Battle Rules:

6 - UNLIMITED Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Honest and explained votes only..If not explained,They will be deleted.

3-0 is ah K.O.
4-1 " same! "


Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 08-13-05 at 09:16 PM

Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in.


Win by 3-0 KO

ColdSTEEL has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-08-05 09:18 PM.

Law_Jr has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-08-05 09:35 PM.

This dude wants 2 own me, he cant be serious
when ya dad fuked ya mom he musta been delerious
I can tell he's a wangsta talkin bout his steel is cold
payin fa bathroom breaks but still don't have a piss-toll (pistol)
Spends his time suckin hella dicks and eatin alotta clits
Its obvious this dudes a FUCKIN BUM now let that be the end of it

__________________

Ez...


Ayo,Check it..
Just cuz you look like a gorillah...dont make U tough an sick.
Gay rapper?...He told-
^^Thats proof,but yall still wanna see how he ride?
He a spoof...aint no ganagstah buy tickets jus ta go see B5!
Talkin bout Loosin rep.......He dont know what he facin!
Takes this "L" back ta "U-N-F" an get sum better Elevation!
Punches?...I got one that'll leave him flaw'd....an snuff his jaw!
Cuz I aint gotta be Steven segal....................................
................................................."ta be Above This Law!"

1.He looks like a chimp...http://tinypic.com/a5ferm.jpg
2.Self explained

Blah!!!...you know tha rest.....

Eazy....still lookin for comp....

Dont understand then Dont vote...

****************uppin***************************** ****

****************uppin***************************** ****

Voted For: ColdSTEEL

This dude wants 2 own me, he cant be serious
when ya dad fuked ya mom he musta been delerious
^^basic...vocab alone don't make it complex...1/10
I can tell he's a wangsta talkin bout his steel is cold
payin fa bathroom breaks but still don't have a piss-toll (pistol)
^^I see where ya goin...but ya gotta word it better..4/10
Spends his time suckin hella dicks and eatin alotta clits
Its obvious this dudes a FUCKIN BUM now let that be the end of it
^^Weak....2/10

Ok...first and last bars were weak.I think you need to get more complex.The middle bar...piss-toll/pistol is an ite wordplay...but ya gotta word it better.And all your set-ups must be relevant to the punch somehow.Keep working...you'll get there.

Just cuz you look like a gorillah...dont make U tough an sick.
Gay rapper?...He told-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Law_Jr
untouchablekilla......suck my dick!
^^Good personal with quote....5/10
^^Thats proof,but yall still wanna see how he ride?
He a spoof...aint no ganagstah buy tickets jus ta go see B5!
^^Ok...kinda basic....2/10
Talkin bout Loosin rep.......He dont know what he facin!
Takes this "L" back ta "U-N-F" an get sum better Elevation!
^^Ok....4/10
Punches?...I got one that'll leave him flaw'd....an snuff his jaw!
Cuz I aint gotta be Steven segal....................................
................................................."ta be Above This Law!"
^^Ok...this Law bullshit is played as fuck now..

OK...one sided.That first bar was an ite personal...but we all know what he tryna say metaphorically...but it was good.2nd bar was dope...just embarrasing him.3rd was Ok i guess.The last bar messed ya up as it's played.But verses like this is what's needed...comprised of personals that attack.

Vote-Coldsteel
RTF BELOW PLEASE
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203668

Voted For: ColdSTEEL

Structure-Both had iight structure both had good flow, same flow at that....nothing really different from the structure...so ill just call that even on this catergorie

Vocab-Biggest word in this was delerious no vocab on this at all to tell u the truth....both up on vocab, enhance ur vocab as u go along in the verse..makes it flow better, so ya both up on that yo....

Personals-Obvious to see who had better personals, COdesteel by far....Law jr. no hate man, just wasnt feelin it this round.....up on those law.

Punches-Code steel had more original fresh hott punches that hit hard, law. jr i think urs was sorta played wit that deleerious line...i heard that too many times in the past weak for real man.... up on ur punches make them actually hit ur opponent.

Multis-Dont feel either had great multis both up on multis to make it flow better and to enhance ur verse fo real dawgs

Originality-Like i said before codesteel's verse was far more fresh and original than law jr......no hate law...just stating my opinion yo

RTF ON MY BATTLE IN MY SIG PLEASE.......SINCE I KINDLY ANALYZED YOURS

Thanx an I will return favor.........still uppin***********************




An tha above this law line was nice...because of his name,and nobody used it for a personal punch line.......but thanx for tha break down,an I had a few multi's...but who's really counting?


Thanx folks,

uppin............................................. ............................

__________________

hmm......i'm waiting

y0 tHaT sHiT wUz FiRe SuN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________
Da EmCee GrAvEyArD
EmPtY

^^^Im tryin ta get too you dawg...Im at work doing double shifts...