For An Eternity to Last, It Must First Begin

We met...

Verse 1

An increase of pulsations, my fragile heart's beating faster
Wishing her hand was in mine, time folds while I past her
Unparalleled passion, an instant loss of words
Surrender my existence if its the cost of hers
Obsessed deception, her angel wings spread with breath
It was beauty beyond belief that this girl bled in depth
Take me away, the destination is hers to choose
The absence of her presence is the worst abuse
A split second of spent glances is a gift in itself
Can't envision spending life with someone else
The climax impacts upon this very moment, I'm living a dream
How can someone I've never spoken to mean so much to me

We fell...

Verse 2

Either procure flight with this angel, or burst into tears
I confided confidence in myself by submergin my fears
Slowly embraced paces I reaped my courage for words
Somehow everything seemed like a reoccurrence at first
Introductions were absolute, I felt I knew her before this summit
The very entity of my dreams, I was already equipped to commit
Deprivation of previous depression, my heart resisted dismay
Till this I was insensible to the fact that bliss existed this way
I breeched supreme glory when I conquered her askin me
An emergent of miracles, my aspirations converged veracity
Insurance was superfluous, my feelings became explicit
I had no real reason to subsist until she became listed

We lasted...

Verse 3

From being blessed with your prospect, to your hand in mine
The angel of my every reverie and now my lifelong valentine
I’ll invest the best of myself and oppress the rest abhor away
Ingest the less of myself to progress love’s crest to your array
A glimpse of heaven emerges merely at the mouth of a kiss
Nonetheless true to say to you, I can’t live without or exist
The ether of my reality, you’ve become the air that I breathe
The innate conveyed beauty of you is an endowed certainty
An elixir for my desire, the universe surrounds simply us two
My captured rapture is succumbed by sheer thoughts of you
Sealed with an undying vow, my fragile heart is now potent
“I love you unconditionally and this love for you won’t end”

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

man it's like when a tree barks. sappy

^i don't get it. lol. thanx.
uppin..................
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peace

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

This was nice i thought.....made a good read .....i like reading this kind of stuff, probably because i tend to write about love and stuff a lot lol....you had some nice multies in there, very nice.....had some deep lines i thought, some i could relate to, some made me cry lol j/k....nice way to end it i thought....all 3 verses were real nice...keep dropping man.

^thanx dog. uppin this for feedback.....
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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

Flow - pretty good, with the longer lines you used it becomes easier to ensure the proper tempo. One thing a few lines didn't seem to actually rhyme. ie:

The climax impacts upon this very moment, I'm living a dream
How can someone I've never spoken to mean so much to me

Introductions were absolute, I felt I knew her before this summit
The very entity of my dreams, I was already equipped to commit
- I guess this one could work depending on how you say it, but it's a stretch

Sealed with an undying vow, my fragile heart is now potent
“I love you unconditionally and this love for you won’t end”
- Again a possibility but requires some serious accent.

Vocab - did what you wanted.

Concept - Have to agree with CainSin but I suppose about half of humanity might like it.

Overall - 6.5

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Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud

lol. thanx even though ur feedback displeases me. oh well. i guess it all depends on
ones ability to...

peace

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

cmon peepz. its not that hard to read. uppin for feedback
on this..........................
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pz

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

average...I can see why Credz likes it..(that fuckin sissy~LOL),anyway this was just average..nothing I haven't seen before..peace..

This was one of the better drops that I've read. The vocab was good. Rhymes and flow were good. This pice was definately worth the read.

"Unparalleled passion, an instant loss of words
Surrender my existence if its the cost of hers"-Strong. These lines were ill as fuck

"I’ll invest the best of myself and oppress the rest abhor away
Ingest the less of myself to progress love’s crest to your array"-This shit was nice

Overall, it was a pretty strong piece. Keep up the good work.

Please drop feed here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112603

^thanx peepz.

penskillz- i laugh at you for saying that. i come original. i dont' see anyone who has
even close to the same style as me.

archival- thanx. i'll hit urs up.

peace

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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

uppin these easy-to-read verses. .....
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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

up...............
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<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

yo homie wuts up..read ur drop n saw that it was a good read ..like it alot cuz u anothat newbie but u dont rap bout how hard u is or u filled wit biched n money n shit..u write bout the real shit n u wrote bout love which i noe evry1 expiriences a least once in dey lives..so i give u props n i liked the whole drop...the vocab was tight...the imagery it gave was also good...the flow was on point n evrything fell into place..it was pretty easy or basic but it had sumtin in it that mad ur drop different so keep rhymin n hope to see more of ur shit

Peace

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