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Old 05-25-05, 11:52 PM   #1
B. Magik
Sam Dope
 
Posts: 3,499
From: STL
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Wow I am really feeling this shit here...Most definetly an OM of the week nominee

Real deep shit from both, feeling the vocab and imagery put into this...Nice topic, very creative

I loved the concept, and I am really looking forward to another one from you two...

Very nice

RTF and hit up my battle with Skriptz whenever...
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Old 05-29-05, 03:32 PM   #2
KOOL COL-B
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not bad my spiccaz, but dayum, u wuz usin sum werds that KOOL COL-B iznt smart enuff 2 understand, lmao, but good shit anywayz, werd
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Old 05-26-05, 10:26 AM   #3
Ma$fit
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From: DETROIT IN DIS BITCH!!!
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real talk...dis is hotness wrapped in a rap...structure, imagery was on point...really felt every line, and could relate to sum...dis is dopeness at a peak dat i havent even seen from neither of u...and Att, when u get a nice deep topic in mind, PM me, cuz im not dat good thinkin bout topics...we gotz ta collab kid...9/10...real talk
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Old 05-26-05, 03:52 PM   #4
Germ
in your system
 
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From: Adanac
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*rolls in with a wicked beat pounding*

this was awesome, seriously......i read it 3 times over, wordness, seemed like this was a difficult topic to write on, well seeing how you two both came out, ever so subtle explainging your insecurities, but managed to explode with emotion and everything, haha

i think i liked your second verse the most atticus, but i read the first one over, and it was still really good, your style is pretty complex, but yet at the same time, works very effectively with how you portray your topics....if that makes sense, word.....emotion was kickin' in this man, great write man, really feeling it

word to OSB, little different approach than usual eh, but it worked nicely...good message, nice flow, great emotion, you really hit the nail on this one man, definately write more, nah sayin?

big props to both here, this was a killer OM, keep up to both fo-sho
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Old 05-27-05, 04:04 PM   #5
XquizitLyricist
New to RV
 
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a yo now i see i jumped o nthe right team here vocab was there and shit deffintly running this this the post of the day right ere young bankz out holla fam stay up continue dropping that fire and ill be ther with chu holla
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Old 05-27-05, 04:31 PM   #6
UNF
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Wow Nice Shit Best open Mic I Seen Since I've Bin Back, Vocabulary Was Good In Here Both Came With Fucking Nice Structure Creative Shit Here, This Should Be A HOF Man Good Shit Yo I Liked The Concept Of This Piece Good Topic
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Old 05-27-05, 05:06 PM   #7
N0$FeRaTu
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This piece was good, I liked the topic & I feel you portrayed it well here. Vocabulary seemed on-point. Structure made it hard to follow but it was still good. You both had different approach's which was a good thing. Keep dropping.
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Old 05-27-05, 06:41 PM   #8
schema
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[[Verse One: Atticus]]
Cold... So Self Aware Nearly Swelled With Null
Pain There Remains No Clearly Well, Hell All Fates Fallin Dull.
^I have no idea what this means
Full With Great Opportunities Dropped Late Pages Erased
Scribbled Blank Classics Seem Lacluster, To Muster Greatness
^kinda fillery but not too bad...
Deems Its Placement As This Obsene Dream... Lavish Covers
Tucked Under-Over Realities Blacklist At The Back Misunder-
Stood Youth Doomed By "Could Do's", Never Dones Continue To Run
Through A Life Of Light Blind To Strive With Eyes Fused Up.
^I have no idea what this means
As I Search For Comfort... Last Resort To Sore Is Some Form
More Or Less More Less Than More Yet The Love Makes This One A Whore.
Hunt For The Touch Of Anyone One That Can Form The Sence
Of Sudden Abundance... Fuck Me! Free Me From Poor Judgments!
this is too much for me...im like on multi overload...and i really dont understand what you mean by any of this...maybe im just stupid or maybe it doesnt make any sense

[[Chorus x2]]
Inpurity, How Pure They See...
Please Let Them See Me Bleed For Acceptance
Cuz My Wrists Slit And... I Think I Saw A Smile Seep
Against His Lips, "DAMN!"... Quick Razor Rip And Dance
To Please My Little Insecurities Rants.

[[Verse Two: OneStepBeyond]]
My insecurities are endless, life with dozens of twists,
Running from myself... and my purity, it doesn't exsist,
werd...
Attached mentally to my girl in which I struggle to fix,
I always fall One Step short, now failures strung in the mix,
Can't juggle the shits, so the pressure on my shoulder builds,
Yet to have soul instilled... still showing colder shrills,
youre reachin for multis with the showing colder shrills but i was feelin these two bars as a whole...i can understand what youre talking about and the feel is pretty cool...
Sposed to be a souljah, losing prides giving me colder chills,
Bottle up my firing emotions and when the molten builds,
One day they explode, flaming, burning, igniting the fuse,
fighting the fueds within myself, i'm frightened to choose,
real nice right here
Wether to change my life, but I descent still to badness,
The ability to do so is there... but my will is absent...
werd...this capped shit off...really nice stuff here...

[[Chorus x2]]
Inpurity, How Pure They See...
Please Let Them See Me Bleed For Acceptance
Cuz My Wrists Slit And... I Think I Saw A Smile Seep
Against His Lips, "DAMN!"... Quick Razor Rip And Dance
To Please My Little Insecurities Rants.

[[Verse Three: Atticus]]
Drift Through Days In Haze Of Blur Blue Shades Asume
A Tune That Drones Quick In Flash... Come To Play A Few
Hours Past... Waste Away The Class My Last Grade
A Fail Stale Brained... Maine's Influence Henced That Blaze
Of Smoke, Clouds Dround Out The Sounds Of Hope
Beyond The Pond Of Poison Possitioned In This Frown Of Rope.
The Drugs My Freedom Fiefdom Of Peace Piece Of Mind
Just Dug Its Grave-Lay-Pray One Day The Gates Free A Bind.
Now The Highs Familiar Still Your Frown Finds Out How
To Renounce This Drugs Feel Your Fucked, So You Cut Down To Cut... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!"
pretty nice...i understand this more than the last one but still not totally...you should work on making more verses like this...not just like drifting off into nonsensical flowery language like the first verse...

hit up my gfx battle with hattrick... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192021
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drugs and mac-10's...hugs from fake friends..."


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i'm not attracted to women...
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Old 05-27-05, 06:41 PM   #9
.:F.ate:.
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this shit's moving. it's a very complex, deep type subject. almost like an extended metaphor of life's ups and downs. i really enjoyed reading this. ya'll seem to have great chemistry workin 2getha. this almost shouldn't even be considered rap, it seems more like insightful poetry. i give it 5/5 mics up...rtf......1
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Old 05-27-05, 06:50 PM   #10
datopprospect
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From: J-Ville, NC
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Yo, i'ma tell u like this. I dun usually read long drops from niggas, but yours actually kept my interest. The wordplay in Atticus verses was very good. I've yet 2 seen any good wordplay on this site until i read that. And OSB was mad serious. I felt the punches in that and everything flowed so good. The chourus i didn't get until i read it a few times but an overal good chourus 2. I was really feelin that tho. Good job @ both of you guys. Keep that up, i wish i could read more good drops like that. EZ
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Old 05-27-05, 06:51 PM   #11
Ysdat
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yo this is hott

both a you dropped solid....not one stands out from the other...this is one a thos collabs that without the other person it wouldnt be as dope! So you both worked in with each other well on this
structures are good.flow is good..entire drop is a good read...
RTF!
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Old 05-27-05, 07:29 PM   #12
Sweft
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From: America
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Hey I liked this one it was cool. I didn't understand this line though...
"To Please My Little Insecurities Rants." The Rants.. I dont know what your trying to say..

Now Atticus
"Cold... So Self Aware Nearly Swelled With Null
Pain There Remains No Clearly Well, Hell All Fates Fallin Dull."
Your maltis was good but you need to work way more on your vocab.. I really do like your style and will want to work with you sometime.. My fav line from you was..
"Tucked Under-Over Realities Blacklist At The Back Misunder-
Stood Youth Doomed By "Could Do's", Never Dones Continue To Run"
Wow word play was sick and made me think about my life. But Im stuck by just doing and don't think. Im hella sparadic.

OneStepBehind..
I really got caught into your verse.. I love how you started off..
"My insecurities are endless, life with dozens of twists,
Running from myself... and my purity, it doesn't exsist,
Attached mentally to my girl in which I struggle to fix,
I always fall One Step short, now failures strung in the mix,"
But as I said you need to work on vocalb, The word play was nice in here I liked how you added your name by an action.. really nice.
Honestly structure was dope by both of you.. good colab and worth the read.. to be honest I want to work with both of you...
Ah, and if you wanna return the favor just hit up "psst" or "WHAT! ask me why im in TC!"
Overall this was like, hmm 7.989/10 (LoL)

Sweft
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Old 05-27-05, 10:04 PM   #13
Sweft
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.. I just realized.. this was the best feed back I gave yet on RV.. wow
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Old 05-27-05, 10:17 PM   #14
Kirk
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cause this is dope
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