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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-15-04, 09:47 PM
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#1
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_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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Forest of Agony
IP: CF61 4449
....Pain And Suffering Are Number One In The Forest Of Agony.... ....Snapped Branches, Stab At Eyes, And Slit Feet To Leave You Staggering.... ....Cutting Open Flesh From Head To Toe, Is What Goes On In These Woods.... ....The People Of The Forest, Find Pleasure In Pain, They Say This Is Good.... ....Poking At Your Neck With Sharpened Javelins.... ....The Indians Of Agony, Find Bones For Shatterin'.... ....They Approach Passers By Just To Mutilate Thyne Body.... ....Then Leave The Flesh On the Bone, So It Starts Rotting.... ....Gouging Eyes Out With Knives, These People Made From Rocks.... ....Then Chopping Off Each Limb, To Make Them Go Into Shock.... ....To them This Is Tradition, To You It's Vile And Unrighteous.... ....They Say That If The Killing Stops, Then Also Stops The Sun's-Brightness.... ....The Ledgend Of The Wood, The Campers Favorite Ghost Story.... ....Sittin In The Forest Of Agony, And Then it Starts Pouring.... ....If You Happen To Be In The Woods, When This Occurs Then Run.... ....Because The Tribe Of Agony And Pain, Kills All So Your Life Will Be Done.... ....As I Wrap Up This Tale Of The Pain You May Find Between The Trees.... ....The Indians With Tomahawks, And Their Belief In Water And Breeze.... ....Don't Enter The FOrest Of Agony, It Will Cause You Much Pain.... ....Unless Of Course It's A Cloudy Day, Cause These People Are Scared Of Rain.... ....So Enter This Forest At Your Own Risk, But Don't Say I Never Warned You.... ....Because These Indians Are So Quick To Kill They'll Be The Ones To Out Perform You.... ....They'll Leave You Dead And Burried The Pain Will Hurt To The Point Of Agony You'll Die.... ....It All Depends If You Listened, Because If You Did Then You Won't Go Inside....
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_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse _-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I.... ....Tragic..Death..II....  _-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
Last edited by SyaNidal : 02-15-04 at 10:23 PM. |
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02-15-04, 10:11 PM
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#2
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New to RB
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IP: 062A 25C8
I'm loving the concept man, ...least i think i am, the indians those who hate, the forest the place where they are, and you shouldnt go... hahaha meaning aside though im thinking this is some ill stuff, dig the way everything is described and the way you put that together, little bit of feeling here, lot more there, and just enough where its needed. Though that last line kinda takes me out of the feeling, find it funny, a bit upper mood than the rest of it, but at the moment I'm not looking for laughs and its making me think you were in a hurry to end it
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02-15-04, 10:24 PM
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#3
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_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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IP: CF61 4449
I've FIxxed it since then yea i wus in a hurry to finish/\
__________________
_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse _-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I.... ....Tragic..Death..II.... _-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
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02-16-04, 04:20 PM
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#4
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_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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IP: CF61 4449
up up...
__________________
_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse _-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I.... ....Tragic..Death..II.... _-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
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02-16-04, 05:14 PM
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#5
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IP: 3DEF 9A9C
Nice topic. I liked the whole idea of it. very different. Mos def a very interesting read.
u controlled all ure emotion, and taking objects from a forest,( twigs and such) and conceptionally used them to describe this place of agony you have created. Very nice. You created your one whole through i poem. Nice stuff. ~holla if ya hear me |
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02-16-04, 05:22 PM
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#6
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Middle Weight
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IP: B6E9 E937
Interesting piece. I felt emotion, but not alot of it. It was alot of pain, very descriptive. strange piece, i didnt really find a message, i guess its beyond me. I did however enjoy it, mostly because of the imagery. The imagery was strong throughout the whole poem. I could imagine the woods very well, with almost eerie sightings. Strange, yet i liked it. definetely shows off talent, keep doin ya thing.
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 Po'Ethics.
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02-17-04, 10:39 PM
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#7
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_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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IP: CF61 4449
some feed on this please
leave a link n ill hit it up...
__________________
_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse _-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I.... ....Tragic..Death..II.... _-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
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02-17-04, 10:51 PM
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#8
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
This was dope...you really write good topicals...very emotional and creative piece i thought. the way you put forth the imagery and base of this poem/song was awesome. vocab was good as was the meaning. very good concept. keep at it.
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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