A slave to the pen...

Balled up in a corner......I try to refrain from it
But my brain plummets, & the flames cometh
The flames that will begin my brain’s summit
To the very paramount of its creative process
This is something you might see as progress
But not me........See, it’s a scheme by my pen
To act like she is my godsend, So that I spend
All my time with that bitch, instead of my ken...
She makes me say goodbye to all my friends...
I don’t want too, but what can my defense be,
When my pen & imagination work against me?
They want to consume everything that I know
& use it in weird ways, cause they say I’ll grow
But I know that deep inside, they’re deceivers
So my pen tries, and get me to believe her
And my imagination intrigues her, on topics...
They force me to adopt this way & not knock it
It is all because of them that I don’t got shit
Except random writings & a nervous twitch
That serves as this, clock which’s purpose is
To force me periodically to spurt this shit
In multi-syllable rhymes, and switching flows...
Not often switching clothes, and I’m missing those
Times when I was in control on the life I lead...
But she convinces me that this is the life I need
So in strife, I heed...
And I become submisive to the pen...nothing is sweet.....
She leaves me in a dark room...With 1000 poems and nothing to eat.....

-Archival

Great title...slave to me...Hmmm....Good choice...anyway..your piece was okay..good flow with good content..peace..~checkout ...I...

I liked this....good structure in it.....Nice concept i thought....made a good read....the flow in this was good, it stayed on point through the whole thing, flowed pretty smoothly i thought....you had some nice multies in this, liked the ones in the begining lol but they were good through the whole thing....overall a nice piece man.

^Thanx for taking time to read. Pen, I forgot about you. I gotta go, but when i get back in a couple hours I'll reply to your shit.

yeha flow stayed on point throughout this shit
hot peice, good vocab and didn't over do it and make it too complicated to understand
got the message clear mna
nice drop

This flow was dope, it was damn tight, i liked the multis, this went over a beat so damn nice, your content tied in with the topic nicely with it being quite universal to relate to, but i didnt see any lines like they waoh, but it was one of the better open mics i read for quite a while, the flow on this was the best part by far, the multis and sylable count is def dope. pz and stay up

I've Returned all favors.

that shit was hard.............................................. .......propz........................

__________________
IM UNSTOPPABLE
LIKE 50 IM UNPOPPABLE/
ILL PUT MORE WOOD IN YA GIRLS MOUTH THAN A POPSICKLE/

<Center><img src=http://rapwize.2xx.org/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=4177 border=0></Center>

^You shoule be banned.

Good shit man man i like this............the opening was ill
Balled up in a corner......I try to refrain from it
But my brain plummets, & the flames cometh
Very nice! One of the few good ones ive seen.........the flow was there an was very consistent......and it was easy to read as well.........This would be an excellent audio man i would love to hear it if you ever get it on it........keep up the good work an hit mine up if you have the chance.........

Not Enough to be a Dope Emcee
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110121

yo i liked this shit nice topic stayed on point a nice set of multies it was a good read nothin to say bad about it cause the imagery took the place of lackness in wordplays which made this even better kepp doin ya thing
holla

__________________
shut the fuck up

even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

dead in middle of little of little italy
little did we know that we riddle
some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun

you may be new to RB but i guess you used to write before you came here, you have a good start there, you just need to build on what you have to make it untouchable, you have grasped the basics, a couple of months down the line, i'm sure you'll be improving and on the way up.

Thanks for replying to my open mic drop, i appriciate the feedback.

i can see talent there...

nice work...nice concept/scheme...flowed well and had some nice multis..keep up the good work

__________________
The only defintion that matters...

Word Definate N Slik Shadow Vs. PROOF N Teflon

NO SHOW BITCHES : Hit_Man

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