Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
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04-09-05, 06:41 PM | #1 | ||
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~Fate Under the Constellation~
IP:
Night after night I search each window pane from my bedroom The moon is the main attraction, the scattered stars, my best view I’m never looking for answers, just exploring the upper, outer field I can feel my soul just kneel to what life has stored and will reveal In a dream I can see myself looking classy, leaning on a balcony The same stars shining through the gem on my neck, no agony Just relaxing against my body as the air became wind for an instant Then I opened my eyes once to see the vision’s more than distant I separated the prophecy apart from any reading, truth is abliged Even when it’s full, the crescent of the moon always lean in my eyes -Lady Fiya April 9th
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04-10-05, 08:50 AM | #2 | ||
Odi et Amo
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IP:
Enjoyed reading this, bit short though so are you thinking of expanding it? Because the concept is real good in my opinion, would make a beautiful piece if you expanded it I think. But it's already nice in fact, found a good balance in your vocab between complex and basic. The imagery was strongest aspect of it together with the emotion because you managed to make those two as one actually. I like how you worded everything, you have a nice and interesting writing style. Made me think about some stuff here and there.
DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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04-10-05, 09:43 AM | #3 | ||
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IP:
yeah i did it short on purpose *heea hee lol*... i am gonna expand it actually, i was gonna do it twice as long with more detail in between.. but yeah thanx for the feed ma...
1
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04-10-05, 12:18 PM | #4 | |
**the council**
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IP:
nice drop, imagery was good and vocab usage was nice......keep doing it
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04-10-05, 07:21 PM | #5 | ||
Light Weight
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IP:
keep em comin'
sweft
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04-11-05, 05:40 PM | #6 | ||
Banned: Cheating
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IP:
i liked this, im sure a lot of peeps can relate
keep it up |
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04-27-05, 11:55 PM | #7 | ||
Play Nice or Play Dead
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IP:
pure dopeness ma. this was a dynamite drop. get at ya chi-town fam!
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04-28-05, 04:47 PM | #8 | ||
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
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IP:
yeah i liked it! n i liked the length, it kinda keeps u wonderin, dont havta be longer to be better!
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