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Old 07-14-05, 12:54 PM   #1
Artik Phrost
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.In Tears.

IP: 6E69 7B24

In Tears

*Each Tear Holds A Story

..........Please Baby!...Dont Hit Me!..
..........Its's 2AM...My God, Where Is He?..
..........Why Doesn't He See The Person Within Me


*Each Story Shows Naivety

..........I Have To Remeber He Has A Short Temper..
..........He Went To Visit His Mother, Maybe He's With Her..
..........Maybe He'll Lyke Me If I Was A Little Thinner..

*Each Act Of Naivety Brings Reality

..........Mrs. Jenkins Called The Police..They Issued A Restraining Order..
..........He Took My Pay Check...Something About Being A Child Supporter..
..........The People At The Hospitol Told Me I Have An Eating Disorder..

*Each Spirt Of Reality Releases The Truth

..........I want To Die..
..........I want To Die..
..........Why Don't I Just Die?..

In Tears
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Old 07-15-05, 07:06 AM   #2
DQ
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Girl, do me a favor! Next time pleasssssse make it longer because this had nice potential but I would've liked to see more details ya kno. Had a good amount of emotion, nice storyline, good imagery but please make it longer next time! I like the concept as well, nice nice...
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Old 07-15-05, 07:48 AM   #3
Dervla
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True. Nice drop here, got that emotion in there. Imagery is goodie, like DQ said you got potential and I wished it would be longer. Vocab is a must to be upp. ^^ I dont know what DQ ment by story-line cause there aint none, lol. But Nice I liked this drop, next time make it longer...Peace.
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Old 07-15-05, 12:07 PM   #4
Artik Phrost
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thanx...yeah, i didnt get too into writing this...cuz i wrote it for my buddy's class assignment...and she told me not to go off on the deep end....but i appreciated it...
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Old 07-21-05, 01:56 PM   #5
Artik Phrost
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bumpity bumps.....
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