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Old 08-05-04, 02:14 AM   #1
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Posts: 1,382
From: Bronx, NY
check this out, lookin to elevate...

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hey, check this out, some of wat i was writin the other night tell me what i need to work on i havent written anythin in a while so tell me what i need to work on, its not a story or anythin i just write watever to try and get better wit words

them rhymes is shit on sticks compared to me/
lyrics will pull u from ya fake shit down to my reality/
and naturally,i see the only way for me to be free would be/
to take every emcee from bronx to long beach/
and not hesitate to show that i aint comin friendly/
My rhymes will bounce off the mic and burn ya hands/
the burnin liquid will eat at ya hands like the hanibal man/
ill beat u wit a dustpan till ya ears start bleeding/
blood will be so nasty ill call it anal leakage/
those "gangsta" rappers think they could rhyme u think im stupid/
they couldnt rhyme if their name was lucifer,behavior all elusive/
wit them stupid guns and ratchets/
ill be dammed if they come at me wit 2 automatics/
ill come at u with no suprises/show u i aint lyin/
i speak the truth/go against me ill bring ya face to my boot/
and shove it through the ground roots/
until the dirt clogs up into ya tooth/
u cant doubt this can cause an exodus/
have people wit slit,split wrists cuz they cant deal wit it/
ya mad cuz my rhymes is takin over u like the excorcist/
ya so embarrased ya face is gettin bloaded bigger then chris/

just some stupid shit, i still think its kind of simple,and would like someone to tell me wats wrong and wat was good and help me to elevate thanks
peace
 
Old 08-05-04, 02:45 AM   #2
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Posts: 1,382
From: Bronx, NY
IP:

anyone? lol
ima go to sleep its 2:45 here
would appreciate it if you could tell me any good qualities i got or ones im lacking like wordplay or lyrics, flow and stuff thanks
peace
 
Old 08-05-04, 05:02 AM   #3
Introspect.
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rofl this is by far tha wackest open mic ive ever seen u didnt have any vocab structure was awful......
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Old 08-05-04, 05:03 AM   #4
Introspect.
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^^speaks tha truth................nuff said..................
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Old 08-05-04, 06:15 AM   #5
raw killa
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virtue speaks out his ass "dats da truth nuff said" ignore dis pussy he tlk shit 2 every1
nive drop jus work on punches,multis,metas,wordplay,structure a bit u'll b doin ayt keep doin ya thing homie peace nigga fuck these hataz like virtue ignore it...its dat time of da month nah mean....lmmao
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Old 08-05-04, 12:56 PM   #6
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Posts: 1,382
From: Bronx, NY
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aight thanks ill work on a lot of stuff then post another in a few months
peace
 
Old 08-05-04, 12:59 PM   #7
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Posts: 1,382
From: Bronx, NY
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virtue instead of lashing out on me like a dick why dont u atleast give me some advice,im not a veteran to this and im askin for help wat do u expect
 
Old 08-20-04, 09:41 PM   #8
badgurl3136
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yo u need to work on ur word play alot...but u keep tryin u'll get it some time
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Old 08-20-04, 10:23 PM   #9
intensify effect
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another BX member holla at ya boy.....

BX IN THIS BITCH...

and the drop was preety good u could elevate a little bit and some multis and get more creative but other then that not a bad drop....

6.5

drop some feed on my shit......

its called HOLD-THAT-FREESTYLE....
 
Old 08-20-04, 10:39 PM   #10
sinn
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yeeeee man if this is some of ure 1st raps n shit that aint bad, jus cut out those half bars u got, that dont really tie in to anything, and jus ionno PRACTICE, but keep tryin pimpin, PEACE
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Originally Posted by chamorropit
man sinn u one crazy fuck but u come tight wit ur lines i like reading ur shit ur one of da few kats on dis shit dat keep it real
 
Old 02-11-06, 10:12 PM   #11
Indeph
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From: Chicago, IL
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OM of the month freal. Hall of fame it goes.
 
Old 02-12-06, 12:22 AM   #12
Ysdat
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^buahahahaha.

you must of been pissed off to up this old ass thread.
 
Old 02-12-06, 01:09 AM   #13
Kawn Flixx
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Closed lmao...

For your sake.
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