Voted For: Creativitie

well...blah...this was obviously a quick spit by both...first timer in here too

assassins....not bad, but your verse lacked imagery, your lines didnt really flow together that well, connecting and making a nice picture in your head, this can be elevated by using better vocabulary....a little more wordplay (yours wasnt bad) and making your verse flow more smootly....dont put one single thought into just 2 lines....expand a little, make a story, let the reader get a image........you had decent emotion, but that need some work too...didnt really seem to describe any specific happenings, kinda just jumped from topic to topic, keep it consistent, and you should get the hang of topical writing....not bad, for a first timer

creativitie.....gah....i know it was quick,...but wordplay (spelling) was boourns....felt your vocab drowned out alot of the emotion and imagery...but i could still relate and get somewhat of a picture and follow along with it....you kept fairly consistent with your topic, and it was a touching little story....with more time, it probly coulda been better.....but overall, it was just decent....no hate

v/creativitie

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