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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-10-05, 08:17 PM
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#1
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43-7-33 KO's
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Me And You[Part-One]
IP: 93C0 D1DD
I Guess We'll Never Make It Me & You Being Together, Coz We've Bin Through 4 Times And It Still Aint Better My Mind Is Interwind With Your Scent And Your Smell When Will I See You Is What I'm Saying Before The Bell I Hear All This Whispering Going On, About Me And You I'm Stuck In A Position To Not Know If It's False Or True Girl, All I Wanted Was You,Now Your Gone What Will I Do Thinking About You At Home, Before I Sleep An In School I Tryed To Make It Work The Best I Could, So What's Hood? The Advice Your Friends And Mine Gave, Never Did Me Good Now I'm Sitting In My Room, On This Late Night AfterNoon Hoping Some How, And Some Way You'll Be With Me Soon Wrote This just Today, True Story, Go Ahead And Leave Feed |
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02-10-05, 09:14 PM
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#2
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43-7-33 KO's
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Can't Nobody Leave Feed, This Is my FIrst Poem Thing |
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02-11-05, 12:15 PM
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#3
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP: 4037 18E4
Structure: Flawless
Flow: Decent Topic: played but ok... Vocab: Decent Emotion: On point Imagery: lots of i say dope for first attempt fam...jus b more adventurous in what you write about and how you express yourself...use more metaphors, similies etc... overall -7.5/10 Peace THE JURY -AC
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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02-11-05, 12:43 PM
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#4
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Banned
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IP: A1EC 8B20
4,000 post????
and u would be??? i mean befor the name change???? |
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02-11-05, 06:38 PM
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#5
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43-7-33 KO's
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
I'm Your Worst NightMare, Upping This |
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02-12-05, 03:03 AM
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#6
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43-7-33 KO's
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Upping This Ish.... |
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02-13-05, 05:43 AM
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#7
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43-7-33 KO's
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IP: 93C0 D1DD
Bumping This Ish... |
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02-15-05, 12:52 PM
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#8
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IP: D38E 499D
Decent...just too predictable writing for me..
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