazin along wit yo mutliez (alwayz a big fan of mutliez), an the wordplay would go on for hourz trinna break down how good it waz. thyz iz a 10/10 handz down. keep thyz 5hyt up an it will be yo name on the (mo5t likely ta make it outta RB) reward
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01-16-04, 12:04 AM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
That was a really nice piece. I liked the beginning and end but in the middle there was one part that the flow faultered and it lost it's legendary status. It was the part where you were rhyming with "fool". This had a good plot to it and some good lines all in all it was a good piece but is definately falling short of legendary.
pz |
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01-16-04, 01:10 AM
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#10
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Guest
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IP: D029 1D25
yo that was a nice drop....felt the emotion 2 the vocab was bangin n im tryin ta better my structures so i c how thats done lol...nice drop yo 1
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01-16-04, 07:37 AM
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#11
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A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
Thanks for all the input, it is much appriciated. I dont know about 10/10, because we can only get better. LOL . But thanks alot for that comment. Well Upping for some more replies maybe...
__________________
 Sig created by "Tha Sick One..." CRHYME SINDICATE Open Mic Drops -Defying The Odds- Higher Thinking League Record 2-0 High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match) Last edited by High Class : 01-16-04 at 07:41 AM. |
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01-16-04, 09:25 AM
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#12
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 399E F0FD
..Very nice..great structure...good scheme,have'nt read many open mics from you but I'll be on the lookout~
~Go Vote~ http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=104404 Last edited by Penskills : 01-16-04 at 09:28 AM. |
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01-16-04, 04:15 PM
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#13
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A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
^ aight, wouldnt have liked more feedback... But its straight ^
UPPIN
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Sig created by "Tha Sick One..." CRHYME SINDICATE Open Mic Drops -Defying The Odds- Higher Thinking League Record 2-0 High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match) |
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01-16-04, 04:38 PM
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#14
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New to RB
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IP: 1BA6 D97B
nice man, this actually...was my old flow.. at a time i was testing flows and i had a flow replictaed to this right here, i like this peice too, its was pretty hot, thanx for the feedback on my shit, and ur right, but i fine my style isnt that much different, i just write my shit to a beat so its easier for me to read it ya know?? im just responding to ur response to my shit and i like ur shit right here man, very nice,
kanser |
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01-16-04, 06:41 PM
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#15
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A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
^ oKAY ^
UPPIN, people need to start returning favors...
__________________
Sig created by "Tha Sick One..." CRHYME SINDICATE Open Mic Drops -Defying The Odds- Higher Thinking League Record 2-0 High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match) |
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