If anyone wants some personal elevation lessons with me then hit me up over AIM and I'll run some things through with you.

AIM: Appocolyptik
MSN: Pyrokronix@hotmail.com

Nigga please, why try, you know that im kickin dweebs
But i cant say you suck. . . cuz then i`d be dissin feebs
You sickin` me, even your fuckin` cars are worse, kid
So i`ll bash lack . . .without needin` to call for insurance
And im lying, your shows stay bumpin` until there done
Cuz black doesn`t silence crowds
. . .I heard Z`s outta everyone
Faggots done, i waited awhile, parents wouldnt loan time
But I Didnt Care. . .
Cuz i doubted he`d come fresh, Or even write his own lines
So when i show mine, he`ll get mad and hate, so Kid pray
Before i pitch black. . . . . . . . . .in a ditch during mid day

MaRVjay, your on the list dawg, coz strobe had em all wrong
Coz this fags requesting to pinkslip---->into pumps and a small thong
Ur old news like yesterdays paper even the cypher digress
Coz This kid bites enough lines to write a weekly Digest
So you better Take me out your sig fam, I dont mess with bitches
But I will drop Marv a link...then drag him by his legs with it
So forget it nigga Im done with this wak fuck
And not to be racist, but blacksilence...N' I really wanna keep it as such
Im kneeing your nutts, so cry You fuckin' ashy bastard
'Coz lotion keeps em 3yrs younger--->then the boys he's usually chasing after
And Stick and stones may hurt, yeah but wordz'll blow his ribs
Coz I browse the net, while he's too black for you to notice his
And Native, he's wak but atleast he admits that he knows
COz feeding is like girls he admires, none'll ever eat @ joes
Make em bleed out the nose, uppercut em through heavens free sanction
Then drop em back to hell, low enough to see his own league ranking
So starv yourself, do something productive for the league son
'COz if you join you'll just be Stanzas crutch, coz he's about to need one
Yeah nigga, Im destroying your rep, Stanz is not imperative
This fag could win 3 battles and STILL be in the negatives
Nobody reads your raps, But shit...I dont have to tell duke
Just peep this weeks mag and see if they even mention you
So check it...vs Heratoga, thats a question of me being nautious
You got 3 of the top 5, so you'll be seeing atleast 3 losses
Theres gonna be a lot of slow singing and flowers in baskets
'Coz last time he bitch moved...it was me facing em down in a casket
So battle Appoc and get slaughtered, murdered and slayed
But I'll admit, thats like your bitches legs--->I see it going either way
And Lamp you wont escape wrath, I'll scarface till Manolo hurts
Coz I sent em back so far last week, He STLL calling Solo, 'kirk'
'Coz I'll exept all your challenges, fagget...we can battle repeatedly
Coz I could cut off all my finguers...
...And still count how many times you defeated me
I'll beat you easily...its not a challenge, to even call it such...
should be against the league rules coz you fucking suck
And to Shit on the next nigga, son... its a raw fact....
Niggas just be asking, "why t'fuck you tryinna rap For...Mat?!!!"
Your gonna get served and plowed, I can already smell em fry
Coz I know you like chicken, but that Hen'll eat em alive
So its 21 gun salute...after burying the ranks in fatigues
Coz Glocks aint been poppin since...His d/r KempMRK left the league

thats real talk...

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figure I could drop by and promote my my first mixtape and what not since im here..

My verse against UsernameOn B-Boys Site

This Whole Game is Gettiin Lame So Fuck all Of Your Wack Usernames
Couldnt Drop Dope If I Shove Crack Up His Back and into His Brain
Im Wreckin His aim.....And Its Only The Begining of Shame
But The Middle of this Dame So Nigga's Know im Smokin This Jane
Shoot up His Spain So The Bitch Wont Scream Livin Levita Loca
All You'll Here is Livin....Bcuz The Rest of His Levita Gets Broke Up
I Dont choke Up But word is you suck Cock & That Virus Hittin Ya Spots
Umm....I would Diss You But Thats The Only Reason You Cum Hot
So Ill Leave Yo Dumb Spots open For Early Recovery So You can Compete
Im Not Talkn Bout You fuckin Ya dad when I Was Talkin Bout Cum-Pete
Ill Shot you With a Hi-C And Watch Yo Notes Drop To A Low Octave Of B
You A Dumb G....Must Explain Why The H I J In Yo Alphabets is H I V
Bitches Claim You Hot and I see You Get Landed in The Top Ten
But Ya Skills Is Like Soda in a Can..Neva Really Spose To Top Tin
You Cant See Me Must Explain Why Ya Punchez Are Mishits To Me
Bcuz Like A Clock I Hit With 2 45'z Like Its A Quater To Three
Possibly Niggas Already Sponserin Me...So Votes Are A Ease
Ya Punchez Never Climax Like Whores They only a Tease
Get Off Ya Knees Nigga's Stop Begging For Ya Punch To Hit
Waitin on Me To Sneeze So You Can Hopefully Touch my Spitz
I Would Keep Goin but The First Blow Really Ending This Game
Yo Bitch Is Hot Like You...Must Explain Why Noone Wants To Us her name

__________________

One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

Trus isnt a smart guy, showin love for a bitch....
that could give him brain, and leave ya junk torn to shit
With teeth like that... she's the man in the relationship huh?
I mean shit... you have more feminine lips that she does!
Dont mean mug... you better just run and make haste...
Since the hue of her teeth, is showing her fear of date rape
Ya'll just grubbin on butter? Cause that bitch'll kill an erection
She's hot butterface... body, hair, and complexion....
I mean she's got a red face... to match that shit that ur wearin
Wait... isnt that ^^^^ usually a sign of being embarassed
No wonder ur standards are garbage, need to idolize how I get mine
While you got a 18 yr old, with tits saggin down to ur belt line
'N thats sad as shit, will you be respected? no way...
Especially when even your lazy eye... is sprinting away from that horse face!

posted in cyhper after comedian

IP: 85F3 8B60

no let me tie this in with film lets see who really lose/
this battle's MISSION IMPOSSIBLE but dawg...your no tom cruise/
see it's RISKY BUSINESS comeing at a LEGEND look..just stop son/
u LOSIN IT cuz FAR AND AWAY my verses make me TOP GUN/
i'll spit u DAYS OF THUNDER make it RAIN MAN u can't see me/
and since u ah hoe in a man's body i think your more use to TV/
see your flow is nicole ritchie...dumb, frail and bitch/
in fact im calling abc/
i got a show to pitch/
comedian staring as himself we'll call it a simple's life/
then put it on just after lost/
cuz thats where he fit's in right!/
theres nothing funny about u/
your skill's trash & u ass but....
i'll laugh when i rip your legs off/
then watch u try and do stand up

TO FINAL:

Nigga please, why try, you know that im kickin dweebs
But i cant say you suck. . . cuz then i`d be dissin feebs
this punch was okay, I know it was based on the quote. The only thing is, this style is kinda played as I've seen lines very similar to this based off biting someone else. If ur going to use this type of punch, the only thing u can do to make it more original is replace the "I can't say you suck" with something more creative..think of other cliches or ways to use wordplay in this situation
You sickin` me, even your fuckin` cars are worse, kid
So i`ll bash lack . . .without needin` to call for insurance
this concept is cool, the problem is it doesn't really work. It's AFLAC, not BASHLACK or ASHLACK.. so because of that, this doesn't quite work. Basically, think of it this way.. if u have to change the way something is pronounced for a punch to work, I'd avoid it.
And im lying, your shows stay bumpin` until there done
Cuz black doesn`t silence crowds
. . .I heard Z`s outta everyone
Z's concepts are a bit played as well. This is a different way of saying it, but your still saying the same thing about catching Z's which is played. With this kind of punch, if ur going to use the whole "doesn't silence crowds" thing, thats fine, just think of a more original way to finish it. Even something like "Black doesn't silence crowds... u can always hear the sound of feet running away" or something more original than Z's.. just basically saying with each concept think it through more
Faggots done, i waited awhile, parents wouldnt loan time
But I Didnt Care. . .
Cuz i doubted he`d come fresh, Or even write his own lines
There's no wit at all in this line. It's a diss, but really as simple one as you can get. If it doesn't have wit, just forget about it
So when i show mine, he`ll get mad and hate, so Kid pray
Before i pitch black. . . . . . . . . .in a ditch during mid day
pitch black idea was cool man. This was okay, but u kinda took the obvious route. Maybe if you'd made this into a pitch/baseball type punch this would have been better

Basically man, the way you start your concepts is fine, you just gotta be more witty with the execution of them and instead of goin' for the obvious route, bein' more creative.

meh, im sure i can use some improvement..

Dissing Trus and his Girlfriend

Your girl says you got a small unit.. and she's looking for a new man to hire
Cuz she said, if DaTrusHurtz, Then this dude must be a pathological liar..
With ur cheesy ass smile, son those dimples aint right..
Cause the craters on your face are big enough to host the first known alien life
Check your girls shirt B, I must say that im really impressed..
She told me she wanted no strings attached, so i cut it off and exposed her chest.
Look at your brow yo, Ur hair is going off course and shit..
Cuz those caterpillar-like eye brows, are in the beginning stages of metamorphosis
Are you horsin around?? Cuz that bitch has to be ur sister and shit..
With looks like those, i'm guessing ur biological father is sea biscuit??
You and ur bitch at the formal dancing like rookies
she told me she hasnt cut the rug in years..
...................i said it looked like bob marley was eating her pussy
When i horseplay, everyone elses style just bores me
meanwhile a horseplay, the leading role in DaTrus's life story
Nah but seriously im curious how can u let this fly??
ur girls suddam annoying i let her hang with the guy
Stanza's right u guys look good together, but she's really not hot sir..
but you are a nice couple........... of targets for the 12 gauge mossberg
your girls a little chunky, and its really rough g..
she has enough beef in her cheeks to make 50 file for bankruptcy

__________________

My Lines Are ILL yo

TO GA Arquetech:

no let me tie this in with film lets see who really lose/
this battle's MISSION IMPOSSIBLE but dawg...your no tom cruise/
see it's RISKY BUSINESS comeing at a LEGEND look..just stop son/
u LOSIN IT cuz FAR AND AWAY my verses make me TOP GUN/
i'll spit u DAYS OF THUNDER make it RAIN MAN u can't see me/
and since u ah hoe in a man's body i think your more use to TV/
see your flow is nicole ritchie...dumb, frail and bitch/
in fact im calling abc/
i got a show to pitch/
comedian staring as himself we'll call it a simple's life/
then put it on just after lost/
cuz thats where he fit's in right!/
theres nothing funny about u/
your skill's trash & u ass but....
i'll laugh when i rip your legs off/
then watch u try and do stand up

I'm not going to break this down bar by bar. But here's your problems

1) You need to avoid self-glory. Like that top gun line, all it does is hype you up and not diss your opponent. In battles here this is frowned upon. If your line doesn't diss your opponent, don't use it.
2) You have a lot of filler. Things that really just take up space and aren't disses. Like the ABC shit, that wasn't really a diss. I see where you were goin' with it, but the punch just wasn't there. Think of it this way, read your punchline to yourself and ask if you think that it would offend you if someone said it to you. If the answer is not at all, then its prolly not a good bar.
3) Fix your structure. First off, get rid of those /'s, they look newbish, only newbs use those. Also, put all your bars within 2 lines. Occasionally there is a time to use 3, but for now, I'd recommend just using 2 as its easier to read and putting your stuff on 3 isn't helping you and just makes it confusing to read.
4) I want you to read battles by other people to learn how to battle around here. Read battles in the archives from people who have good records in this league. You can learn a lot from us.

first thanks 4 the imput.

1.now the top gun was not the direct dis but my 1st 2 bars tell him to let me tie it in with movies all words highlighted are all tom cruise movies so the top gun line is not only self glory but also witty play on movie tittles ie me tieing it in with film.so i named 8 tom crusie movies

2.no the abc line is not a dis but it's not a filler line.that line ties in with the whole tv thing since i used tv to mean both transvestite and televison the punches are the nicloe ritchie line and since she stared in the simple life i thought i would play off that tv shows name and call him simple abc is also the station that airs lost so once again a play off another tv so lost is refering to the L's he takes. so if someone told me i was simple, with a frail flow and use to takeing loses then i would be offended.

3.as far as everything eles i will fix but useing punches with no content makes your verses sound hollow and im a complex writer by nature but i will dumb it down a bit for the sake of winning.

^^ duke that shit is way to complicated.. simplify ur lines more.. when ur dissing someone u dont gotta tie in movies into 6 lines

__________________

My Lines Are ILL yo

This Whole Game is Gettiin Lame So Fuck all Of Your Wack Usernames
Couldnt Drop Dope If I Shove Crack Up His Back and into His Brain
There's no way to reword this concept to make it good, the whole drop dope thing is played. Anything dope/crack is played. Think of it this way man, if the concept comes obvious to you, its prolly been done before
Im Wreckin His aim.....And Its Only The Begining of Shame
But The Middle of this Dame So Nigga's Know im Smokin This Jane
the punchline here is essentially, "I'm smokin' this jane". If someone said that to you, would you be offended? No, its just a statement, there isn't a diss in this
Shoot up His Spain So The Bitch Wont Scream Livin Levita Loca
All You'll Here is Livin....Bcuz The Rest of His Levita Gets Broke Up
now this concept was actually okay, haven't seen anything exactly like it before. But ur punchline makes no sense "Bcuz the rest of his levita gets broke up?" what does that mean? U coulda made the punchline more like

people need to stop bitchin, cuz to be u, their wishin
u've got that levita loca thing goin' for u...
...its just a shame ur barely livin

That's a quick rewording, could be much better, but thats the idea, make it into a diss instead of a statement
I Dont choke Up But word is you suck Cock & That Virus Hittin Ya Spots
Umm....I would Diss You But Thats The Only Reason You Cum Hot
same as the first bar.. cum lines are played, nothing u can do to make them good
So Ill Leave Yo Dumb Spots open For Early Recovery So You can Compete
Im Not Talkn Bout You fuckin Ya dad when I Was Talkin Bout Cum-Pete
blahhhhh, same as above
Ill Shot you With a Hi-C And Watch Yo Notes Drop To A Low Octave Of B
You A Dumb G....Must Explain Why The H I J In Yo Alphabets is H I V
this hardly makes sense.. i woulda made it more like
Fuckin' infected faggot, u ain't respected highly
U must drink a lotta Orange Juice...
... u gotta a HI-C that goes nice with ur HIV
Bitches Claim You Hot and I see You Get Landed in The Top Ten
But Ya Skills Is Like Soda in a Can..Neva Really Spose To Top Tin
I see what u were goin' for, but this is a bit of a stretch with the top tin thing.. if u gotta change the way somethin is said for it to be good, don't use it
You Cant See Me Must Explain Why Ya Punchez Are Mishits To Me
Bcuz Like A Clock I Hit With 2 45'z Like Its A Quater To Three
Don't use self-glory, its a pretty common rule.. if the bar is about you and not him, don't use it
Possibly Niggas Already Sponserin Me...So Votes Are A Ease
Ya Punchez Never Climax Like Whores They only a Tease
This idea is a bit played, but it coulda been okay.. maybe something more like this

Ur at the top of ur game n' ur gonna go really far
Ur punches always hit a climax...
.. everyone can see how small they really are

Something like that with the whole limp/small idea.. anywaymake it into a punch, urs dissed whores more than him, lol
Get Off Ya Knees Nigga's Stop Begging For Ya Punch To Hit
Waitin on Me To Sneeze So You Can Hopefully Touch my Spitz
played, same as the other played stuff
I Would Keep Goin but The First Blow Really Ending This Game
Yo Bitch Is Hot Like You...Must Explain Why Noone Wants To Us her name
really doesn't make sense and pretty weak

Your problem is that first off, your concepts for the most part are played and not original. You did have a few okay ideas though u could work with. Also, u don't seem to develop your concepts into punches, more into statements. Read the punchlines and make sure they are actually mean and dissing. Keep working on it man.

Thanx for the help man I see that now........

__________________

One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

He so gay, a guy robbed this fag and Final wanted to ravage the man
It didn't happen in Time Square but he still wanted what the Manhattan his pants
^ME vs FINAL

The first Comedian with no wit at all dissin me? Hell No!
He has no funny bone in his body
………………..I think this guy's even missin his Elbows
^ME vs COMEDIAN

I’ll try to stop insulting Seattle and bringing gays middle fingers
So now I’ll let Jon B(e),
…………………..since his punches are as played as that Singer
^ME vs JOHN HENSLEY

If he don’t like Cliché’s, who’s going THE WACK rout? homie I bet you….
Silence goes “Without saying” like Pantomime clowns performing for Deaf mutes
^ME vs BLACKSILENCE

You should worry about the 2 magnums I got on the dresser
One is for fucking your bitch, the other one will have you shot on a stretcher
^ME vs ACE

Piss’ed off or pissed on, golden shower guys gets hit wit something
The way he `Slurppee, Even 711 would think this kid’s Disgusting
And the slut girl his mom had? it’s nothing to diss her
If I keep hitting Jo$h’s thumb with a hammer?……
…………..He still won’t get `Fingerbanged as much as his sister
m too ruff for Jo$H, I’m clutching bats in the first place
When I swing he’s gonna “RUN HOME” quicker than players on 3rd base
^ME vs JO$HUA

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