|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-20-05, 09:59 PM
|
#61
|
|||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
Leady
Mixed CD Track Snippet
Verse Lyrics… Your lyrics are what I’m not too fond of… at least for the first verse. The second verse you stepped it up. Add a few complex multis. Voice/Presence Your voice sounds good over this. I love your energy. Your presence is great. You sound like you do live performances or used to spitting on the mic. Emotion/Delivery… You have a really good delivery. I have nothing to say about it. It’s pretty damn good. Flow… Your flow is fine. Work on clarity a little bit. For the majority, you clear.. Some parts I’m like >>  Overall You don’t have much to worry about but your lyrics. I’d say just up your lyrics some, especially the first verse… and switch up your rhyme scheme a little. Other than that, I wouldn’t recommend you change anything else.
__________________
|
|||||
  
|
|
|
08-20-05, 10:00 PM
|
#62
|
|||||
|
Outspoken
IP: 07A8 D079
OutSpoken
Let Me Hold You
Verse Lyrics… Your lyrics are pretty basic. For this type of song , it’s expected. Your lyrics are somewhat predictable. Get out of the habit of using common words to end your lines unless you pair them into complex multis. Far/heart … again/friends… No make some multis in your lines. It’ll sound better. Voice/Presence Your presence is decent. You need to get more comfortable on the mic. This will come through practice and over time.. The more tracks you make and the bars you memorize from each will help as well.. Emotion/Delivery… Your delivery is aight for a love song. Sound like you could have been reading a few lines. Memorize your lines before you spit them, it sounds much better. Also your quality is bad. Not just for your mic. But you are putting the actual song over the instrumental for the chorus. Do NOT do that. Search for the accapella then match the chorus portion to the instrumental and mix then down. THEN spit over that. Don’t layer the track like that it don’t sound right. Also with the effects, stop putting that loud ecko at the end of your verses. It sounds really bad. What you should do is record dubs.. This is how it’s done. There’s different ways to do it, but this is what works for me: Record your regular verse, first. Then grab a pair of headphones and playback your verse and spit the dubs (the rhyming portions, normally towards the end of your bars). Then play it back WITH the verse you spit and if they match-up and sound similar, then mix them down. Flow… Your flow is all over the place. Stop rushing so much. At some parts you rap real, real slow then you go Twista speed outta no where. Then Slow down and speed up again. But it’s not a smooth transition. You should work at rapping at a steady pace before you attempt going from one way to another. Overall You have a lot to work on, but I recommend you start with lyrics. You tryna concentrate more on flow but it’s all over the place because your rhyme scheme is bad... One thing I suggest is that you write bars and match the syllable count for them. This is only temporary, but when you get the hang of it, then you can be versatile and make better transitions to rapping fast, then slow again. But for now do the syllable count method. If you got questions on how to do that, then hit me up on AIM if you wish. For mixing, if you want, I can mix your tracks for you. You add a lotta unnecessary stuff to your track. -Y’all playin games, it’s done like monopoly (11)
Make the syllables match up and practice saying it, you’ll see it sounds more smooth. If you don’t match them up identically it don’t matter. Let’s say you have 12 syl on the first one and 13 on the next, it’s alright! Another reason I did this example is to show you what I meant by multis… Yeah the example is not so great but it’s similar to one I gave SPuL… “monopoly” and “no pot fo’ me” are what stands out in this one. The more syllables matched the better the sound on the beat. The first half not as great but “playin games” and “space in pain” is another example. I decided to keep them in two lines than write four separate lines. But you get the point hopefully. Inner rhymes are equivalent sounds, some people mistake them for multis but they lie within the bars (hence the name inner rhymes). But don’t worry bout those, most likely, you’ll end up doing them without recognizing. But try that way, just to see if it works for you. Park space in pain, it comes with no pot fo’ me (11) 
__________________
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
08-20-05, 10:09 PM
|
#63
|
|||||||
|
IP: 3B43 EB4A
...........
 ...
__________________
 [.Diabolic:.] |
|||||||
|
|
|
|
08-20-05, 10:10 PM
|
#64
|
||||
|
Champion
|
IP: 772A 2F9A
Yo ma im next rite?
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
|
|
|
|
08-20-05, 10:15 PM
|
#65
|
|||||
|
Intermental
IP: 07A8 D079
Intermental
Forgive Me
1 Verse Lyrics… *Punches you for using this beat. I love this beat.* Lyrically, this was too short for me to really mention any flaws and phrases that stand out. But what from what’s here, you had attempted punch-lines in here.. Your storyline is decent. Sounds like the typical Voice/Presence You sound mad young. Your voice alone isn’t very strong. Your presence is similar to one who has just started picking up a mic. You have to get comfortable on the mic. It will come in due time. Silence the beginning of your vocals and the end. The part where you hear the mic shuffling. Emotion/Delivery… This is your weakness. You have potential.. But at this point, if someone listened to this track.. They’d be like Does He Mean What He Say? If I was asked that question. I’d say no. Your voice doesn’t have heavy bass in it. Which is no problem (I am the exact same way). You have to put yourself in a whole different mental state. Think about a moment where you got straight pissed at someone or got into a fight. A moment where you were feeling an adrenaline rush. And use your words as if you were fighting. This don’t mean yell, just put more feeling into it. Flow… Your flow is decent from the beginning. But then you start losing the beat. If you tryna hit the snares, than stick to doing that. Because when you go off, you tend to lose your common spot. Then you start hitting snares every once in a while. You have to reconstruct your lines. Make them so they match up a little better. Aisha
Verses 1-2 Lyrics… Your rhyme scheme is even simpler than the previous track. Bad thing. You only have one verse on here… it sounds more like a spoken word than a rap verse. You have imagery in the last verse. But it’s REALLY basic. Clearly basic. Voice/Presence Your presence is a little better. Work on clarity. You want people to hear every word you say. Emotion/Delivery… This type of track is straight laid back. So I wasn’t expecting much from this. What you brought to it was decent. You had a little bit more emotion in here than in your first track. Maybe because it’s a love song. But who knows… I want you to feel like you in front of that girl you talking bout and pour your heart into your words and bring out how you feel a whole lot better, than you did. Flow… Your flow is a tad better. But you need to work on it a little more. You followed the beat a little better. But I still suggest you follow what I said in the previous song. Hocus Pocus
Verse Lyrics… Your lyrics are still basic. This is something you really gonna have to work on. No multis, no nothing. Just regular rhyme and a few inner rhymes.. You gonna have to step that up, playa. Voice/Presence You have a better presence. Still not comfortable and stable on the mic, but you getting better. I can see the difference. Emotion/Delivery… You add adlibs, Dubs were off in some places. That is annoying, make sure they line up better. Your delivery was pretty good on this track. It was a huge step from the last two tracks. Flow… Way better than the previous. But you gotta polish it a little better. You went choppy in some areas. Overall Your latest track proved you working on your flow. Glad to see that, but keep working at it. You need it to be as smooth and less choppy as you can get it. You need to work on your lyrics and rhyme scheme, this should be your main concern. Your presence is getting better by the track as well as delivery. Dubs are useful when used correctly. Try to keep your dubs lined up better with your original verse. I’m glad to hear you experimenting with adlibs, it made your latest track sound more ‘live’ than usual. I hope this is helpful to you.
__________________
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
08-20-05, 10:17 PM
|
#66
|
|||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
This is ordered in a first come, first serve basis. As I mentioned earlier in the thread. Next on the list is
FuxJustaWord Scruff Both will be posted either later tonight or tomorrow.. Upping for any others... 
__________________
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
08-20-05, 10:40 PM
|
#67
|
|||||
|
Sam Dope
|
IP: F15D F66F
Quote:
Good looks lady...I appreciate it. BTW, ur sexy  |
|||||
|
|
|
|
08-21-05, 12:07 AM
|
#68
|
||||||
|
Real Nigga, nigga.
|
IP: 73AC 79C8
__________________
. .....Get Soulclapped, E-Style..... t |
||||||
|
|
|
08-21-05, 12:14 AM
|
#69
|
||||
|
FuxJustAWord
|
IP: 3B27 2020
ohhhhhh well, i dont have any good songs on my SC really, lol, but u can look at that still i guess
|
||||
|
|
|
08-21-05, 07:50 AM
|
#70
|
|||||||
|
Addicted
|
IP: 347D 5FA0
thanks lady fiya appreciate it... yea i do perform live ALOT lol... lyrics i talk bout stuff really only UK ppl will relate to n dis particular track really wasnt about lyricism it was more about enjoyin myself n basically bein able to get ppl in da mood for vgoin wild lol... mad respect on da breakdown.. appreciate it
|
|||||||
|
|
|
08-21-05, 07:55 AM
|
#71
|
||||
|
E-Style, Bitch.
|
IP: FD2F 6364
Do YOU Want an audio brake down lady fiya?
Here..... Ya vocals are okay, dont stand out enough, If i had too compare your vocals too somthin tho, It would be a scared little mouse......Maybe you should take singin lessons an become a ciara type diva? hmmm, anyway, ya lyrical content is aight, Kinda benefitted from all ya text experience, but ya voice doesnt match ya flow, an until you can come out your shell an make your vocals stand out on tracks, you'll remain an average audio artist.
__________________
People Hate What They Can't Conquer |
||||
|
|
|
|
08-21-05, 09:22 AM
|
#72
|
|||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
Aight, Shittaboi...
-Number 1, it's *breakdown not Brake down*.. if I wanted feedback on my lastest songs of which I didn't post, don't you think I woulda posted them first..... Seeing that I would rather help others in the same way I helped myself, I thought this was a good thing. Once someone tries to do something nice, there's always gonna be one or two people conflicting it. Why? Because you have to reconstruct your wack ass crew and thought this was a better place to recruit? Ok. I won't stand in the way of your 'business'. Number 2, what 5 latest tracks are you basing your "theory" off of if I didn't post them yet. *crickets* Number 3, I'm glad you "attempting" to follow my trend, how cute.. "Let's Do what Fiya does in her own thread!" Thanx you and glad I'm inspiring you to follow my ways... Oh yeah, lol... Number 4, weren't you the one begging me in a pm to go to Raw Reality, saying you wanna squash the beef and think I'd be a great AUDIO asset? I guess then you were basing that off my 5 latest audios too, right? *cricket* And don't lie. I'll take the screenshot of that pm and post it. If you bitter just make a beef thread, don't clog this one up. By the way, Black~Magik you are welcome... and leady and all who took this as another opinion and saw that I was trying to help. Oh and even those who make pointless comments in the thread to "up" it. Thank you, I appreciate the support. Anybody else got a problem with me making this thread? If it's too much to bear or some shit let me know, I'm not going any further as of now. So thank all the negative comments tryna pull down a thread that's supposed to help people. Just thought this thread was to help y'all get better feedback than those similar to the post above me.
__________________
Last edited by ~Lady Fiya~ : 08-21-05 at 09:33 AM. |
|||||
|
|
|
|
08-21-05, 09:47 AM
|
#73
|
|||||||
|
Addicted
|
IP: 347D 5FA0
well i vguess dis just proves i am under-rated and slept on judgin from ur breakdown lol ive allways said it but ya know ppl like to mhate and ride particular people brap brap... if u ever post summin new up lemme know i wudnt mind takin a listen
|
|||||||
|
|
|
08-21-05, 10:05 AM
|
#74
|
|||||||
|
You Cant Handle The Truth
|
IP: CD5E E278
maaaaaaaaaaaaan FUCK that bitch, keep doin' ya thang and just get a staff member to come in here and delete everything but people posting for feedback and the feedback given...sticky this thread here and clean it out...the end...
__________________
 ^ WE - RAWWCAST - 24/7 ^ Quote:
Quote:
|
|||||||
|
|
|
|
08-21-05, 10:14 AM
|
#75
|
|||||||
|
Addicted
|
IP: 347D 5FA0
L u need to use msn more often i cnt use AIM at all
|
|||||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
