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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-09-05, 09:29 PM
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#1
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Jail Break Ft MakeShyft Legendary Peice
IP: 31C2 62EB
Make Shyft Blunt'Ed My eyes slowly awake, an I can feel my life passing away day by day Walking around this cage.. i can feel my soul slowly bein taken away This cell's getting old, Im slowly possessed cause my life's on hold Not knowing what's going to happen to me, just letting my life unfold And yet, these captive measures are a threat,escape knicks my head Layin down in my bed,i wonder if stayin in my cell is better then being dead I get up, wash my face slowly, glance in the mirror, see my inmate Little did i realize that soon...... we would be sharing the same fate.. Turnin around,I prepare the most risky question in my life "Is there a way out" I had my life on the line, My family and everyone I cared for to think about Bad mistake, I turn around.. again start shaving my face.. but wait I just have to its me only way for freedom, my only chance of escape.. I look in the mirror again, this time theres a smirk on his face, and I breathe easy Thinkin of the situation,just embrase myself for atask that wasnt goin to be easy We shake hands.... then get right to work, stressin' cause my mind is overworked Not aware of the moment to come......and bad situation that soon lurked I know, there is a way out, and the mirror just screams in an unlocked manner As I looked under my bed...for my secret stash,the plan i take a gander "The Night Before" I got out of bed, With Idea's just flowing through my head Got some paper, and let my mind flow through the lead Planning my excape, wasnt going to be easy,But worth a try Its a shot in the dark, but this jail cell ain't where ima die Listing everything step by step,Making sure i dont miss a thing The blueprint design was bound to my vision like a wedding ring Finishing it then, revised it, making sure there were not flaws Im so full of adrenaline, like they injected my veins with nos After i revised it and made sure there were no mistakes..It was Time The devil got the hard copy, but I pocketed that shit, and broke the design Tieing up my pants tight..so i could run full speed..There No Turning back ]Everything is ready, and I prepare for this task, just hope the plan is exact "Its Time" Its morning, the day of reckoning and I'm so crazyily tense.. As i get ready for whats going to happen my mind stays in suspense I tell the dude in the cell next to me, his daughters a whore Unscrewing the sink..making no noise even when it hits the floor. Callin out to all the other inmates, insulting with every punchline do-able Saying Fuck this cell..and this prison,While i make sure my escape is persuable The sink is off, we kick at the brick until it breaks in then We crawlinto the hole..Tryin to escape and not do this again 15 minutes, that's what we got before the guards count, gotta follow the route Steady pace, this fractional moment is mute,hopin' our plan will free us no doubt I becon for my accomplis to follow, the hallways are narrow, being squeezed so tightly,can I reach my goal?or face more years of sorrow. I can smell food from the kitchen, the vent is near, and I Crawl and Moving w/steath Just trying to get by not wanting to die I bash the vent in with my foot, we crawl in, I hear a guard Moving Slowly, i move around him , jump down and strike hard Its killing time, my nerves jump, the guard is down, we hurry up looking at the fallen gaurd,laughin in his face,Staring death closeup Grab his clips and load up, got enough explosives for fatty koo to blow up Kicking the gaurd one more time..and watching as he throw up The vent leads to the backside of the building, we'll need to break necks Shyt this seems complex..making us look like a eviler version of malcom x. Busting out the vent, two badges on my left, took the pistol to they neck Firing at will...hitten them while they flex...what else you you expect? three spoons from my pocket movin fast like a rocket, draw my shotgun then cox it Watching gaurds vest split..and them falling bit by bit..Damn..what did we commit!? Murder, and were in it together, man don't slip, I turn to the fence I got you man, we started it and we gon finish it , at any expence.. No time to repent, grab a spoon, start diggin' a hole big enough to fit in Scrapping hard..hoping this will open quick,like skinning some animal skin Rippen at the ground, I can taste the free air, as I hear "catch the prisoners" My heart start to beat faster ,tying to escape , and not have another cell vistor. Game time, the hole's ready, pull the pin and throw the impact grenade then run We finally did it!looking out for each other , trying to see our loved one.. Dash into the parking lot, break the window, and jack the car while he cover fires Trying to escape this jail cell and hard living,doing what ever my heard desires Were off, the police on our back, I drive to border, mexico here we come Were not out of the woods yet..But were close to ............Free-dom..! An appatche helicopter chaingun is knicken the road we dirve on, I can see ahead One of our tires pop, struggling to keep control..not trying to die now,we dread See Bone Kick the windsheild off, blazin his automatic at the law Not giving a damn..coming this far,ill be damned if im stopped by the devils claw I can smell beans and burritos were near, I catch a bullet to the chest An ina split second our quest had taken a huge turn as Shyft was almost put to rest Back when we jacked that guard, I took his vest, and now we seconds away freedom As were almost there... i realise we had did it ..and our time has come.. Im laughing as we pass the line, pull a gun on my wife's murderer as were free As i turn to shyft he is about to pull the trigger?i ask all we just did for you just to kill me? I used you, and still you refuse to accept the fact that your a dead man? You did me wrong?!, i helped you escape,Killed the gaurd,& even made the plan Naw dawg, your clownin' you sat in the corner amountin to nothin' but a pawn I cant believe this,You fucked me over,& what your just gon kill me and be gone?! I push the gun harder to his temple, I can feel his heart fluttering mad After all I did..and all i went through..it ends like this..this is just sad You strangled the life outta my life what the fuck are you to expect For Us to escape jail ,Live life...and be free..as a Murder Suspect How the fuck is that sensible, im gonna fucking shot you, ask God for forgiveness Your making a big mistake that your going to regret..As your life progress I swear to God, you have 5 seconds to live, so seriously man, make your last wish Tell my family i love them..and i escaped but YOU made me swim with the fish.. Swim with the fish? you drowned her didn't you, then drank her blood,Didnt you! Smf...Yes i did .. i drowned her..watched here die..then drank her blood its true.. Your sick perverted, I don't know how to kill you.. Ill cut you up Do it like i did to your wife...Drain my blood and put it ina cup You did my wife.. im going to seriously saw your forearms off Id like to see you Harm youself ....yes i said it *cough*cough* My finger pulled the trigger, but in the split second before death i realized His Eyes were my eyes...and i was my own person ..the person i despised Jason Treason, some say hes a legend, others.. a complete failure, the only man ever to break and escape a high security institue for crimes and minds deemed unstable.. no one really knows what went on inside of his car, some say the corpse looked as though.. he was aching to die, and thriving to stay alive... truly a split decision
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The Competition
 Last edited by Blunt'Ed. : 11-15-05 at 05:58 PM. |
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10-09-05, 11:06 PM
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#2
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The Rise
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IP: 24BB 344D
wow at how fuckin long this shit is...might aswell get it published and win a blue bonet fuck...well anyways.I like how you 2 collabed on this,seemed like you fuckers put alot of work into it,The structure is good not hard to read,The flow was good even though you just say a line then he says a line,Vocabulary in this was nicely put,like i had to open up a webster dictionairy for god sake,Imagery ok didnt really catch me,Emotion was good ,i was feelin the last bar...werd,overall this was a good OM....8/10
i would of rather seen like 2lines from BC then 2lines from MS...but this work out good at the end... |
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10-09-05, 11:08 PM
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#3
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IP: 31C2 62EB
^Word thankz for the feedback ...Ill hit your OM up
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The Competition
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10-10-05, 09:11 PM
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#4
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Bump This Shizznit
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The Competition
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10-11-05, 01:13 PM
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#5
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Nt Your Average
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IP: FEA7 665B
long but dope good shit man nice use of vocab n good wordplay good structure good shit keep up
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OYD MAFIA
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10-11-05, 11:08 PM
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#6
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Word thankz upping for some more feedback
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The Competition
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11-06-05, 10:55 PM
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#7
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Upping this again.............
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The Competition
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11-07-05, 03:07 AM
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#8
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: E0AB 9D96
Yo, Bone: I think it might have went better with more difference in the verses (who was who) b/c at first, I admit im drunk, I thought it was the same person with two verses to seperate you two.
Anyways, dope ass collab, even though your styles collided with one another, not to bad, but they did, it was sill dope and written well. BC: you lines were usually longer, usually easier to understand, however the simplicity of your work was excellant in the aftermath. LP: I thought your lines held more imagery, were shorter but I felt they hit harder and overall upped the collab two fold. Again, nice ass collab. I enjoyed the read and appreciate the activity in OM. Peace.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate  The unexamined life is not worth living.
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11-13-05, 10:53 PM
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#9
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Thankz mentalz...bump this for more feedback.
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The Competition
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11-14-05, 08:31 PM
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#10
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Upping this again...will return feedback.
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The Competition
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