uppin

smz the vocab was nice andcreativity wasalso pretty hot..
i thought the rhyme scheme was good..probablycuz i write similarly..
good imagination and just take the cridict as just that, a cridict..the flow was hot kid..

oh and TIMELESS that picture is fricken halarious..looks like uneed to put that gun down, cuz, holdin' all crooked, looks like ur ganna shoot ur'self..no diss to u, but tkae how ever you want.

good verse smz

peace

HHHMMM..I'm going to read it sooner or later..I read like a bar..and no...really..no..

__________________

Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..

Oh, I see kinda like:

Freeman hates me ‘cause his vocab’s not on my level,
Tryin’ to rape me, ‘cause he’s a raging homosexual,
Intimidated by a newbie, I really think that’s comical,
Trying to show mastery with rhymes that are abominable,
Don’t fuck with me nigger I can rip you any way you choose,
Your post count is bigger but if you challenge me you’ll lose.

__________________
Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud

dipshit that took me about 20 seconds - I posted it right after I logged on to this site. You do realize that even if you post something at 11:52 I will not see it until I log on. According to your logic it took you 21 hours to come up with four bars.

And fuck you. I'll call you whatever I like. If you're bothered by what people say then you've got the wrong hobby.

__________________
Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud

The reason I kept hitting one rhyme so often is because that takes more skill. It's much harder to find 16 words that rhyme and still say what you want than it is if you keep switching every two.

__________________
Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud

^^^Your not getting what he's saying..and why waste time writing something noone will honestly read?

__________________

Soft Focus
Suicide Inc.
RhymeVantage
Def.Ill
Ghost-Writers

Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..

Why would you want to call me a 'nigger'...

When im clearly white... Im not a 'nigger'... So dont call me one...

Idiot...

Shut up now... Your annoying me...

Stop being a weenie, SMZ...

You asked for feedback...

That's what this room is for...

You got it...

But now ya wanna cry cuz it's not what you were expecting to see?

I guess you wanted this, huh...

"Dude...you are so the best RB has ever seen"
Or maybe...
"This kid is a phenom"
Or was it...
"You are a rap god and I'm pretty sure everything you said in that verse was true!!!"

Well, sorry...

You got critiqued.

Live with it and hopefully learn.

Peace

__________________
Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T.
For my convenience, not yours!

No, I get it. He's saying two line scheme flows better. I have a different opinion, but I thank him for his thoughts on that matter. Why write anything? Because I have thoughts and feel the need to harness them in some permanent fashion.

The meaning of the word "nigger" evolves just as all language does, thus "nigger" is now often used just about as widely as "fuck". It carries a wide variety of meanings and can be used in almost any situation.

If you read my posts you would see that quite clearly I expected criticism and in fact asked for it. However there is constructive criticism and then there is just plain insults. I took his first two posts as an insult but nonetheless responded in a subdued tone. By his third post I thought the misunderstanding was worked out and I asked for legitimate assistance. He decided to come back with some more insults so I finally decided to give him some right back.

__________________
Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud

Do you really think it’s progression,
for everyone in this profession,
to move in the same direction?
Should I too, do as others do,
to please the likes of you?
Fuck that. I attack, and counteract, the lack, of real fact,
like what put us back, in the state of Iraq.

And you doubtless didn’t notice that us is also U.S.
That’s why hidden motives will still put us in duress.

I bring my own style, and all the while,
have to hear you revile,
things you don’t understand.
Cause you won’t raise your hand,
and try to question me for knowledge.
The first lesson you learn at college,
is you must ask before you can learn.
And then how fast you’ll start to burn,
with the fire, of unquenchable desire,
to reach ever higher,
until they place you on your bier,
and praise your face from the choir.

But to make your mark you have to stand out.
Your mind is so dark you can’t see what I’m about.
I’m on a higher plane.
How could I ever explain,
my psyche in a comprehensible way to you.
It’s like tai chi - the way I accomplish this coup.
I’m taking over rap in an inventive subtle fashion, -
ensuring I destroy the crap with the fire of my passion.

Alright Freeman - we might have got off on the wrong note.
But I de-mand - that you don’t scoff at the lyrics I wrote, -
within reason of course.
I see no need for wars.
I’m offering my hand - don’t spurn it.
Or as I stand I’ll prove I’m learn-ed.
Don’t force the issue - just give me peace.
I don’t wan’na diss you. Let the quarrel cease.

__________________
Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud