the months of creation spent facen another
two sons with eyes un-open,placed inside a hopeful mother
cells gathered setting the stages for the phases of tomarrow
an unseen danger unpredictably filled a half empty bottle with sorrow
a light borrowed permanently left the others in shadows
brothers battle for sufficientcy,missing the loss of tranquilities
embossed in an embodiment of criss-crossing abilities
still it seems in solitude there's only room for the presence of one
amongst a wombs discressions the essence of a shinning sun was spun
relying upon the breath passed through the lungs of life
steadfast in limited mobility,still striving with steps to survive
my heart beats,i'am alive but left blind to each new day
hands and feet reach internally for freedom,but solid walls restrain
pushing against the curtains grains with all my mustered strength
just another month to wait,escape my brothers fate and see the world
but im concieled,yet to be revieled,sealed as my mothers precious pearl
destined 2 steal 1's inner errodesence,feeling stronger by the
second,growing restless
so i send subliminal impulses answered by uncertain questions
"is this the pending moment?" "or a message emerging unclear?"
fearing the sincierity of intentions but my minutes are finished here
heading towards the exit of entrance,nearing my final approach
my idle's broke,a single stroke away when suddenly focus froze
hopes and dreams fade astray in a smokey haze that is death
its undeveloped figure & face chose to choke my fluid breaths
no second guessing my lucidity, i' am completely aware
solitudes' left me cornered carelessly, murdered by internal affairs





~1~

FYI: This was for his topical battle, topic was Solitude.

This is hot! Well, I didnt read much, but just the idea
of pre-birth 'solitude' is the illest...

Cise

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Concise Music

aww man... this was deep... loved the imagery... this one's pretty original dawg... I would have never thought of writing something like this... the concept itself makes this a hot piece... and you had that strong vocab to back it up...
Very complex, but it makes sense.... the flow itself could of been a bit better though...
Let me ask you man, how you think up a topic like this?

~1~

Nice... I like the originility in this b/c honestly how many peeps would think of writing about being in a womb?... lol.. Tight as shit Endo... keep it up and don't sleep on this...

i guess the topic just hit me, i didnt wanna write another verse about being in like mental solitude, i wanted to portray the deepest image of solitude that exist and this is what i thought of!

lol

the months of creation spent facen another
two sons with eyes un-open,placed inside a hopeful mother

Notice the 'two'.. I sense a twin brother...

relying upon the breath passed through the lungs of life
steadfast in limited mobility,still striving with steps to survive

dope

my heart beats,i'am alive but left blind to each new day
hands and feet reach internally for freedom,but solid walls restrain

hotter!

pushing against the curtains grains with all my mustered strength
just another month to wait,escape my brothers fate and see the world

If you dint see the meaning in this everyone. Kid had a twin brother, who died during birth. Deep!

so i send subliminal impulses answered by uncertain questions
"is this the pending moment?" "or a message emerging unclear?"
fearing the sincierity of intentions but my minutes are finished here

wow!


Well, i finaly actualy read a whole peice! This was dope!
No question about it...

Cise

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Concise Music

thanx for the in depth reply cise, dope shit, thanx again homie!

yo peeps please do not sleep on this, come on!!

i posted it to get replies so lets see some yo!

damn....

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Concise Music

word^ exactly

aight im really gettin pissed over all the sleeping goin on in this forum, what the fuck do you post something for.....to get replies and this forum is fuckin tranquelized or somthing damn!!
wake the fuck up and leave some critisism!

damn this was nice, its nice to see an orignal topic,(lol thats somethign i need to work on) nice flow, nice imagery, no tips cause i dont want to try and act like im the best ever but just keep dong what ever you do.

no go reply to my keystyle

you already know what i think of this one...
keep elevatin dawg,
eh, NCP !!