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View Poll Results: ~Who Won This Topical Battle~ | |||
..:OutBreak:.. | 3 | 37.50% | |
CriTiC | 5 | 62.50% | |
Voters: 8. You may not vote on this poll |
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12-13-04, 08:08 AM | #31 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Uping for votes !!!
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12-14-04, 08:52 PM | #32 | |||
1926
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IP: 3240 794D
Voted For: ..:Outbreak:..
Both Were Pretty Even But They Both Took Different Directions... And Retro Chose To Tell A Story Wich I Liked Alot Better... So Since Everything Else Was Even Im Gonna Vote Retro For Invovling The Reader More... .One. |
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12-20-04, 08:24 AM | #33 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Uping,,,,,............
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01-01-05, 07:33 PM | #34 | ||||
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This was feedback posted for CriTiC
IP: 258C A279
just checking polls.....................
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..The Council..
7 Day Theory |
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01-04-05, 08:34 AM | #35 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Uping for votes,... !!!
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01-07-05, 08:57 AM | #36 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Uping for votes,,............................
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02-03-05, 08:30 AM | #37 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Uping for votessss.........................................
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02-03-05, 08:44 AM | #38 | ||||
The End
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IP: 06B8 DBF2
Well I cant vote for whatever reason, so I'll leave feedback.
Critic-- I feel that you are rhyming sort of text book style. Maybe you need to let your flow go a bit more.. Use some multi syllable and compound syllable rhyming more often.. To try and make your stuff sound more natural as opposed to being forced out. Thats just how I felt. Other than that, try and put meaning behind your lyrics.. Too many people just try and spark emotions with topicals, thats the easy way.. The proper way to make a topical verse good is by giving your opinion on an issue and teaching people something. If you can make people go "wow, thats changed my whole perspective" then you can be garenteed to have their vote. |
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02-04-05, 07:35 AM | #39 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Thanks for the feed Cain stay up man...
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03-02-05, 09:14 AM | #40 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: B3E3 82B1
Voted For: CriTiC
Retro: let me break your verse down...your approach on the topic wasn't exactly creative but it was hard to give it an original twist in fact. I liked how you managed to picture this feeling of fear, you described the house and all its terrifying aspects with such a sense of reality. Your vocab was good,not too basic but not too complex either. Some lines were a bit stretched though which affected your flow here and there. Structure was decent, emotion was good. Reader could really feel the terrible fear the person is going through and such. Good piece! CriTiC: I'm definately feeling your view on the topic and the way you twisted it allowed you to have a more emotional approach compared to Retro. I like how you described what the person went through as a stain that can't be removed because that's the reality in fact. Found a good balance with your vocab, flow was okay (bit stretched here and there but nothing too serious). Structure was nice and the emotion was raw, the feeling of pain that can't heal was very present in the piece. Dope drop! My vote goes to CriTiC for the better emotion and nice twist of the topic. Retro, you did very good as well but made it lil harder on yourself by going with the whole doom thing. DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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03-02-05, 09:45 PM | #41 | |||||
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This was feedback posted for ..:Outbreak:..
IP: 93C0 D1DD
Polls............................................. .................
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Knock Out Stroke
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03-03-05, 07:56 AM | #42 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Sup uping for close RV Fam,...
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03-03-05, 08:55 AM | #43 | ||||
E-Style, Bitch.
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IP: B1A5 868C
Voted For: CriTiC
Close battle here, nice strong topics from both... Critic, ya whole peice was really put together well, the flows was top notch, vocab was right on point, the scheme of the peice was real deep an creative, it started off really nice, an it got stronger as you went on, theres not really anything i can fault on your peice, everythin from the structure too the vocab an creativity was hard hittin an unfuckiwitable, real strong topic man Retro, the idea of your peice was like a horror movie lol, but it was alright, i feel the idea you had, was right on point, you just needed ta use your lines better, especially ta start off with, but you finished your peice pretty nicely, some of your stuff seemed forced, i know it wasnt, its just that it seemed that way after reading Critics peice, cause his stuff was right on point thruoughout an he used his vocab too more effect, ya understand? Ya hit hard Outbreak, or retro, watever you wannabe called lol, an you were creative, but you just didnt word your peice as well as critic an your vocab seemed like it was forced, seemed like you tried ta use bigger words an better grammar just because its topical, where as critics look like it came naturally, it was a dope battle, an much propps ta both, but Critic just gets it in my opinnon Dope stuff, good lookin out Fam, 1
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