uhh pay attention.....




Only GOD can understand why I
killed the man that I love infedelity erect like
penises filled with cumm////
sex confessions on the floor
ignoring vibrating pagers, he took a pause
for the call then leaving 4 min later////
Information on the mating on him and many of girls withdrawing
tears from my eyes ejaculating my world////
arguments about the wims (women) continuing in the kitchen
which resulted with my weakness touchin, lickin, and kissin////
My craniums capacitated with thoughts of him and the others
even thought for a moment he was pluggin' his own mother////
leaving on the late night with
businesses styll unmentioned his lies long like
extentions this could have been long prevented////
family telling me to leave without a trace or a word and let him
think he got the best that sounded crazed and obsurd////

Dayum BaKardii finally snapped the calliburs in her hand sitting in her rocking chair the pistol cocked for her man////
asking questions of how could he, why did he do me this way the only reason that his death will be a quater to 8'////
conviction of the mind thrillers and my senses are numb only thing I feel right now is the strength of the gun////
feet wiping on the rug, jangles pockets for keys ready to end his
cheating life and I'm not gonna flee//// aimed str8 for the head not the heart or the ribs watched him cradle like a baby in the comfort of cribs//// called the cops and said I killed him and it blood on the floor, interrogations of the reasons why I just did'nt go//// I loved the man who did me wrong, and revenge was a must, and the judge replied well you can spend your life here with us////

it's short I know but feedback please.....

critique narcolepticz never prosper

ummm... yup my man would die if something like that happened... yup I would have gone into more detail of how I killed him because it would be the best part... but yea... nice piece ma OoNnEe

thnx
*~Holler~*

^^^^^

... I crime of passion... lol... I liked it girl, I really did... there seems to be alot of heart put into this... alot of emotion... and you express it well with your words... deep
I was feeling the flow and vocab, good rhymes too...

I usually don't write rhymes like this... you know, emotional ones... but I'm posting one soon calld 'Broken', if you spot it, check it out... peace

thnx for the reply
I'm uppin this
*~Holler~*

nice piece there girl.U wuz talkin like u had actually done tha crime..or sumthin.Either ill verse and hope to see more from ya.Stay ^
-Avi

^^^^

^^^^

now i know i have seen you before.....
anyways this was a great read entertaining made me think and visualize i give a ten

thanx....still uppin

Deep...I liked it. I could relate in a way to this, cause last year I wanted to kill my b/f...now my ex. But I'm tellin' you, if he wasn't a 200lb big tough guy, i woulda. lol. peaz.

(lol)
I feel you ma' don't get me wrong tho I did'nt kill him we just squared up meaning we fought, in the end we BOTH went to jail though (nuthin nice)
thnx 4 da reply
*~Holler~*

I could not find the flow...but if it was just a story it was greatly done. Very emotional. Shit though, I would not want to be your boyfriend, shit, if you came at me with a gun I'd clap the shit out of you LMAO...good vocab....well semi....keep it up. By the way...can you help me find the flow.....?

Peace Out and PCP!