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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-04-05, 07:07 PM
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#1
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Banned: Cheating
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Masked Disguise
IP: 119E 7433
all well explained feedback will be returned masked in disguised.. witnessed this fellows lies late at night she sits and cries.. wishes for her demise cant act in this state of depression as difficult as it is to see this fellow drowns her out with his constant negativity each day she lives.. theres one scar on her wrist each dream she has.. shes dreaming of absolute bliss although it is impossible his abusive self is unstoppable she wont live in harmony this living style is intolerable what must i do to conclude this maddness to stop her everlasting excruciating sadness to stop and think that this fellow is still alive for how many women has he been able to deprive how can she survive the circumstances she was given she rejects sexual acts and his temper becomes high risen his grip on her throat becomes unbearable to withstand her life just gives out as shes overpowered by a hand... its so simple to solve.. how was i not able to see inside this beast is a man.. and that man is me http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202323 link |
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08-04-05, 07:11 PM
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#2
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
uppin for feed please.....best i have ever written no doubt so all feed back will be apreciated and i will RETURN THE FAVOR
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08-04-05, 07:14 PM
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#3
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Do Re Mi
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IP: 119E 7433
very emotional.. sort of dark feel to it..
gives me the image of a rainy day.. the flow was on point.. topic made for a good read.. i was really feelin the ending.. it was kinda scary to read that it was you.. im assuming that was not true lol.. i got no real complaints on this one Taz.. overall rating for this open mic............... ahhh.. uummm.. its tough to sayy... im thinkin 8ish but im leanin towards 9 lets give it a 8-9 out of 10.. keep at it
__________________
crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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08-04-05, 07:15 PM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
much appreciated man....i will rtf
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08-04-05, 07:54 PM
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#5
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BeAnToWN rEp
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IP: 28AD 5545
that was a good om...prolly da best i've read from u so far....very emotional...lol....it was easy to read....ending was good...wasnt expecting it ...good shit....keep ritin...u keep gettin better and better
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08-04-05, 07:57 PM
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#6
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
much appreciated man..thanks^^^...........still lookin for more people
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08-04-05, 08:42 PM
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#7
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the real man of steel
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IP: 231D FEDA
This was a good om....i was feelin the twist it had......u had good structure an vocab Flowed Perfect...... this was one the best i seen lately.....i give it a 8.5/10.....keep it up famz....
__________________
E-Style
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08-04-05, 08:51 PM
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#8
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
thanks man appreciate it......keep it comen please
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08-04-05, 11:26 PM
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#9
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
uppin.....dont sleep on me fam...
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08-05-05, 12:17 AM
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#10
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: 897D 9545
this was good, very emotional, imagery was good, flow was pretty good, liked the twist at the end, keep it up man
__________________
 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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08-05-05, 12:34 AM
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#11
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
thanks man appreciate it^^^ still lookin for more,,,,bumpity bump
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08-05-05, 02:59 PM
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#12
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
Dont be sleepin on my Rv Can i get some feedback please
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08-06-05, 06:38 PM
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#13
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 1DA3 D6AD
................................................
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08-08-05, 01:53 PM
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#14
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
Uppin...leave some feedback yo stop sleepin
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