|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
|
|
08-15-05, 03:04 PM
|
#1
|
|
|
Light Weight
|
IP:
ay good drop...had good imagery as everybody else has said already lol...but work on ur metaphors a lil an everything will come 2getha fa u...keep elevatin
|
|
 
|
|
|
08-15-05, 05:20 PM
|
#2
|
|
|
Whys That?
|
IP:
emotion is nice thru this. The topic could of run a bti deeper,but apart from that this is a nice drop. you could of extended your vocab a bit more,more vocab means alot more emotion.
You should of run alot deeper with this topic, taken time and done more of a scripture peice. I know Rv dont like long drops but idf its dope they will read it. nice drop |
|
|
|
|
08-15-05, 05:27 PM
|
#3
|
||
|
©
|
IP:
Thanx for the feed n Ysdat i will holla at ya for a collab some time!!!!
|
||
|
|
|
08-15-05, 07:00 PM
|
#4
|
||
|
IP:
decent drop, the emotion was great as well as imagery.. the only tip i'd give you would be to measure your piece with enough metaphors, a few multis would be nice.. and a more complex rhyme scheme try to expand your vocab... this was pretty short, i would like to see another verse added to this if possible.. but for as it is, it's pretty decent.
stay up kid. 1
__________________
|
||
|
|
|
08-15-05, 07:14 PM
|
#5
|
||
|
Middle Weight
|
IP:
nice drop here fa sho playa da hook, vocab, concept, strucutre & originality was there eva thang was on point i like u did dat keep writing cuz u got potential 8.5/10
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
||
|
|
|
08-15-05, 07:35 PM
|
#6
|
||
|
Business Not Personal
|
IP:
hot om here!
ya was able to make reading the text....... into one big story in my head really good flow to it.... the creativity was very good..... and i liked the guest apperence for the hook...... overall 8.5/10 *see under my sig for the Livin' Legendz OM*
__________________
 There's a lot of talk about whos the hottest, to be honest
hip-hop aint been the same since Tupac moved to Cuba on us! |
||
|
|
|
08-15-05, 07:50 PM
|
#7
|
||
|
©
|
IP:
Thanx for all the feed.......Watch Out for my 2 new OMs coming up!!!!
 |
||
|
|
|
08-25-05, 07:55 AM
|
#8
|
|
|
Whys That?
|
IP:
yeh get at me. .
Last edited by Ysdat : 08-25-05 at 08:39 AM. |
|
|
|
|
08-25-05, 08:19 AM
|
#9
|
|
|
Middle Weight
|
IP:
look i felt this it made me wanna drop a line so i did
Have a bold voice but like an old horse still has the ill Ability to work not a silly jerk so I progress at will In a trap situation after an application to work at McDonald Flipping burgers tripping after mergers with French fries Ronald The clown got pissed couldn’t frown on this like a coach He demanded that I play by the rules stay in school and approach Classes with vengence |
|
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
