Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
04-01-05, 10:39 PM | #31 | ||||||||
Geaux Fuck Yourself
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IP: 3E60 38C3
potential like whoa... that's why I like your shit... it reminds me of my past self...
8/10... You've got it... but your just not quite to the 9 level yet... but knockin' on the door... next one should be a definate 9 or 10.
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King of Missouri I Fucked Mack's Mom. And I Liked It. -[p-S-a]- 2003-2009 Quote:
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04-17-05, 01:59 PM | #32 | |||||||
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IP: D9D2 54FB
haha...uppin this again..been a while.......
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Living Legendz I Promise Alot...But I Deliver Alot More... ...Topicals... SPEKTIKUL GFX
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05-04-05, 05:08 PM | #33 | |||||||
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IP: 7236 47FA
4t id up this shit again...
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Living Legendz I Promise Alot...But I Deliver Alot More... ...Topicals... SPEKTIKUL GFX
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05-04-05, 08:20 PM | #34 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 3B8D A3C4
ey yo man dis was some tight shit homie....erthing was good
but ya flow fell off juss a lil bit though...still dope....9/10 return da fav. on my new verse its called "ill always love you" thanx homie
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06-17-05, 08:38 AM | #35 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 1EAF 3328
Switched ya style up a bit in here, kept away from the big vocab and focussed on the pure emotion in this one! I love how you divided it into different aspects of life and as a conclusion posed the rhetorical question "isn't all life good?". Had insightful lines with wisdom in them, flow was overall good, emotion was strongest part of it. Be feeling this piece for sure, easy to read, deep and inspiring stuff man!
Keep it up
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-18-05, 09:49 PM | #36 | |||||||
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IP: 927A 13BE
thnx mami...upppin...
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Living Legendz I Promise Alot...But I Deliver Alot More... ...Topicals... SPEKTIKUL GFX
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06-19-05, 02:08 AM | #37 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: 074B 22E7
'bring to life'- mabye i'm a little byist because i've been through it, but you pinned the emotions perfectly, i'm taken back by how exact you were on the thought process and feelings that a mother goes through. It was very well-written, also. I honestly can't think of any criticism I can give. The vocab wasn't that big, but I think more complex words would've taken away from the verse. Simplicity is the best way to describe it, because it's very overwhelming. I loved that part, I give it a 10/10 (this is the first time I've done that btw)
'a dog's life'- made some very good points and observations. However, the structure could use some work and some of the ideas were choppy. When I say 'choppy' i mean that it seemed llike you switched to a new idea without fully explaining the last, like "Miserable..waking up each day just seems like too much hard work... If u ever get to tht point... Just remember how much hard work it was for ur mother to give birth..." < it felt to me, that you didn't finish what you were going to say about the point the person gets to and you switch back to hard times you were describing before; "if you ever get to that point" seems out of place. I would give it a 7/10 'the good life'- "Fancy suits...posh vocabulary...topped with expensive fancy meals... Wots wrong with throwbacks...street slang...and quarter pounder deals..." < i agree fully and best bar in the verse, it would've been nice to stick w/ that theme, but it's your verse, so i'm not saying it's a bad thing that u didn't. Some of the verse seemed generic as far as the thinking goes, but the last bar and the one I quoted were definately an exception. I can't quite place my finger on it, but something was missing. I would rate this a 7.5/10 i hope that helped and try 2 stop by n check me out |
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06-19-05, 02:30 AM | #38 | |||||||
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IP: 146B A7AD
^^^thanks yo...that was good feed.Wish everybody would explain their feedback..much appreciated..upppp....
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Living Legendz I Promise Alot...But I Deliver Alot More... ...Topicals... SPEKTIKUL GFX
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